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I'm back

BlueBaySenior Contributor

I'm back

Hi @NikNik @pip @Decadian@utopia@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@Shaz51@Former-Member @CherryBomb @Silenus moderators and friends

I knew i wouldn't last!! I need you all. who was i kidding. Hubby and I went camping for 4 days and we argued so much about how to put the tent up, which post to use, wrong post, right post, etc etc etc

I couldn't read my book that i bought because he kept talking to me. At the end i gave up. We did walk around the perimeter of the caravan park which took 1/2 hour (huge park). I managed to swim which that gave me some peace and quiet for a little while.

We just snapped at each other most of the time. And when we didn't snap we sat and hardly spoke. he is the type of guy that doesn't say much but i noticed even in the car driving up (3.5 hours) he wouldn't start a conversation. So i just looked up facebook and read the paper, or fell asleep.

The weather was beautiful (25-30 every day). But i realised that i need space to myself. We are home now and he is washing the car, I have just put a load of washing on. the kids survived without us and actually not even keen to see us 😞

My mental state is not that great. The CAT team rang me on saturday to make sure i was okay and asked about my sleeping. The psych i saw gave me some sleeping tablet but i am still adjusting and don't like the drowsiness it causes the next day. I did call them again on sunday afternoon but they had to transfer me to the place that i went to and i sadi no don't worry as hubby was coming back to me anytime and i couldn't speak while he was there.

I have an appt tomorrow to see the CAT team psych again, i also have an appt to see my own psych in the afternoon. it will be interesting to see what he has to say abut me seeing the CAT tem psych.

I knew i wouldn't last being off here, i just needed to tell someone about my weekend. And as for intimacy and sex - well there is none. And it's prob my fault because i told him last time in hospital back in July that i wasn't interested. which is still true but i am sure he would like to.

I feel like a failure for not being able to stay away from this forum, i always have good intentions, set myself a goal but never go through with it. that's where i see myself as a huge failure.

anyway, just thought i would say hi to everyone and that i have missed you all even though it's not even a week. how patethic is that.

222 replies

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In response to: I'm back

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: I'm back

hello @Former-Member

how did you go ? what did your psychiatrist. say ?? my friend xx

In response to: I'm back

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: I'm back

Hi @Former-Member

I feel exactly the same at the moment. how are you? Not sure that I have spoken to you before 🙂

In response to: I'm back

Unknown userMember

Re: I'm back

hello @BlueBay I just deleted what I had written and then read pip's response below. I didn't want to upset you further but I had written almost word for word the same as pip - if the doctor cant find it he or she needs to start looking!! internal ultrasound.

In response to: Re: I'm back

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: I'm back

Hi @Former-Member

I have had an internal ultrasound, then an xray but nothing. I can't believe that there is nothing. Now waiting for an appt to see gyno.

ps. i don't mind you writing same as pip, but i can't find pip's response.

In response to: Re: I'm back

pipSenior Contributor

Re: I'm back

Hey @BlueBay. My response is on the previous page. However, after reading your latest post re: internal ultra-sound, x-ray and locating nothing, I have to wonder? If the mirena was still inside, and x-ray or ultra-sound would've located it. Also you would've been in incredible pain. The fact you're not tells me perhaps the mirena could've dislodged and fallen out. If the gyno finds nothing, he may order an examination under anaesthetic. I realize you are 'freaking out', it's scary not knowing. However, if it has fallen out, you may have to consider another form of birth control. I sincerely hope for your sake, the mirena has dislodged and you will be okay. How long before you see the gyno?

In response to: Re: I'm back

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: I'm back

Hey @pip

Not when and if the gyno will see me. My GP faxed the referral while i was in his rooms tonight. So on Monday i will give gyno a call and make sure receptionist has received the referral. Gyno is back from holidays on wednesday so i am hoping he will say 'yes' to seeing me. Otherwise it won't be unitl January and i don't think i can wait that long. But my GP was not worried about it at all, saying oh you must have passed it when you were on the toilet. But i still think that i would have noticed. Anyway, I am nervous, worried and have no idea what to expect next.

Yes my own GP inserted it and he is too quick to say oh it just fell out. but yet the ultrasound and xray didn't pick it up??? Don't need to worry about birth control, i had my tubes tied many years ago; this was just to help with the blood loss.

In response to: Re: I'm back

Unknown userMember

Re: I'm back

hello sadgirl
pip's response is under mine here. if you are not in discomfort and the internal ultrasound showed nothing perhaps you has passed it especially if you have loss of blood but I'm not medically trained. if you aren't in pain perhaps try to put it out of your mind , heaven forbid you have enough else going on in your life, what does sadgirl like doing? listening to music, reading, dancing, walking, swimming, meditating, singing, telling jokes? tell us your friends on here want to know. we care about you sadgirl. big hug xxx

In response to: Re: I'm back

Unknown userMember

Re: I'm back

hello shaz51 honestly I don't remember. I have had such a rollercoaster ride of emotions over these past few weeks, days, hours. I did hear some fabulous news today though, my twin sister has had heart problems for over 12 mths and had an ablation on the left ventricle which she found out yesterday was successful. she was having 34,000 extra heartbeats than normal and is now down to 8 so over the moon about that. how are you?

In response to: Re: I'm back

BlueBellsSenior Contributor

Re: I'm back

Hi @BlueBay 🙂

If the reason for the mirena was to help with blood loss.......have you noticed a change there?

If everything appears pre-mirena, then, may well have been dislodged.

I agree with mohill, put it out of your mind. It's said that the majority of things we worry about never happen, so try to say .."ahh well. I'll find out when I get to the doc. No big deal" and forget it. 😉

I don't know how easy, or if even possible, to change your name on Sane, but maybe if you changed to "notsadgirl", you would not be constantly reminding yourself to be "sad", but rather "not sad". Self talk related idea 🙂

Hugs 🙂

In response to: Re: I'm back

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: I'm back

Hi @BlueBells

I really can't do much now, have to wait to see gyno. I have read elsewhere that a lot of women notice a big difference in their moods, their health when the mirena is taken out. I was trying to think this morning about that and i honestly can't say i have noticed a difference. But then I am also struggling with a mental illness.

I was thinking of changing my name a while ago. Let's see 'notsosadgirl' or 'baygirl'. I'll see if i can do it myself otherwise might need some help.

Thanks for your reply. xxoo

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