Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

CherryBombSenior Contributor21 Oct 2016, 4:34 pm AEDT

Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

Setting Boundaries

As carers we often hear and talk about the need to establish boundaries in our relationships. Boundaries can help keep relationships healthy. In fact, they are vital in relationships as they can help us feel empowered, respected and safe.

But how exactly do we maintain boundaries? How do we know what an appropriate boundary is? And more importantly, what can and what should we do when our boundaries have been crossed?

Join us Tuesday, November 22nd from 7 - 9 (AEDT) for some practical strategies and advice on setting boundaries. We'll be joined by Mental Illness Fellowship South Australia (MIFSA).

Two things you can do now

1) Register as a Forum member to participate on the night

2) Hit the 'Like' button below to receive an email reminder on the night

3) Can't make the session? Leave a question below.

86 replies

41 - 50 of 86

1...4 5 6...9

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

MurphyCasual Contributor22 Nov 2016, 7:35 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

Have you found this strategy to work!

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor22 Nov 2016, 7:37 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

ah ha @MIFSAsupport, so what do i do

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

MurphyCasual Contributor22 Nov 2016, 7:38 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

Apologies, I was accidentally bumped when typing. My question was have you found that writing agreed boundaries to be a strategy that works? Thank you in advance

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

MIFSAsupportSenior Contributor22 Nov 2016, 7:39 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

@CARING4CARERS the way we describe the difference between care giving and care taking is....

When the person you care for is unwell and perhaps in crisis, you will need to step in and be the care taker. For exmaple take some of their responsibilties away for a time, like paying bills etc. As your loved one is on the road to recovery we need to give back some of the responsibity to them, that is care giving. Often we get stuck in the role of care taking and do thing that perhap our loved one could be doing for themself.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

MIFSAsupportSenior Contributor22 Nov 2016, 7:41 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

@Murphy yes I have found this work however it is an indiviual journey for all of us. What works for some does't for others. I have worked with carers that have set budaries that I would never contemplate doing.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor22 Nov 2016, 7:42 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

that is sooo true @MIFSAsupport, and we end up doing everything like me

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

MurphyCasual Contributor22 Nov 2016, 7:43 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

Thank you for defining the difference.......Such a hard road.......and when does it become enabling?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

CARING4CARERSContributor22 Nov 2016, 7:43 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

@MIFSAsupport Great job you're doing for a first timer!

What is a boundaries plan? What would it include? What kind of things would you say to your loved one to initiate one of these "hey, let's talk about our boundaries, yours and mine" might be a bit confronting...

@MIFSAsupport wrote:
@Shaz51
People with a mental illness are rarely totally unwell all of the time, totally out of touch. There are times when thoughts and behaviours are more accessible to rational processes. Grab this opportunity, do a boudaries plan together and also plan what happens when the boudaries are not working and when they are working.
In a caring role, you may feel you are going round and round in a constant pattern which, ironically, prevents the development of the very behaviours which you want to see?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

CherryBombSenior Contributor22 Nov 2016, 7:46 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

Great questions @Murphy @CARING4CARERS - what is the boundary plan, and how do you know when caring becomes enabling? Looking forward to your answers @MIFSAsupport!

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

MIFSAsupportSenior Contributor22 Nov 2016, 7:47 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

@Murphy yes, there is a fine line between empowering and enabling. saying things like

I'm going to give him another chance." "I want to give him the benefit of the doubt." The we are stuck again.

41 - 50 of 86

1...4 5 6...9