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Something’s not right

Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor

Not Coping

Hey everyone how are you all?

@RiverSeal @Shaz51 @NatureLover @tyme @Former-Member @Eve7 @Former-Member @amber22 @Jynx @FloatingFeather

I'm not doing great at all today. I'm feeling down. I also keep beating myself up for everything and feel like I'm just failing. I need a break from everything. It's getting so hard that I don't know how to keep going anymore especially since I can't talk to anyone around me as they are leaving me or don't understand.

Hope you don’t mind me reaching out I just really need a chat and though I could come on here and vent and talk for a bit.

Thank you

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In response to: Not Coping

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

@tyme, I woke up early too, but I think it’s my body clock, I think I’m getting old. I’m going to bed early and waking up early.I am happy to hear today was relaxing for you.

I finish my course next year, still a while to go. I did part time last year, and I’ll be completing 6 units this year

In response to: Not Coping

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

@Birdofparadise8, opening up faster sounds like a good sign. We all need to learn to reframe the stories we tell ourselves, I’m only starting to do that now after my meds got adjusted. Before my meds were adjusted, I was too overwhelmed to make the progress I needed. It is a process though, a lot of work and therapy does pay off.

I probably could’ve reported her for that, but it never occurred to the early 20s me. That kind of behaviour infuriates me, because if she did it with me, she probably did it with other clients. That’s not fair for any clients

In response to: Re: Not Coping

tymeModerator

Re: Not Coping

Going part time is good. I used to only do one unit a semester @creative_writer . Although it sounds like a long time, time eventually flies.

I'm looking into doing a Grad Dip in change management now. I'm not sure of the workload though because I've got so many other things going on at the same time. But I really feel like I want to go back to study. I miss it.

As for sleep, the problem is I sleep late and I wake early! It's strange because according to the doctor, I 'should' be feeling tired all the time because my iron is so low... but I don't lol.

Our bodies are such weird things.. I'm sure you know what I mean 🙂

In response to: Re: Not Coping

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

@tyme, this year is the first time in a while since I’ve been considered a full time student. You get considered full time with 6 units, even though I’m still under loading. It looks like the course will take 3 instead of 2 years. You can always get info into the course, I know there are plenty of online and part time options available.

I feel tired all the time, yet I sleep enough and my last blood test was okay 😂. Probably the burn out from high level of emotions earlier this year. Some people do okay with little sleep, I am not one of them. I have had nights when I didn’t sleep or slept ridiculous 2hrs, but the high only lasted for so long, I burnt out eventually

In response to: Re: Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

Yeah, it is good. I feel he wants me to open up very quickly; I'm unsure if it's because of my risk. That could be contributing to it. I feel he would prefer me to sit there crying than to laugh. I just don't know how to do that. I hate crying in front of people it's like my worst fear of mine. I only cry in front of my parents when it's bad like how I had to tell them what I did. I just don't like feeling so vulnerable @creative_writer

Did she do it when you were quite young?

Did you have a med change recently?

In response to: Re: Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

What is the Grad Dip in @tyme? Sounds fun to go back to uni.

In response to: Re: Not Coping

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

@Birdofparadise8, I do believe it is best to be as authentic as you feel comfortable with in therapy. It’s okay to cry in front of him. It’s natural. It is a normal response to hurt after being bullied. It’s is not something that is okay to have to go through.

I was in my early 20s, it did cause me to shut down with MH professionals. I still can’t talk to my parents about why they think I shouldn’t trust MH professionals. I know I can’t trust everyone, but I don’t need to be reminded of all the reasons why. I did have a med dose upped, still on a relatively low dose, but it has made a difference. I rather me on more than experience a bad mixed depressive episode

In response to: Re: Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

It's just so hard. I don't know how I'm supposed to sit there and cry. I know it wasn't a good thing to go through, but I could tell you a million reasons why I feel like it is my fault that I had to be bullied for so long.

Oh that's not good @creative_writer. I can't remember if you talk to your parents much about MH.

In response to: Re: Not Coping

tymeModerator

Re: Not Coping

Grad Dip in Change Management @Birdofparadise8 . I'd study from home in my own time though and not go onsite.

I don't know yet those because I'm not sure if I have the time. I've got a lotta things happening. There's so many different things I am doing and want to do.... I feel I just keep going going going 🙂 Possibly making up for lost years when I was depressed. Who knows?

In response to: Re: Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

What is change management @tyme?

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