Not Coping

No worries @Birdofparadise8 and @Captain24 ❤️ Honestly, sometimes it feels a little strange being a peer worker AND moderator. Thank you for understanding ❤️

Talking here helps and reading my book might distract me a bit.

Nice to here you don’t SH anymore. I just don’t see how I can stop. @Captain24

Yeah I hope so. @creative_writer

When I started seeing my nurse she would ask me every visit if I’d SH’d and I’d say yes. She was really good about it but I felt like I was letting my whole team down. All of them were working hard together for me. That’s what eventually helped. @Birdofparadise8 It was really hard.

The suicidal thoughts I find the hardest now. Actually last week I didn’t have them and my world looked like it had turned around. But I guess I was wrong. At the moment I feel like I don’t deserve it. I just have to understand that maybe this will be my life ongoing with bipolar

That’s great you have such a good support system and they helped you with the SH.

Im sorry about the suicidal thoughts though are they still going on for you today?

Im sure once you get on the right medication and other things the bipolar might lesson would that be correct? I don’t know a lot about bipolar sorry @Captain24

hey @Captain24 ❤️ Thank you for sharing this. It sounds like it's been a bit of a tough week. What have you been doing to get through it so far? ❤️

Recovery is not linear and it's not just one destination! Many of us might take a few steps forward, and another couple back. You've come so far from just a few months.

I know for me, my mental health will be an up and down journey for the rest of my life. SI will probably always be with me to differing degrees. And that's ok. It's taken a while for me to accept that and realise that and realise that a low period doesn't mean I'm back to my worst times. ❤️

Yes @Birdofparadise8 I have them right now and they are pretty strong.

It’s all good. I don’t know a lot about bipolar either. I’m learning as I go.

I’m slowly increasing one mood stabiliser depending on my weekly blood test results and decreasing the other. I have a GP appointment tomorrow so I’m going to ask if I can stay in last weeks dose but I think it has to come from the psychiatrist and I don’t see her for another 3 weeks. If I skip my anti anxiety/ antidepressant I go high. Maybe that’s an option! Lol

Thanks for sharing @Former-Member. It makes it feel more ‘normal’ I felt so positive last week. Hopefully this is a stumble.

I finished my block of work yesterday morning. I was so proud. I did all 5 shifts and 12.5 hrs. I can’t remember the last time I did that. Also I had great achievements. I spoke to strangers, chatted on the 2 way, actually spoke in the small meeting and in the large one.

I woke up feeling flat after my nap yesterday but spent the afternoon busy. Today I woke up worse but I’ve been flat out. Lawns done, housework done, most of the Christmas lights up, fruit soaking for the fruit cake and babysat pixie’s boyfriend.
Tomorrow will be busy too so it’s just the nights that I need to get through.

Sorry to hear that @Captain24 we can get through this together.

You have done so much that last few days you must be exhausted.

Yeah the nights are the hardest to get though.