Socialising for Beginners

Hi @Appleblossom

Sorry to hear that you are feeling so fragile right now. I hope you feel better soon.

Meggle

I was instructed to attend a morning tea in the office today. Terrifying for me with my introverted self. Arrived well after start time. Thankfully stood next to nice colleague I’m working with. Mumbled short update on work piece. Then (I don’t know what overcame me) I asked her if she liked camping or hiking. And she did. And we very comfortably chatted for 10 minutes. It was a nice experience. But my swift exit was observed. Oh well!

Good going @Delicatessen

Today I told a psychologist in charge of the course program that she needed to run one on social skills. She said that the centre for clinical interventions has an online module on social skills so I will go look for that. You can just google it. But she did say she would consider running such a group.

Meggle

Well don't just leave me hanging here. What's the plan. Your not just going to let this lady disappear

into the mist like an unanswered mystery.

OK I'll butt out, but I seriously hope this could be the start of a, to be continued.. romance

story.

@Delicatessen Very best wishes.. tonys mb 1

Hey @Appleblossom Got a cloud in your eye. . . Mate I hope things brighten up. Old tonys is here

if you can handle my acrid black coffee and overly crusted damper. just remember

The centre is still soft n warm. . . Take care of yourself mate..

Good on you @Delicatessen Dont worry too much about it. So long as you put in some sort of a show, its socialising, not actual work.

@Oaktree Good on you for that too. Speaking up constructively.

@tonys you made me smile re post to @Delicatessen

I might chat about it another day on my personal thread, but its a weird set of scenarios that relate to work I was doing in the past (2006-7) and me stepping back gracefully then. A woman from that group is in a sustainablility group I have been on the edges of since 2003. There have been a range of weird interactions going on with her in the last year, adding up to me feeling quite bullied. I am putting a lot of 2+2s together about the past and the present and what went down. I lost income but that is not the only thing. At the time, I did not realise but just moved on and dived into more satisfying music for me. I am hoping and praying we can work it out, but it is time for my truth telling, and I have drawn some lines in the sand with her. I tried to do it as lovingly as possible. Said to one person I was grieving a friend, but the ball is in her court. Zero tolerance for any NDIS shaming by her or any middle class madames. Discrimination like that, is against the law these days.

I have been told I have very good social skills about 3 years by a lady in NEAMI or Support Co-ordinator?? cant remember which. I even now have a "repertoire" of small talk and jokes, which I utilised last night, honing my skills in off the cuff conversation and socialising for a good cause, but I did have to some straight talking to the madam in a quiet and mid range voice

Oh last night I won a prize as I could do a good growling grass frog mimic. lol Hilarious ...poignant ... maybe I will hang on to that skerrick of humour to help me navigate. One of my big issues has been vocalising ... it was a small fun moment and there were about a dozen small fun moments, but the big issue with the 'madam' was hanging over it.

I was often quiet, listened a lot, spoke when invited, and helped. The madam, has a saying ... "there is a time and place for everything" ... something rose up in me ... and I told her directly ... "There is NO time to tell me what to feed my son and there is no time to tell me who to have sex with." 2 issues that she had been harping on about at me over last 18 months. I did not quite get what was going on, but she let a few cats out of the bag and there was some serendipity ... and sadly my rose coloured glasses are off. Sometimes I prefer the world when they are still on. Gotta grow up Apple. It has really knocked me for a six, so definitely need to go gently bently. Might take me a few more weeks to calm my farm ... lol ... I can make jokes at my expense ,,, but it is also serious.

Love to you all ... for contributing to this thread and being there for me.

Yes Gently Bently @Appleblossom

Sounds like you are standing up for yourself and that is great. Being more assertive is something I need to work on. So proud of you! You go!

Meggle

Thanks @Oaktree My counsellor has been telling me to get in touch with mama bear, and I think she kicked into action. The harping on I should feed my son more legumes and beans was such a weird left field obsession with her, combined with the other ... that I began to smell a rat. I feed and fed my kids LOTS of legumes. Anyway I am still sad and upset about it. Just need to let it be. Told her she owes a some explanations but I will leave it for a month or so ... but will not wait for ever. I also told her earlier that if I felt I had to leave the association I would be upset. Might not get nudged out so quietly and gracefully this time.

I have ruminated on it enough. Need to turn my head to music and physio. Thanks for even this little spilling my guts.

Well @Appleblossom , once again you make me proud... I would give everything to be a fly on the wall at one of your social functions when the rose glasses n gloves come off. . .

The only downside is no one would hear my little blowfly hands clapping vigorously as you cut loose

and. . . re educate the floral clad wide eyed audience. . .

Please , I beg of you.. don't ever change. Lets just say by now I'm more than smiling,

and I hope you see the fun side of you too.

tonys moonbase one.

Sorry @Oaktree @tonys

this seems to a saga.

On the bright side, I have not needed or drunk any coffee since Sunday. Still wired... only getting 3 -4 hours sleep. Though my counsellor agreed it was a good idea to try and manage without prn if possible. Felt I should trim activity today so did not go to Senior Exercise but did go to the Peace choir.

It is in the same room where I used to run the choir where I met the problem lady who I will call LLL. I settled into warm ups and had all sorts of feelings, just could not concentrate on what the conductor said and let most of it go over my head. It is all exptremely basic I am doing for the purpose of Diversity and Inclusion not the singing interest. When he started doing on of the warm ups I used to do 15+ years ago in that same space, I got antsy and went and stood next to an organiser ... and said 'I had a horrible thing happen here'. She said talk about it later. I also applauded the present fella out the front. Kept trying to concentrate but just upset and my body started to get into trauma shocka and I started to need to huddle, teared up and left quickly. So thats that.

Sorry Tonys maybe I cannot let it go so easily, as maybe something about what went down years ago actually damaged my son, and has us in this current compromised position. I do not know what to do. I keep praying, meditating, and when I am well enough, do my exercises and music practise. I have a rehearsal on tonight across town, which I ought to go to

Thanks I really need the support.