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Want to forget TW

Want to forget TW

Sometimes we can be enjoying the simplest and nicest of things and we are reminded of our past. For me that came yesterday. I was lucky enough to be attending a concert - something on it's own that would have been tricky for me in the past but it was a Christmas present and I was actually looking forward to it. It was a beautiful day and we had found a great position to set up for the day and evening. About half way through the day I had someone tap me on the shoulder - it was actually a nice surprise as it was someone I knew but had not seen in a few years. I knew his Mum - she both taught me and also was in the same sporting club many years later, and I taught his daughter. His Mum passed away a several years ago and we stayed in contact for a while afterwards. This is a person I actually like - he has been through some tough times and I think we connected on that level as well previously.

The conversation was lovely and we were all laughing together (in such a lovely way that I have not laughed for a long time) then out of the blue he brought up someone I absolutely detest. I don't know where it came from as this person is older than both of us but I suppose I should not be surprised as we all grew up in similar circles. He tried to continue the conversation but I could not help but say just how I felt about this person and could we change the subject. My sister was also there and to begin with she was going to have a go at me for being so direct but I think she then cottoned on to just how uncomfortable I was feeling and maybe knew why. This person was not one of those that had abused me for so long as a child but he was no doubt aware of it as he made my life just as impossible when he was around. I was just a kid but that did not stop the comments and implications directed towards me. I was just as scared of this person as the boys involved.

I had just the previous day spoke to my psych about leaving things in the past and then something like this happens. We had talked about what I do when triggered but this was an exception circumstance. I cannot generally hide the pain when it is so bad - I felt so sick at the time. I know my sister picked up on it but my old acquaintance was drinking a bit so really did not ...I am actually grateful for that.

Last night was a really hard night once I got home. To make it worse - I have been sick today and had to come home even before the day started at work - so there have been a lot of tears, a lot of sleeping and a lot of thoughts swimming around. I am having tomorrow off as well - whether I am well enough to be there or not physically, I know I am mentally not. This has been a massive hit and I can feel the effects both physically and mentally. I know it will pass in time but I feel that so much has been happening over the last year or so that my cup is empty.

From here I am unsure 'where to next'. I can feel the world closing in around me - yesterday is probably a culmination of so different emotions, so much grief, so much loss and so much to keep wading through. The beginning of this was 2 weeks ago when I saw a new pdoc and had to go through so much in such a small space of time. I felt okay in the moment doing so but it is always afterwards that it hits. My psych acknowledged this and just how hard it would have been ...I went straight back to work after the pdoc appointment and my psych has no idea how I had gotten the strength to do so - I don't either because it was incredibly hard ...but like most things - I push it away and try not to deal with it ...the result is I am where I am now - triggered massively by what happened yesterday, finding my head all over the place and wondering how I am going to find that place I was once at. ...it will be okay but a little extra support right now would help.

248 replies

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In response to: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Your post gave me a good laugh @Zoe7 - I think I have a similar sense of humour to you lol. I really love the idea of setting up the beach umbrella and towel in the middle of the classroom - I'm sure your kids loved that!

Hopefully the feelings come back in your arms very soon - the jack hammer sounds handy but I don't think I would be very confident or useful with one. It does sounds like you have done a great job mastering it though.

You hit the nail on the head when you said how they kids complain about how bored they are in the holidays despite carrying on about them for the last few weeks. I think giving him a list of things is do is a great idea - no doubt he will find a hundred things he can do then to avoid the list lol! Sounds like a great plan to me!

Sending a big hug back - hope the weekend is a great one for you 💖

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

It was actually in the middle of our staff meeting @FloatingFeather A teacher thought someone else had done it to stir me up but I eventually owned up to it lol It was quite funny though.

Yes I can imagine your boy would find he was not bored anymore if you gave him things to do lol

The bath really helped - both my back and arms. I no longer need a transplant but will be taking it easy for the rest of the day/evening. I have run out of pain relief so it is not great but I have an appointment Monday. I have to get a few things checked ...don't want to worry too much until I see the GP but I have been having a lot of stomach pain for weeks now and lost a lot of weight ...which is a bit of a concern but I know my GP will cover all bases and hopefully it is nothing.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Zoe7 @FloatingFeather

So much has been going on Zoe - wow - you dad with his ventilation mask made me laugh - I hope he took it off before it was time to eat. I'm still giggling a bit.

And what a lot of hard work and noise with a jack-hammer and a sledgehammer going full blast at the same time - at least that cut down on the noise pollution - or at least the time of it - and if someone is banging concrete next door why not join in with the jack-hammer - and of course - the next think is replacing the concrete next door and you have the pavers to lay - and all of this is too much like hard work - I am past it all now.

So - it is good you don't need your arms transplanted after a bath and a rest.

And giving kids a list of things to do if they are bored - yep - I am sure anyone given such a list would find plenty of things they would rather do that what was on the list. What a great cure for juvenile boredom - yes -

My brother and I had an interesting morning in the school holidays building a cubby for our little sister - in the afternoon our mum put her down for her nap and had one herself I think - and there is no fun in a completed cubby once all the bickies have been eaten - my brother and I went off and got into mischief actually - and luckily no one ever found out. We just went and played in a nearby gorge - a forbidden area and sooooooooo attractive at the time - it's a park now - one day I might just take myself down memory lane and go back there.

I'm sorry about the migraine Zoe - they really take it out of us - I hope you are recovered now - and it hasn't been stirred up by all the noisy stuff happening.

And @FloatingFeather - my daughter does have a lot to deal with - and maybe she is scared and won't admit it - she has been through a lot over the last few years - she doesn't want to think about it much - that's what I figure - I can't shut my mind off such things - I need to know everything - that's where we differ - I've never tried to change her

It's been a lovely day in Melbourne - rain forecast for the weekend so what's different?

We have a joke in Melbourne - what do we call the day of beautiful weather that arrives after a wet weekend? - answer - Monday.

All the best

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hope all goes well at the GP @Zoe7 - I think it's wise to try and not worry about things too if you can (easier said then done sometimes, I know). I use to worry about the future a lot and now I try to just deal with the day at hand and put anything else to the back burner.

Sounds like you have a really good and thorough GP - sending lots of positive thoughts and wishes that it turns out to be nothing my friend.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

I understand what you mean @Owlunar about how we all differ around wanting to know things - some people want to know everything and other people don't. I guess we all just cope differently.

I love your sense of humour - it's right up my alley! Your weather joke is great and really gave me a laugh 🙂

I hope you have a lovely weekend and I look forward to chatting with you next week.

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

I have been out to do the shopping I needed for the fairy treehouse for the kids at school. I have nearly everything now to get it set up - have to make a couple of things but will wait to do those on a rainy day (which we are expecting in the coming week). Also broken up the tiles on one side of the path - just need to break up the first layer of concrete under them ...which shouldn't take too long. Then I can do the other side of the path tomorrow.

I loved the story of your brother and you building the treehouse, eating all the biscuits and then 'getting up to mischief'. It certainly was a different time then. We used to do the same - would leave at sunset and would not get home until it was time to eat.

Settling in now for a couple of hours to watch the footy and give my back a rest @Owlunar I hope your day is going okay 💖

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

I am keeping busy (when am I not though hey lol) and that is keeping my mind occupied also @FloatingFeather Hopefully it is just a flare up of my already existing conditions but the weight loss is a concern. My GP is amazing so I am sure we will get to the bottom of it all quickly.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Zoe7

That pavement cracking, crushing and hopefully eventually deleted sounds like too much hard work - there is a lot of cracked pavement around here - and when I had carpet laid in the lounge a few months ago those cracks are in the slab this duplex is built on - so in the future I might have the owners fixing all this and - like - this would be a total crimp in my life - so long may it all wait.

I am glad you are resting up with your furry and fishy family today. I certainly am. Itsa nother gloomy Saturday - enough already - I have another story attached to the cubby house tree.

The cubby was under the tree in the back yard - there were a lot of buildings on the block because it was the police station - there was one tree - a prunus - in the summer the morning glory would climb high into the branches - I thought no one would know where I was when I would take a book to read and sit high in the branches.

Over the years the branch I sat on curved to suit my comfort - early on a thrush nested near me and - of course - it would have been a mating pair - I fed them - they learned to trust me.

Then one great moment in my life - the eggs had hatched - the parent bird moved her wings aside and I could see the chicks - with their big beaks, closed eyes and featherless bodies. They all started to chirp - wow - that a mother bird actually actively let me see her babies has stay with me all these years. I have never forgotten and have a warm feeling to this day when I think of it,

I love it that you are making a fairy tree house for your kids - that is wonderful - is there a place for a bird trusting a human so much they showed her the babies. Just an idea.

Enjoy the footy - I hope your team wins.

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Had to give up on the concrete breaking @Owlunar ...just too sore and tired. Unfortunately the rain has come too so it might not be until Monday I can do some more ...then I need to take the jackhammer back to my sister's partner. I won't get everything done I wanted to but my body just cannot take it for long at present.

I love your tree and bird story. What a privilege to be part of seeing those little birds come into the world ...and so rare a wild bird would allow that. You certainly must have spent a lot of time in that tree for it to be so trusting of you. What a wonderful experience and memory.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Just came past your original post from a month or so ago @Zoe7

I did hope you're travelling along okay these days

My best to you

Hams
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