Socialising for Beginners

Thanks @Historylover in a way I am so used to moving and having different environments it probably is why I have been slow in figuring out general social stuff. Now I have been 20 years in one place and I am seeing people come and go. It is still sad that the situation arose for this neighbour. Shows me how stressed the world is.

Enjoy your music @MDT

Hope you do not have the dreaded covid and get better soon. Hydrate. and rest and test.

Agree, re change restricting social understanding, @Appleblossom. Someone else has posted that relationships last 5-10 years for her. And I don't think there has ever been a time when people moved house so often. In my parents' generation, no-one sold their home and moved, and I don't recall anyone renting when I was in childhood or early adulthood (I remember one). Times certainly have changed. Change isn't always progress.

Thanks for the compliment, by the way. Same back at you. Interesting that no-one wants to know me in the real world unless they can use, disrespect or exploit me.

Yep its seems a sorry state of the world that it seems common for people to be like that ... use, exploit or disrespect ... still working on gentle push backs on all that ... after being shocked or upset when it occurs, it seems to be a good mindset for me to be in a cautious but active and curious experimental stage about it all ... @Historylover when I encounter it I am not taking it so personally and remembering to push back. I give lots of chances though ... we will see what happens ... ha ha ... next not so exciting episode ...

You do you. I like you fine just the way you are.

I hadn't found your post until now, @Appleblossom. I chanced upon it while trawling through the threads. It isn't showing in my inbox—I've found that happens from time to time.

Socialising is such a challenge! Social trauma—no wonder there is so much 'social anxiety' about. Still staying in my own company to maintain my wellbeing here.

Just chiming in @Historylover . I totally agree about socialising... it's such hard work. For me, i feel like I have to battle my way through and at the end, just slump onto the lounge for a huge rest....

Such as active process... just like I'd run a marathon or something!

Couldn't agree more, @tyme. Socialising is supposed to be an expression of our refined selves—no bragging, swearing, disrespecting, bullying or bad behaviour of any kind—but social niceties have been replaced by dog-eat-dog and I'm always fresh meat!

People are horrible!!

What, on earth, is the answer?

Hi @Historylover you are right with what you say but there are lots of great people too. It’s just that we can’t always find the good folk out there when we’ve been wounded so deeply and so often.

This is a really good conversation so thank you to all who have contributed.

Put it this way, I have eventually 'learnt' social skills, but it's so not worth the effort on my part. I'm just so happy not having to have 'friends'. I talk to a lot of people, don't get me wrong, but I wouldn't 'die' for them @Eve7 @Appleblossom @Historylover .

I'm quite content not being 'fresh meat'.... but then again, I think i'd bite back (this i have learnt to do!)