How do psychologists work?

@Jlol @A lot of women are also uncomfortable with discussing emotions

I had a friend who kept telling me she was struggling during the pandemic, i asked her how or what , was it mh challenges?

She got offended and said she doesnt feel comfortable discussing her mh with anyone.

Made me feek unsafe to discuss my struggles with her going forward

Psychology isn't a new thing - however when I was a young person MH was simply not discussed - my father was the local senior policeman, so I knew things happened - suicide and domestic violence etc. - I could never ask questions about these issues though - it was totally out of bounds.

Years passed - when I was in my early teens I found all sorts of "forbidden" information was available in public libraries and started to haunt them - I was learning amazing things.

One of these subjects was psychology - wonderful - it was certainly not as easy to understand as it is for me now anyway - and there was this strange expression that made me search - that's "Mental Hygiene" - that really puzzled me.

I was about to be married and my father was studying for promotion in the police force - one morning I heard him telling my mother something he was really excited about - you've guessed it - psychology - I already knew what he was talking about - it was all new for him - I am still amazed I already knew so much about this.

My comment about this is that things are changing fast in the area of Mental Health - this is a good thing - a couple of points I have learned are important I think.

One is that the psychologist has no idea of what we think unless we tell them - and naturally people have to be pretty strong in themselves to challenge their therapist. I do actually - I am not an easy patient I know - I do get a lot out of people by being frank and polite of course.

And people need to want to change - to grow - it's necessary to work with the psychologist - this isn't easy - after all - people without confidence or self-esteem with have a harder time.

Sometimes it's necessary to find another therapist - that's not easy either.

Of course - the more we read the more we learn and the more we learn the more we know - asking questions about anything is one way of getting info - we need to filter it though.

This forum is such a good place to learn about Mental Health - and to ask those questions.

Owlunar

@EternalFlower @Jlol @justanotherguy @chibam @DogMan79

There is a strong possibility that the psychologist is compatible with the patient - so how they work is with what

Lovely anecdote @Owlunar thanks for sharing.

Psychology and therapy are still today misunderstood.

Generalisations like "everyone should go to therapy"

"It always helps to talk to someone"

"Just reach out"

"Psychologists are sll caring and qualified , if you see one you'll feel better!" are out there in media or advertising and in my experience its a very delicate and individual thing what helps each person with their mh.

I agree wholly that they dont know unless we tell t

Dont think though you hage to tell your psych stuff before youre comfortable.

I enjoyed ur story about ur dad as a policeman and the way people talking about mh without talking about. That psychology was what he was living with in his work but it wasnt yet called that!

Hi @EternalFlower

You are right about not sharing anything with - well - anyone - until we are comfortable about it. We are all entitled to our personal privacies.

I believe you are right about those generalisations too - they might work for some or every most - but not everyone - after all - it can work for some of the people all of the time or all of the people some of the time. Nothing is right for everyone all of the time. So many people just don't need all of that - at least - not until they feel okay about it.

Also - knowing when to stop therapy is just as important as knowing when we need to start -

Thanks for your thoughts -

Owlunar

@Owlunar, psychology is a strange beast. In order to be a 'good' psychologist, you have to know how to manipulate people correctly, that's basically the whole point. But in a world with pop psychology everywhere, people just use it as another way to try to get what they want from you. It's so tiresome where life becomes a battle of wits rather than a meeting of minds. I generally stay away from psychology theory as I don't think I could handle it, but I am getting better at identifying those that use it just as a weapon.

Hey @justanotherguy thanks for your contributions. It's important to acknowledge that everyone has different experiences and they are unique to the individual. I personally have had a lot of success with psychologists and I wouldn't want this to discourage anyone from seeking help. I feel the industry is changing a lot and it is more about empowering people to support themselves rather than about manipulation. Of course in any field there are people who can be harmful but I believe overall, psychologists are there because they want to help people. Thanks again!

Hi @Paperdaisy , it's so hard for me as I've had a lot of people try and 'therapise' me and caused a lot of damage, I've spent more time undoing that harm than the actual problems in my life. If people have a good result from therapy then more power to them.

Hi @Paperdaisy agree many people find psychologists helpful.

I think therapy is a broad term and people can also get benefit from seeing social workers, peer workers, ots or mh nurses which can all have therapeutic effect if its the right fit.

I think everyone has a different recovery recipe and for me its about taking from different sources, which includes a rherapist.

But, its not just the therapist that helps me recover. Speaking to peers on social media about our recovery has helped me . Thanks for your input here as well ,❤️

I agree @EternalFlower and what I'm hearing is that this allows you to have control over your own recovery. It's up to you to take what you need from the various supports out there and be empowered to support yourself. Thanks for sharing 😊

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@justanotherguy wrote:

Hi @Paperdaisy , it's so hard for me as I've had a lot of people try and 'therapise' me and caused a lot of damage, I've spent more time undoing that harm than the actual problems in my life. If people have a good result from therapy then more power to them.

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What I would just like to add to this, @Paperdaisy , is: how can we ever expect anything to get better unless the victims are free and supported to speak out?

I think we can all agree that there is rot within the mental health system. Maybe it's in 1% of cases; maybe it's in 99%; maybe it's 50-50... I don't think anybody really knows the proportions. A large part of that is the fact that victims aren't inclined to speak out and often find it difficult to do so.

A part of this problem is the fact that when most victims do speak out in public, they tend to be gently contradicted or watered down by others coming in behind them to spruick the virtues of the same system that harmed that victim. There's a discouraging effect to that, which can really be powerful in cases where it took the victim a hell of a lot of courage to speak out in the first place. Often they have a great deal of pertinant information to share, and that won't come out all in the first post. So finding a polite-yet-resistant reception during an early effort at sharing their story can set that disclosure process back by years.

People on here will know that I have suffered at the hands of the system, and that I am no fan of it. It might seem as if I am not shy about airing my concerns on here. But every time I open my mouth on these boards, I am wracked with worry that I am doing something wrong by speaking out; that I may be doing more harm then good.

I know there are those who are displeased about me pointing out the inadequacies of the system, because they cherish it. I know I've hurt people here, and for that, I'm sorry. But then, I've also read countless stories from other victims, and I know that for each one of them, there are likely hundreds of unspoken victims who, like me, don't feel entirely welcome to speak out. In their case, they feel so unwelcome that they do not speak at all. I used to be one of them. Perhaps I really ought to be still.

And thinking of all those victims, I begin to suspect that the greater evil is to remain silent; to not call out the wrongdoing and inadequacy.

But what is truly right, and truly wrong? Silence, or airing harmful truth? I've laid awake many a night trying to figure that out, and I'm still as confused as ever.

I can only say that I sincerely believe that those who speak out against the unflattering track record of the mental health system are performing a necessary service. Because if they don't do that, how are the problems ever going to be accurately identified and fixed?

And to that end, I think there needs to be so serious discussion and re-evaluation of this standard practice of coming in right behind a therapy critic to post-script their message with a soft contradiction of: "yes, but the mental health system also does a lot of good, too!" Because what they do takes bravery; and it's a lonely enough process as it is.

One final thought:

I've been keeping an eye the Robodebt Royal Inquiry going on at the moment. In a nutshell, the old government and the beaurocracy are getting their asses handed to them by the investigators, and the media covering the inquiry.

Do you know what's been conspicuously absent throughout this process? (from my POV, at least) People coming out to say: "Yes, but the government beaurocracy also does a lot of good for a lot of people, too!" Even though, technically, that's very true.

Sometimes we need to just stand back and allow the flagrant flaws of a system to be properly identified, without trying to dilute the revelation, or mitigate the PR damage. Sometimes, it is in the public's best interest to see how broken their support system really is.