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I'm back

BlueBaySenior Contributor07 Nov 2016, 4:47 pm AEDT

I'm back

Hi @NikNik @pip @Decadian@utopia@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@Shaz51@Former-Member @CherryBomb @Silenus moderators and friends

I knew i wouldn't last!! I need you all. who was i kidding. Hubby and I went camping for 4 days and we argued so much about how to put the tent up, which post to use, wrong post, right post, etc etc etc

I couldn't read my book that i bought because he kept talking to me. At the end i gave up. We did walk around the perimeter of the caravan park which took 1/2 hour (huge park). I managed to swim which that gave me some peace and quiet for a little while.

We just snapped at each other most of the time. And when we didn't snap we sat and hardly spoke. he is the type of guy that doesn't say much but i noticed even in the car driving up (3.5 hours) he wouldn't start a conversation. So i just looked up facebook and read the paper, or fell asleep.

The weather was beautiful (25-30 every day). But i realised that i need space to myself. We are home now and he is washing the car, I have just put a load of washing on. the kids survived without us and actually not even keen to see us 😞

My mental state is not that great. The CAT team rang me on saturday to make sure i was okay and asked about my sleeping. The psych i saw gave me some sleeping tablet but i am still adjusting and don't like the drowsiness it causes the next day. I did call them again on sunday afternoon but they had to transfer me to the place that i went to and i sadi no don't worry as hubby was coming back to me anytime and i couldn't speak while he was there.

I have an appt tomorrow to see the CAT team psych again, i also have an appt to see my own psych in the afternoon. it will be interesting to see what he has to say abut me seeing the CAT tem psych.

I knew i wouldn't last being off here, i just needed to tell someone about my weekend. And as for intimacy and sex - well there is none. And it's prob my fault because i told him last time in hospital back in July that i wasn't interested. which is still true but i am sure he would like to.

I feel like a failure for not being able to stay away from this forum, i always have good intentions, set myself a goal but never go through with it. that's where i see myself as a huge failure.

anyway, just thought i would say hi to everyone and that i have missed you all even though it's not even a week. how patethic is that.

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In response to: I'm back

Shaz51Senior Contributor17 Nov 2016, 3:09 pm AEDT

Re: I'm back

Hello @Decadian

I am back xx

You have serious health problems of you own - how the hell is it your responsibilty to do more for your husband regarding his MI? -- i know it is crazy what they said , so i need to get that out of my thinking now

I understand we can make life more or less comfortable with MI issues - but in the long run we have to help ourselves - at least it seems that women have to.-- yes , I am thinking we can do too much even to the point of babying the Mi instead of just supporting and encouraging our love ones

someone has cancelled out on him - and yeah - sounds like a cover-up -- to me too @Decadian and hubby doesn`t want to go back , so he said he is going to cope on his own with the meds

In response to: Re: I'm back

DecadianSenior Contributor17 Nov 2016, 3:18 pm AEDT

Re: I'm back

Hi @Shaz51

Thanks for the info - yes - it does seem as if you are supposed to clean up his act - and the strange thing is at the worst time in my life it was all up to me to fix myself - we can only change ourselves - and I guess if a person wants to recover they will find their way with help and resist being babied

I don't like the idea of your husband trying to go it alone with just the meds - this will put more pressure on you - or rather - he will try to

Keep us up to date - it's you who needs the support when your husband tries a supeman trick -

Oh boy

Dec

In response to: Re: I'm back

Shaz51Senior Contributor17 Nov 2016, 3:27 pm AEDT

Re: I'm back

Hello @Decadian

I don't like the idea of your husband trying to go it alone with just the meds - this will put more pressure on you - yes I don`t like the idea too and it does feel like it is putting more pressure on me - it's you who needs

the support when your husband tries a supeman trick - ha ha yes , Trying to find some hints and tips on how to handle this ??

how are you today

In response to: I'm back

Shaz51Senior Contributor17 Nov 2016, 3:59 pm AEDT

Re: I'm back

Hello @Decadian,

Ii is good that you have been able to take it easy today xx

thank you for you messages

Hello @BlueBay, @pip, @Faith-and-Hope, @utopia

In response to: I'm back

Unknown userMember17 Nov 2016, 4:47 pm AEDT

Re: I'm back

no one is sick of you. I don't know you. I can read between the lines that you are a beautiful person who gives, right now as others have said you have to get something back - reading your posts is heartbreaking - please look after you

In response to: Re: I'm back

DecadianSenior Contributor17 Nov 2016, 10:42 pm AEDT

Re: I'm back

Hi @Shaz51

I've been thinking how women are expected to do so much about our recovery on our own - yet remember my ex husband moaning and groaning with a cold or a headache and wouldn't take something for it

And I had no sympathy with that - and I would snap -"Take a pill or shuddup" - really user friendly nurse I must say - but one little tablet and I would have been all sympathy

Notice - he's my ex

All the best @Shaz51 - thinking of you

In response to: Re: I'm back

BlueBellsSenior Contributor18 Nov 2016, 5:56 pm AEDT

Re: I'm back

Hi there 🙂

I don't know who is thinking others are getting sick of them, from personal experience, it's possibly a mix of being overwhelmed, under-appreciated and trying to do more than your share of coping / caring.

You have every right to feel "over it", that doesn't mean other people are "over you".

Also, a quote I read years ago:

"God created woman, not from his head, that he should rule her, nor from his feet that she should serve him, but from his side, that they should walk together."

In response to: Re: I'm back

BlueBellsSenior Contributor18 Nov 2016, 5:57 pm AEDT

Re: I'm back

oops, ...mans head

In response to: Re: I'm back

Shaz51Senior Contributor18 Nov 2016, 6:30 pm AEDT

Re: I'm back

Hello @Decadian, @BlueBay, @BlueBells, @Former-Member, @pip xx

Hello @Decadian xx

I've been thinking how women are expected to do so much about our recovery on our own -- I know , i have to be 100% well all the time -- called man Flu

How are you today xx

In response to: Re: I'm back

Unknown userMember18 Nov 2016, 6:42 pm AEDT

Re: I'm back

hello shaz51
I have spoken about this with my psychiatrist. I feel as though I am propping most of the family up. I tiptoe around people. I use the I am fine response all the time now.

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