Not Coping

Hey @Birdofparadise8 ,

I'm here if you want to continue our game. I'm not sure if @Former-Member will mind. Have you been keeping tally of how many questions?

@Birdofparadise8 , oh, and of course I'm also here for a chat 🙂

Thank you @tyme

Not I haven’t kept tally. Why does life have to suck so much I do everything to feel better and I just end up feeling the same or worse. I just need all this to stop.

I hear you on that @Birdofparadise8 .

I think I used to use all my energy on trying to feel better that I ended up feeling worse. It's more that I stopped trying to 'get rid' of the negative, and accept it, that it eventually disappeared. I'm not sure I'm explaining it right.

All my life, I thought I had to get rid of the 'bad' stuff. But through therapy, I learnt that this is not the case - rather, it's about learning to sit in the space of discomfort because it'll eventually shift.

What did you get up to today anyway?

Sending you lots of understanding hugs @Birdofparadise8 ❤

Sometimes it does feel like it is always going bad and to look for a positive through these times are hard

Sitting with you and keep on keeping on with me and @tyme

That sounds interesting but discomfort isn’t fun. @tyme

I have made some cupcakes, had a chat to my auntie and wrote a letter for my cousin to discuss about the boundaries and how I feel. Besides that I haven’t done much I’m not bothered to do anything really.

I definitely feel like I’m going backwards. I definitely wasn’t suicidal or self harm three months ago and that all I can think about and the thoughts just don’t stop and make me even more worse. Thank you @Shaz51

I'm sorry you are feeling this way @Birdofparadise8 ,

Yes, sitting in discomfort is NOT fun, however, this skill actually makes a difference. I can't even name it or anything... so it's hard for me to even look into it.

I just it defies what we instinctively do with something unpleasant i.e. push it away.

Thank you the suicidal thoughts are terrible I just seem to get them out of my head like I try and push them away but that just makes it worse. I’ll ask my psych when I see him on Thursday about the discomfort. @tyme

Whenever I had these thoughts, my psychologist would work with me to 'get acquainted' with the discomfort. I hate this strategy.

So I'd sit there, and he would ask me questions:

1) where do you feel it?

2) how heavy is it?

3) what colour is it?

4) what texture is it?

etc.

I'd sit there and cringe - I didn't care what it looked like or what colour it was, I just wanted it GONE!

However, i just obliged and did what he said. After practicing this skill every week, I realised that the technique gave me distance between when I was feeling and reality.... I was no longer 'fused' with my emotion... and I learnt to sit with it.

Whatever this technique does, it seems to work - but requires practice...