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Want to forget TW

Want to forget TW

Sometimes we can be enjoying the simplest and nicest of things and we are reminded of our past. For me that came yesterday. I was lucky enough to be attending a concert - something on it's own that would have been tricky for me in the past but it was a Christmas present and I was actually looking forward to it. It was a beautiful day and we had found a great position to set up for the day and evening. About half way through the day I had someone tap me on the shoulder - it was actually a nice surprise as it was someone I knew but had not seen in a few years. I knew his Mum - she both taught me and also was in the same sporting club many years later, and I taught his daughter. His Mum passed away a several years ago and we stayed in contact for a while afterwards. This is a person I actually like - he has been through some tough times and I think we connected on that level as well previously.

The conversation was lovely and we were all laughing together (in such a lovely way that I have not laughed for a long time) then out of the blue he brought up someone I absolutely detest. I don't know where it came from as this person is older than both of us but I suppose I should not be surprised as we all grew up in similar circles. He tried to continue the conversation but I could not help but say just how I felt about this person and could we change the subject. My sister was also there and to begin with she was going to have a go at me for being so direct but I think she then cottoned on to just how uncomfortable I was feeling and maybe knew why. This person was not one of those that had abused me for so long as a child but he was no doubt aware of it as he made my life just as impossible when he was around. I was just a kid but that did not stop the comments and implications directed towards me. I was just as scared of this person as the boys involved.

I had just the previous day spoke to my psych about leaving things in the past and then something like this happens. We had talked about what I do when triggered but this was an exception circumstance. I cannot generally hide the pain when it is so bad - I felt so sick at the time. I know my sister picked up on it but my old acquaintance was drinking a bit so really did not ...I am actually grateful for that.

Last night was a really hard night once I got home. To make it worse - I have been sick today and had to come home even before the day started at work - so there have been a lot of tears, a lot of sleeping and a lot of thoughts swimming around. I am having tomorrow off as well - whether I am well enough to be there or not physically, I know I am mentally not. This has been a massive hit and I can feel the effects both physically and mentally. I know it will pass in time but I feel that so much has been happening over the last year or so that my cup is empty.

From here I am unsure 'where to next'. I can feel the world closing in around me - yesterday is probably a culmination of so different emotions, so much grief, so much loss and so much to keep wading through. The beginning of this was 2 weeks ago when I saw a new pdoc and had to go through so much in such a small space of time. I felt okay in the moment doing so but it is always afterwards that it hits. My psych acknowledged this and just how hard it would have been ...I went straight back to work after the pdoc appointment and my psych has no idea how I had gotten the strength to do so - I don't either because it was incredibly hard ...but like most things - I push it away and try not to deal with it ...the result is I am where I am now - triggered massively by what happened yesterday, finding my head all over the place and wondering how I am going to find that place I was once at. ...it will be okay but a little extra support right now would help.

248 replies

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In response to: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

I hope you start to feel better soon and get a good sleep tonight @Zoe7. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for you my friend.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

@Owlunar That is exactly how it has developed the last couple of weeks. The beginning was definitely the pdoc appointment. They are not new memories but rehashing everything at once is draining ...and can have longer term effects when there is so much piled on top. Work has been difficult - not the kids or my wonderful senior staff but as I expected - the person who is working next to me this year. I have had so many long conversations with her colleague teacher (who is a friend of mine) about how she is not only being shut out but not wanting to help with anything. A prime example is the other day she rejected the suggestion she works with me to do some testing. She has a straight grade 2 and I have the combined class. We do the testing by age so it actually meant I had 3 different tests to run. Instead of helping out with one year level, she said she wanted to do it all her own. That frustrated me but I just did mine - then I saw an aide giving the test to some students (which in itself is not allowed). I need to work around her and not let it get to me but as you would know - when we are feeling so vulnerable it magnifies the frustration.

@FloatingFeather I am feeling so much better tonight. I was a bit unsteady at the chemist but that is to be expected as it has been a rough couple of days physically. I suspect I will be quite tired tomorrow but I just need to get through the day and not put too much pressure on myself. Unfortunately being unwell has meant I am behind again in things I need to do this week but I will talk to my team leader tomorrow and see what we can arrange for me to catch up. My senior staff team are very supportive so I have no concerns about talking to any of them.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

@FloatingFeather @Owlunar @Eve7 @NatureLover @Former-Member @AussieRecharger

I want to thank you all for reaching out in support here. It has really made a massive difference 😁 I am feeling a lot better this evening but also know it is going to be a process to be back to where I was. The next few days/weeks I need to work through a lot but it is nothing I have not done before. There are of course going to be ups and downs along the way but you have all helped me so much get through the last 24 hours better than I would have been able to on my own ...so again - thank you 💖💖💖

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

So glad you’re feeling better @Zoe7

One day at a time 💜

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Not going as planned this evening @Eve7 but will try again for sleep soon.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

You right @Zoe7 - the thoughts in our heads are one thing - the spoken word is entirely another.

In most aspects of my life I am very open - but I do have privacies and I think everyone does - how we feel about sharing them is our business - I had an event with a psychologist a few years ago - the last session I had with her actually. I eventually felt I said too much and felt really bad about it until I got it out of my system with a good cry. I realise it was not a good fit - other people might have got on really well with her. Sometimes I am sure I am not a good patient - not easy to get on with - and that's fine with me.

I do get how things panned out for you though.

About your colleague - ah - I hear you - she feels not-included but doesn't help anyone including herself - that is hard to manage and not your job most likely - but she's there - right - and you have to deal with her. Managing your own class is enough - some people mix in well - other people don't. She must make your days look a little intimidating for you at times. I don't know what to suggest - I was an office worker mostly and kept to my own desk and didn't have to share my work. When I taught mostly it was one-on-one or in CRE - I was the only teacher so team issues haven't been high on my list.

But I understand - I will be thinking of you tomorrow when you go back to work

Owlunar

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

I am not intimidated by her at all @Owlunar just frustrated. We have always had a pretty good team - shared things and held each other up but she is not a team player. It is a very different feel to the team this year - a lot of solo workers so it is going to be a hard year. I will just need to stick to my beautiful kids and enjoy their company.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Frustrated of course @Zoe7 - that's a better word

Enjoy your kids - that's the best plan -

All the best

Owlunar

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

So pleased you were starting to feel stronger yesterday @Zoe7 🙂

I'm sorry that it seemed you werre struggling to get to sleep last night? I hope you managed to, and also that going back to work today works out well for you, being with the kids and having some distraction and relief from your painful thoughts.

I can really empathise with the difficulty and pain of rehashing your history with a new psych. I hope you can settle in quickly with her and that the triggers subside.

Sending hugs 💚

In response to: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

@Zoe7 I only just found this post.

I just want to say how impressed I am that you shut down that conversation straight away. Firmly but not rudely.

That itself is a huge step. In the past I don't believe you could do this. So huge progress has been made. Please think of this when you struggle.

Sending you gentle hugs, my good friend. 💜

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