Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

@MIFSAsupport Thanks for your response. Can you please define care taking and care giving in the fashion you describes?

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@MIFSAsupport wrote:

@CARING4CARERS

The carer or support role is a balancing act between "care giving" and "care taking"

The desire to help someone, especially those close to us, is just human nature. Sometimes, this act of kindness can backfire on us. Are we enabling or empowering? care taking or care giving? Are we lending a hand to help people accomplish things they could not do by themselves.

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@Shaz51

People with a mental illness are rarely totally unwell all of the time, totally out of touch. There are times when thoughts and behaviours are more accessible to rational processes. Grab this opportunity, do a boudaries plan together and also plan what happens when the boudaries are not working and when they are working.

In a caring role, you may feel you are going round and round in a constant pattern which, ironically, prevents the development of the very behaviours which you want to see?

@Mama_Penguin hello there. I see a lot of carer in my work taking on too much responsibility in there caring role, and move into rescuer mode. Just food for thought.

Yes @MIFSAsupport, just lately i have been getting the feeling if i may be babying my hubby`s Mi too much

@CARING4CARERS@Murphy my first time too. What a team.

@Shaz51

The real question for carers is to ask whether their personal response comes about through feeling guilty, feeling responsible for, feeling sorry for, doubting their loved one's capacity to deal with things for themselves, fearing self harm or suicide, or some, or all of these.

If this is so, the carer's response isn’t about the person being cared for at all. It is about their caring role

Welcome to conversation @Murphy, join whenever you want.

@MIFSAsupport we've got a few people asking about how boundaries can also cause pressure.

@Mama_Penguin, for instance, is having difficulties at work. Though she's been open about her limits/boundaries, it seems that her work is creating pressure. Also @CARING4CARERS has spoken about the challenges of keeping space in decision-making, which is hard to keep, when their loved one is anxious. It sounds like a difficult balancing act.

How can you maintain boundaries in intances like these, when other people place pressure on you to potentially break boundaries?

Hello @Mama_Penguin, about work , we are self employed because of hubby`s MI and I have cancelled jobs or had to change the day because of his Mi and sometimes i think the people we work for will say , sorry don`t come back , so i know how you feel