“I don’t need people” state of mind

@Former-Member, I’m going to sleep soon. I hope you have a restful night 💗

Maybe soon I’ll wake up and realise none of it is real. I don’t feel real. People don’t feel real. Are my painful memories real? Do I have hope I’ll wake up and realise that it wasn’t real?

Hey there @creative_writer

How are you going today?

I'm here if you wanted to chat about how you're feeling right now.

Sending hugs

Hi @amber22, I hope you are well. I’ve been ruminating a lot over the past lately, and then I got triggered 😔

It's lovely to hear from you @creative_writer

Oh I am so sorry that you've been feeling that way. I'm here with you and you are not alone at all with how you are feeling.

Do you have any plans for tonight or have you managed to get up to much today as you have been feeling this way?

@amber22, when does it stop hurting so much? Right now I am mostly feeling a sense of loss and sadness. So much was taken from me. I know it wasn’t my fault, but SA is very personal.

I didn’t get up to much, watched tv, took a shower, did lots of pamper stuff, and now I’m going to change my bedsheets.

What about you, did you get up to much today?

It's totally valid how you are feeling, it's a really tough thing to deal with, I hope that you're speaking to someone about it or getting the help that you need. It is a horrifically hurtful thing, I am here for you while you're feeling what you're feeling.

That sounds good, fresh bed sheets are the best feeling. I hope that you get a really good sleep tonight with them.

I just worked today and I went to pilates this morning. I've been trying to be more motivated with it recently because it makes me feel really good afterwards.

Have you had dinner tonight yet? @creative_writer

@amber22, I’ve had more support since last year. I even had one of my meds increased lately which has helped, I am no longer having suicidal urges. Still have a long way to go towards healing. It will be a working progress.

I love clean sheets, it’s so comforting. I have quite a bit of laundry now, will be doing part of it tom. I also enrolled in my June units today which are starting soon, so I got to get started on that, the teaching period starts on Monday.

Pilates sounds good. I want to get active again, but I’m not sure how far I should push myself. Like I want to do weights, but my hands have not been happy, I will discuss x ray results tom, I’m hoping it rules out any osteoarthritis. I do need to learn to be more careful and improve my form, I have no idea what I do to my poor flexible joints. Maybe I should start off light at first.

I had chicken, veg and Leb bread. Have you had dinner yet?

That is so great to hear that you're seeking help @creative_writer

That's very exciting about your studies! It sounds like you have a very productive few days 🙂

Ohh yes good idea, it's better to start off light and see how you go. Possibly just doing some light weights by yourself at home so you can monitor what feels good and what doesn't without having to consult other people if that works?

Yum that sounds delish, I'm having tacos tonight!

@amber22, my course plan had to be changed. I do need to start slowly introducing course material. I feel so exhausted, but I at least have an idea of one of the units since I had to defer it last year.

I hope Centrelink is okay with my new course structure, the last thing I need is more stress.

I can always get advice from my GP too. I have light weights at home, but might need to start off with less reps too.

Tacos sound good.