Not Coping

Hi @Jynx

Thank you for that. I guess so maybe I am getting better and I’m just not noticing it or just focusing on the bad days and not looking at the days that are okay. It definitely is up and down, but seems to be a lot of downs then ups. I just wish things could go my way and be happy.

I needed to hear that today @Jynx. Well for the last 2 weeks!

Are the nights harder @Birdofparadise8 because you maybe don’t have anything to distract you

You're welcome @Birdofparadise8 - it helps sometimes that human beings are wired for survival. We are much better at noticing the bad than we are at noticing the good. It does sometimes take a fair chunk of effort to consciously focus on the good - which is why things like gratitude journals are such a helpful tool.

And also, I don't think anyone can ever be just... happy all the time. Being sad, angry, overwhelmed, upset...they're all part of the package just as much as being joyous, excited, content, or happy.

Happiness isn't something you find one day, it's something you can choose to create - and it can feel very elusive, but sometimes things like relief, or looking forward to something, or being comfy and cosy - they count as happiness, even in small amounts 💜

Yeah I think so I’m not as busy like during the day so there is more time to ruminate.

I just couldn’t seem to stop crying today in my car on my way home I just felt all my emotions come over me at once and I just don’t know how to process them @Captain24

@creative_writer you're so right. Some days are harder than others. Here sending hugs too, to you both @Birdofparadise8 💜

Thank you @creative_writer tonight’s just a bad night.

Hey @Jynx maybe I should have a go at some gratitude journaling it sounds like a hard thing though to think of what I am grateful for.

Yeah I know you can be happy all the time, but it would be nice to have some small bits of happiness just sometimes I don’t seem to get that. Only seems to be sadness, worthlessness, hopelessness and guilt I’m feeling.

I’m not even really looking forward to Christmas next week I couldn’t care less to be celebrating it or not. I used to love it and it’s makes me feel even worse that I’m not looking forward.

Mmm those are some pretty overwhelming feelings @Birdofparadise8 and difficult to see any light beyond it. Gratitude journalling is totally helpful but it absolutely takes time to get used to, and can be super challenging at first. Like it's fully okay if at first it's just 'I'm grateful that I was able to brush my teeth today' or 'I'm grateful that I chose to call a helpline' or 'I'm grateful for having my comfort tv show to help me get through a rough night'. No need to be grandiose, and it's also okay if it's really hard to find even one thing to be grateful for on a given day. You can always try again tomorrow 😉

Trust too, that you're not alone in not looking forward to the holiday period. It's actually not uncommon for it to be a really traumatising time for folks - not everyone fits into the stereotype. I hope you can find a way to do something lowkey or super chill, and not put pressure on yourself to celebrate just cos that's what is expected.

I can’t give any words of wisdom @Birdofparadise8. way too far down for that. But I know I never look forward to Christmas (working in retail was the cause of that!) but usually the day is pretty good.

Im heading off to bed to keep safe.

Have a good night

Rest well @Captain24 glad you're keeping safe 💜