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Something’s not right

Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor08 Nov 2022, 6:51 pm AEDT

Not Coping

Hey everyone how are you all?

@RiverSeal @Shaz51 @NatureLover @tyme @Former-Member @Eve7 @Former-Member @amber22 @Jynx @FloatingFeather

I'm not doing great at all today. I'm feeling down. I also keep beating myself up for everything and feel like I'm just failing. I need a break from everything. It's getting so hard that I don't know how to keep going anymore especially since I can't talk to anyone around me as they are leaving me or don't understand.

Hope you don’t mind me reaching out I just really need a chat and though I could come on here and vent and talk for a bit.

Thank you

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In response to: Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor22 Oct 2023, 5:27 pm AEDT

Re: Not Coping

I'm not sure what to say to him. I've never had to help someone through a breakup, and I've never had a relationship to compare to a breakup. I'm literally googling how to help a friend with a breakup. I don't know how helpful I'll be I'm such a mess myself, but I can't say that to him @creative_writer

I want to feel better, but I don't how to feel better. I've got a new psych, new meds, and more support, but I'm still feeling worse. I don't know why I'm struggling so much.

In response to: Not Coping

Blackbird11Senior Contributor22 Oct 2023, 5:31 pm AEDT

Re: Not Coping

You deserve to be here. You deserve to exist. You deserve to take up space in this sometimes hard but beautiful world @Birdofparadise8

In response to: Re: Not Coping

creative_writerSenior Contributor22 Oct 2023, 5:31 pm AEDT

Re: Not Coping

I’m wondering if there is something holding you back. Maybe my interpretation is incorrect, you can correct me if it is. You said you used to be bullied, I wonder if there are unhealed wounds putting a barrier between you and recovery.

You don’t even have to say much to him, even listening can be powerful by itself. It’s okay if you don’t have the words

In response to: Re: Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor22 Oct 2023, 5:32 pm AEDT

Re: Not Coping

Aww @Blackbird11 thank you.

In response to: Re: Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor22 Oct 2023, 5:34 pm AEDT

Re: Not Coping

You're 100% correct @creative_writer

I was bullied for about 13 years, so there is a lot of unresolved trauma there. I'm trying to work on that with my new psych.

In response to: Re: Not Coping

creative_writerSenior Contributor22 Oct 2023, 5:40 pm AEDT

Re: Not Coping

@Birdofparadise8, I think you need to work on re-defining yourself and re-authoring your story. It’s good to have supports around you to do that. While the supports can’t take the pain away and can’t do the work for you. They can help guide you. People can hold your hand while you make those changes.

I don’t know if being bullied left you with trust issues, therapy can help that. I’ve been trying to go from “better off alone” to “better off with the right people”

In response to: Re: Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor22 Oct 2023, 5:43 pm AEDT

Re: Not Coping

Yeah, I probably do. I've got a long journey ahead of me. I'm not sure how would I know if I have trust issues. I don't like being vulnerable in therapy, would that be it or not really.

That sounds like a nice play on words @creative_writer I really like that. Is it helping?

In response to: Re: Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor22 Oct 2023, 5:56 pm AEDT

Re: Not Coping

Hi @tyme

In response to: Re: Not Coping

tymeModerator22 Oct 2023, 6:01 pm AEDT

Re: Not Coping

Hey @Birdofparadise8 @creative_writer @Blackbird11 !

In response to: Re: Not Coping

creative_writerSenior Contributor22 Oct 2023, 6:01 pm AEDT

Re: Not Coping

@Birdofparadise8, that makes so much sense. When I first started therapy there were pressing issues buried deep inside me which I didn’t speak about because I didn’t trust, still don’t trust completely. Being vulnerable may be a sign that you are cautious in trusting. Maybe talking to your therapist about that will help, because trust is the core of therapy. Without trust you can’t progress far.

I’m slowly starting to trust. It’s hard. Like I hate being vulnerable too, and it’s sort of made me avoidant in relationships because I rather be alone and feel safe.

I am curious, I don’t know if I’m reading this wrong. I have gotten the impression from you that there might be anxiety around abandonment, is that correct to assume?

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.