Not Coping

By the way @Birdofparadise8 , no need to be sorry. I remember when I was a regular member on the forums, I was often reminded of my little slips. It's all part of the learning 🙂

@Birdofparadise8 - do you work every Sunday? I'll be here tomorrow evening 🙂

Yeah okay thank you @tyme

No not usually, but I got asked last week and and this weekend because so many people are calling in sick and I’m not going to say no to double time.

I work tomorrow too @Birdofparadise8. I’m kind of glad though. If I’m in a busy truck it will keep me distracted. I actually msg my boss to see if I was in or had taken

leave. He said bad news your in. I told him it’s probably for the best but the suicidal part of me thinks not. Bastard didn’t respond to that. Lol. I’m not sleeping well and the 4:30 alarm is going to be hell

For me, @Captain24 @Birdofparadise8 - work has always been my protective factor. I hate letting people down. So for me, no matter how 'unwell' I was, work kept me going.

And yes, penalty rates/double time - why not @Birdofparadise8 ?

As for you @Captain24 - you seem so well looked after everywhere! People must really admire and appreciate you.

Why is the suicidal part of you not so much is it the driving or something?

Work helps keep me distracted as well if it’s busy.

Thats going to suck getting up that early I wouldn’t cope @Captain24 what time do you finish work then if you start so earlier?

Do you have penalty rates depending on your shift @Captain24 ? Or is that part of the contract?

Yeah it helps stop the rumination because for me it’s worse when I’m at home or alone.

Exactly and I don’t have anything else to do. Well I could have been making a ginger bread house with some of my family, but I really didn’t want to if my cousin was going to be there as I just didn’t want it to be awkward between us so I thought it was best it I was there at all.

You doing much tomorrow then @tyme ?

Hey @creative_writer

Yeah same here. They are very much so I just wish they weren’t part of my life so much. Like I know they are just thoughts but it feels more then that if you get what I mean.

How are you tonight?

I’m in a really bad place right now @Birdofparadise8. Yesterday was the day from hell and today isn’t much better. That part of me doesn’t want to go to work and doesn’t want to face people.

I leave home at 5:30 and get back just before 8. Its about 40 minutes away.

Yeah @tyme Its double time on weekends and night shift. It’s all worked out though into a fortnightly salary.