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Want to forget TW

Want to forget TW

Sometimes we can be enjoying the simplest and nicest of things and we are reminded of our past. For me that came yesterday. I was lucky enough to be attending a concert - something on it's own that would have been tricky for me in the past but it was a Christmas present and I was actually looking forward to it. It was a beautiful day and we had found a great position to set up for the day and evening. About half way through the day I had someone tap me on the shoulder - it was actually a nice surprise as it was someone I knew but had not seen in a few years. I knew his Mum - she both taught me and also was in the same sporting club many years later, and I taught his daughter. His Mum passed away a several years ago and we stayed in contact for a while afterwards. This is a person I actually like - he has been through some tough times and I think we connected on that level as well previously.

The conversation was lovely and we were all laughing together (in such a lovely way that I have not laughed for a long time) then out of the blue he brought up someone I absolutely detest. I don't know where it came from as this person is older than both of us but I suppose I should not be surprised as we all grew up in similar circles. He tried to continue the conversation but I could not help but say just how I felt about this person and could we change the subject. My sister was also there and to begin with she was going to have a go at me for being so direct but I think she then cottoned on to just how uncomfortable I was feeling and maybe knew why. This person was not one of those that had abused me for so long as a child but he was no doubt aware of it as he made my life just as impossible when he was around. I was just a kid but that did not stop the comments and implications directed towards me. I was just as scared of this person as the boys involved.

I had just the previous day spoke to my psych about leaving things in the past and then something like this happens. We had talked about what I do when triggered but this was an exception circumstance. I cannot generally hide the pain when it is so bad - I felt so sick at the time. I know my sister picked up on it but my old acquaintance was drinking a bit so really did not ...I am actually grateful for that.

Last night was a really hard night once I got home. To make it worse - I have been sick today and had to come home even before the day started at work - so there have been a lot of tears, a lot of sleeping and a lot of thoughts swimming around. I am having tomorrow off as well - whether I am well enough to be there or not physically, I know I am mentally not. This has been a massive hit and I can feel the effects both physically and mentally. I know it will pass in time but I feel that so much has been happening over the last year or so that my cup is empty.

From here I am unsure 'where to next'. I can feel the world closing in around me - yesterday is probably a culmination of so different emotions, so much grief, so much loss and so much to keep wading through. The beginning of this was 2 weeks ago when I saw a new pdoc and had to go through so much in such a small space of time. I felt okay in the moment doing so but it is always afterwards that it hits. My psych acknowledged this and just how hard it would have been ...I went straight back to work after the pdoc appointment and my psych has no idea how I had gotten the strength to do so - I don't either because it was incredibly hard ...but like most things - I push it away and try not to deal with it ...the result is I am where I am now - triggered massively by what happened yesterday, finding my head all over the place and wondering how I am going to find that place I was once at. ...it will be okay but a little extra support right now would help.

248 replies

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In response to: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Owlunar,

Thank you for your kind words. I hope you had a lovely Easter too. May I ask if you daughter visited you for Easter? It was very nice of you to have a couple of chocolate bunnies for her and her husband.

I hope you are well and the week ahead is a good one for you.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

In response to: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Zoe7,

Would I be right in thinking you are on holidays now? I hope Easter was good to you and you and your fur babies are all putting up your feet and spending the break doing whatever brings you joy.

I feel like the days off when so fast - am secretly glad it is a short work week, I'm tired already lol.

Warm wishes my friend.

FloatingFeather

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Yes on holidays @FloatingFeather Resting a lot at present. I went outside earlier to dig a little in the garden and my hands, back and body could not cope - so many aches and pains - so that is a job that I either have to do a few minutes at a time or wait until I have recovered a bit more.

Having lots of snuggle time with my fur babies and very much enjoying that.

I hear you about the break - the last few days have gone very quickly but I have been doing some work (pacing myself) and will continue to do a little each day rather than leaving it for big chunks of the day. I cannot sit long to work as my back is still not good so doing a little at a time it is.

Did you have a good easter?

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

It's good that you are pacing yourself @Zoe7. It reminds me of the hare and the tortoise story - I always thought the tortoise was so smart in pacing themselves and conserving their energy! I hope the aches and pains ease up for you. Hopefully the downtime will include plenty of rest and fur baby cuddles. I'm sure your fur babies are two happy little peas in the pod when you are on a break!

Easter was good thanks - visited a few family members and enjoyed that feeling of not being rushed or having to look at the clock because I needed to be somewhere. Did you have a good Easter?

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @FloatingFeather I did have a good Easter. My crazy Dad came out in a full ventilation face mask ....because I had had COVID a couple of weeks ago ...it was hilarious. I did not stay at my parents' for long though as I have still been quite tired. The unfortunately yesterday I had a migraine. It came on pretty quickly whilst I was out shopping so I didn't get everything done ...finished it today. I still do not feel great but much better than I was yesterday. It has rained most of today so I have had lots of rest and fur baby cuddles ...and yes they love me being home and getting so much attention (and of course I conversely love the cuddles).

I am so glad you had a relaxing Easter yourself. You certainly deserved the break and for it to be all done in your own time.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Thanks @FloatingFeather

Yes - my daughter and her husband visited me on Saturday and we exchanged chocolate goodies - I still have my big Easter Egg - I ate all the little ones on Easter Day which was cold and gloomy - the coldest Easter Sunday in Melbourne for 80 years - which was a few moments before my time.

It was really good catching up - and I did not ask her about her health - she is so touchy about so much - I think that's her health - she is in a lot of pain.

When I went through similar back-pain apparently it was my medication that made me grumpy - according to her - so - now she is taking the same medication as I did then - I have to have more understanding and patience and keep my mouth shut on the subject. Of course - I am concerned about her health and why not? Very concerned - she has other health issues as well - the back problems are from my side of the family - the others from her Dad's - such a lot for her to face.

I always have something happening - my life is interesting - another project cropped up and I dealt successfully with that - it feels good that I have - it has been on my mind for some time. So onto the next thing. How dull life would be without something to send emails or make phone calls about.

I hope you are well and I am sending my best wishes

Owlunar

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

@Owlunar @FloatingFeather @Eve7 I have had a big day already today. I have finally dug up my front path so I can lay the new pavers. It has been super hard on my back but am resting now before I clean up later. My sister's partner lent me his jackhammer so it made it easier - still took several hours but I needed lots of rest in between. I am going to have a nice long bubble bath later and settle in front of the tv with Tobes for the rest of the day. My neighbour has finally finished breaking up the path between our houses to find a pipe so the house has stopped vibrating ...and Tobes has stopped barking at the noise ...so we can both relax now. How are you all going today?

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

You made me laugh when you said your dad had a ventilation mask on when he saw you @Zoe7 - I guess one can never be to careful! Your dad sounds like a bit of a character. I'm glad that you had a good Easter but I do hope you are still taking things easy and getting plenty of rest.

I think it's amazing that you have dug up your path - you really are inspiring to me! A jack hammer sounds like it would really be helpful but I would imagine they would be pretty heavy and the vibration would go through a person like a dentist's drill. Definitely sounds like you have earned an afternoon of TV and a lovely bubble bath. Good also that your neighbour has put down their tools so you and the beautiful Tobes can really relax.

All going well for me thanks but my little one (not that little I guess, he's 12 next week) is pretty bored because he is on school holidays and mum can't hang out until the work day is over .... at least not to long to go now.

Hope your weekend is a great one and the paving goes well (but please pace yourself).

FloatingFeather ❤️

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Owlunar,

I am glad to read you had a good catch up with your daughter and her husband. The Easter eggs you received sound pretty good too! I heard on the news that it was really cold in Melbourne on Easter Sunday - I didn't realise that it was the coldest day in 80 years! Hope things have warmed up in Melbourne since.

I also hope your daughter is okay - it seems like she has a bit to deal with in terms of her physical health.

It sounds like you did really well successfully dealing with the project that cropped up. It always feels good to complete something that has been niggling on your mind for a while. I agree, life would be dull without projects to do!

I hope you are well too and life is treating you kindly.

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Dad and I have a similar sense of humour @FloatingFeather - much to my Mum and sister's eyebrows raised at times. Last year at school, on a very hot day, I asked if we could do our meeting at the beach - the Principal of course said unfortunately no ...so I set up a towel and umbrella in the middle of the room 😁

I have finished for the day - all cleaned up and ready to tackle the next bit tomorrow. I was not going to do the rest of the front paths along the front of the house but I can have the jackhammer for a couple more days now so I will try to get it all done over the weekend. The jackhammer is not too bad - it is heavy but has 2 handles which makes it easier than some. My arms are certainly in need of a transplant but I should get feeling back in them soon LOL

My neighbour has finished for the day and won't be back until tomorrow afternoon so I have some respite from the noise for a bit - great timing as I am buggered and definitely need that bath and rest.

Isn't it amazing how the kids look forward to the holidays but then are bored when they get here - maybe you should write him a list of things that need doing around the house and tell him that will pass the time lol

Sending you a big hug and hoping your weekend is relaxing 💖

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