How do psychologists work?

https://overland.org.au/previous-issues/issue-239/feature-ignorance-is-bliss/

@chibam @Jlol

It's advocacy groups, pharma and media all the way, telling people that help is at the end of the phone or as simple as going to a psychologist for 10 sessions.

This is reinforced by this stupid question that people ask how if they know U see a psychologist

"Well, what do they say? do they give you any strategies?"

Biggest lie I was ever told.

I fight daily to keep alive and to keep the trauma from overcoming me. Mostly therapists did very very little.

There are a few good ones. But a lot of apathetic lens and yes a lot of empty promises and unspoken exceptions that they exploit.

Thanks for the article, @EternalFlower . I hadn't read that particular one yet, but most of it's revelations were familiar. Although, I must admit that it's always heartening to discover a new therapist blowing the whistle on the seedy underbelly of the system. I fear that nothing will ever change until we get more of those insiders with the courage and moral conscience to do likewise.

Hi @chibam @Jlol

Full disclosure I support Sanes mission and orgs that involve peers and lived experience workers and address the complexity of mh.

Some of the orgs mentioned in the article in my lived experience really pushed this model of "do the work, then recover."

But the work is a multi billion industry that gives you a diagnosis to keep you there and then offers sometimes ineffective treatments while blaming you for not improving.

Why is that saying that therapy didn't help you is the most offensive, scary, blasphemous thing to say ?

We need to be looking at more personalised, wholistic approaches to distress. I'm somewhat relieved sane allows us to say this here. Such views are seen as a threat to some

@chibam - an interesting revelation, 'The Golden Rule of Therapy'. Pretty sure I had that for years, while loved ones were getting more and more angry that I wasn't 'fixed' yet. Frustrating, when as I've mentioned in another post, most of my problems were just my 'loved ones' distorting my mind and causing me to feel 'crazy'. Thanks for SANE forums for allowing me to see this happening. And I think the 'Golden Rule of Therapy' is intended to let patients see the 'problem' for themselves. Kind of hard when it's the therapy itself that's causing the problems!

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@justanotherguy wrote:

And I think the 'Golden Rule of Therapy' is intended to let patients see the 'problem' for themselves. Kind of hard when it's the therapy itself that's causing the problems!

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That, and the fact that many (most?) of the problems are beyond what a single person can realistically or ethically fix.

It exasperates me, thinking of all the advertising that's been put out in recent years to undermine the supposed impact of "toxic masculinity" on mental health; that supposed proud streak men are afflicted with that prevents them from asking for help when they need it.

Well, the reality is that when you ask for help, you are coldly told that you are on your own, and you have to solve your problems yourself. The absurdity of that drives me crazy.

I can't help but wonder how many of those "malfunctioning, toxic" men are refusing to reach out, not because their too proud to do so, but because they are savvy enough to know that doing so is utterly pointless. Then, on top of that, they have to endure the indignity of being belittled, simply because of their gender.

@chibam, there was definitely a lot of pressure from society to stamp out 'toxic' masculinity until recently, but I can see it is not so bad now. SBS and ABC were relentless in their pursuit of men whatever the cost, and they usually targeted the most innocent, 'non-toxic' ones. Anything to do with white men, especially around the time of Donald Trump, showed a real fear of 'masculinity' of any sort. I think it was a hard thing for some men to own up to their behaviours and its negative impacts on others. I can't speak for the idea that therapy was not helpful in that instance, but throughout history men's business was men's business and it's pretty hard for anyone else to understand. I think the business of men is to re-learn the essentials of being men for the future. I know there are men's breakfasts and lunches in my area, it is obviously a thing that requires the right support.

@justanotherguyI fear I may have opened a can of worms with those earlier remarks about toxic masculinity, and perhaps hijacked the conversation off it's original subject (I'm a terrible repeat offender in that regard on here 😔).

To be brief, I agree with your response.

I was mainly trying to point out the absurdity of promising people help that is actually non-existant; and moreso attempting to shame those who don't "reach out" for it, when in reality many of them probably aren't reaching out because they damn well know it's not actually there at all. "Toxic Masculinity" was used as a marketing tool in this regard.

I was more or less just trying to criticize it's usage in this specific way, rather then trying to start a discussion on the entire moral panic against "toxic masculinity". That's a much bigger conversation. Though, thankfully, it sounds like you and I are much on the same page in that regard.

Hi @chibam , yes I could feel a bit of a hijack happening! All ok. I was unaware of the practice of telling men to work things out for themselves, although I have received similar treatment when complaining about my treatment.

"do the work, then recover."

I agree with that. But how do you do the work? With what time? What money? What energy?

I can't help but wonder how many of those "malfunctioning, toxic" men are refusing to reach out, not because their too proud to do so, but because they are savvy enough to know that doing so is utterly pointless.

I mean, speaking for myself, as a bloke I would never talk about my mental health issues with anyone other than someone who's legally bound to keep it private.

I have opened up many times in the passed - to girlfriends and friends - and it's just not a good thing to do. They look at you like you've got 2 heads at best, and use it against you at worse.

Perhaps instead of telling men to open up more we should be telling people to be more compassionate when men open up and not punish them for doing so.