Not Coping

@tyme I feel dead inside

I spoke to a nurse, okay.

How are you?

Oh, also I replied to your email yesterday. Did you get it?

I know, but the hard thing is I told my new psych that I need to develop trust with him to be able to be open about things that have happened and to let myself feel in the moment and not cover it up with a smile or laugh. He said "You don't need to trust me" I'm like WHAT yes I do. Like what @creative_writer

Hey @tyme

So good you're about on the forums 💚

Hey @creative_writer ,

Good to see you around. I've had a pretty chill day. I have some stuff to do which I haven't done yet, but I'm pretty relaxed. I had a nice pleasant sleep because the kids woke me up early - I got annoyed with them, but I love them at the same time. Kids are kids.

When do you finish uni? I mean your course??

Hey @Birdofparadise8 ,

I haven't checked the email yet. I'll will shortly. I'm glad you were able to speak to the nurse. That sounds like a start. Do they run activities on the weekdays there?

Yeah I know the feeling it's hard. Yes, I think there might be @creative_writer

I've never had true, meaningful friendships at school. I would only ever be able to hang out with some people if I gave them food, wouldn't talk, or only say so much, or if I would do XYZ for them. People would leave me out of class work, exclude me all the time, say awful things to me and a lot more.

Then the teachers wouldn't help, and the school psych told me to ignore the people being mean.

But how do you ignore 120 + people being mean to you for 13 years it's not that easy.

That could suggest some abandonment issues there. Also not being able to talk openly to my Mum and Dad wouldn't help as I didn't feel safe @creative_writer

There was some art stuff this morning, but I was working on my assignment @tyme

I don't know why I've been feeling so much worse this weekend. I haven't been able to stop crying. I feel so broken right now.

@Birdofparadise8, abandonment issues can arise from traumatic experiences, it can sort of lead to interdependency or extreme independence (that is where I ended up on the spectrum). The reality is, you don’t need anyone to complete you. You are not broken. But you do need good people in your life who will walk besides you

I just don't understand why he said I don't need to trust him. He said there is no judgment, but I still need a level of trust. Honestly, I feel like I'm opening up quicker than I have with my previous psychs.

This is what my psych does @creative_writer

Psych name counselling practice focuses on supporting individuals to integrate thoughts, feelings, relationships and behaviours.

I can't believe they would be texting during a session that is so bad @creative_writer

I hope you found a better psych after that.