Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

Thank you @Former-Member

I just had a week away foor the Wedding of my niece. It was good although there were responsibilities and triggers and it certainly wasnt "all about me". I am planning a week away in Jan and would do the weekends away etc ... but I am still in a 24/7 caring role for my son, so have to plan well ahead. At this stage I am happier for him to have weekends away which he is starting to do and then I have the house to myself.

I am also stretched financially as my son wont engage with Centrelink so I have to support him on my DSP for one. I have been absorbing it for over 2 years now .. but getting deeper in debt.

Yes a lot of my current issues stem more from the marriage than my "deprived childhood". I was never the one to want pity, but I did get a situation that robbed me of most things that were precious. I dont blame my son but he also did need a reality check. There were certainly enough other stressors and we werent arguing or anything it was just that usually I can keep balanced and rational when discussing men's rights issues, though this youtube was a bit beyond men's rights. I have always believed in men's as well as women's rights.

There was also the stressor of the beer garden/night shift posts and feeling let down and loss of trust in a poster. So I guess that was trigger No 7.

My son has gone for an overnight and doing a role in King Lear tomorrow. I have cancelled but the president sent a message that there will be lots for me to do next year. She is an ex tertiary level lit and drama teacher, so I think she has a fairly reasonale grasp of the situation with my son. He was really isolated when he started 4 years ago ... so I have things I have set up for my future. I have 24 hours of quiet .. which will be good.

But I have made a ridiculous scene in my local area ... near my local shops ... so there may be fall out .. though some people are also being nice about it.

Ha ha @Former-Member Still see the funny side of all the errors of predictive text.

Thanks I will try and "be cool"

I just reread your beautiful post @Former-Member. Thank you for the lovely gentle caring quality in it, helped me contact my inner smile. I will go back to doing those things again. I have been trying to do a lot of those type of things in a way to show my son that life is worth living .. so maybe he thinks I am just having a jolly good time and he is stewing over the situation he has put himself in. I also need to be me more and not be a teenage male mate for my son ... I am going into my inner core .... withdrawing quietly ... maybe thats what he needs too. Then we can both come out again more individuated and stronger.

I loved all the stories of your friends dealing with their issues .. the camping ... the trip to Darwin ... I am good at the shoestring type activities. Some students thought I should go and work the cruises ... and it has been a thought .. not right for now .. my son would need to be fine to leave for long periods ... it is not impossible .. I would have to get into a good head space about presenting my appearance ..... and I am still too ambivalent ... to do the posy rosy ... but it was lovely of you to suggest all those positive images.

I know you are going through hell with your girl ... and your partner's illness. We all carry a lot.

I was anxious my son would not come home... but he did ... so that is good.

@Appleblossom - hello my dear friend,

We do have so much in common, and yes my heart is with you. I can so relate. And I will always be there for you if you should ever need me.

I understand your situation more now regarding your son. Did he suffer a breakdown at some stage? Does your sons girlfriend offer any support for your son? Being a carer doesn't allow us much levway to spread our wings. And the stress can at times be overwhelming, I do understand.

I am in the same boat with my daughter - I can't go away for any length of time either yet as she is unstable. Although she works part time (when she keeps a job), and stays with the controlling abusive boyfriend half of the other time when he deems he wants her there :face_with_rolling_eyes:; - she could still become undone at any time and go off the rails so we need to be there 24/7 for her. So I do understand your dilemma. It's when we get that day or two free making the most of that time to unwind can be liberating offering much needed balance - I hope you have enjoyed your free time this weekend 😊

I could really see you entertaining on cruises - maybe something to think about in the future. Can you forsee any likihood of your son marrying or living with his girlfriend in the future and being less dependent on you?

I'm glad you liked the stories of my friends. I have met really interesting people along my journey. I think I could honestly write a book about it sometimes - especially some of the characters I met when I lived in the bush. It would make your hair curl lol 😱😃. They were real survivors but not immune to depression and heartache.

So glad to read your son came home safe and well. Yes I have gone through hell with my daughter - she still makes me cry when I see her sometimes lye up in her room all day with raging mood swings - waiting to be used and controlled by the bidding of her so called boyfriend. Wondering where did I go wrong? - trying to understand why she allows it. I deal with it a day at time hoping against the odds that she will turn her life around and meet someone half decent who will treat her properly. And for her to be respectful and caring....against the odds. I can't give up on that dream. Yes, I do believe in miracles as it would take one. But meanwhile I have to accept that is the way it is for now and make the most of it.

Yes we do carry alot, but we can help each other carry the load. Thinking of you @Appleblossom and sending you lots of love 💕

Oh, I also met to add that I wholeheartedly agree with @Former-Member. Those who do better do receive more support. That's the truth. But heck - imagine the inner strength nurtured by those who come through without much help against the odds. Now that's one hell of a survivor - a true inspiration and a revelation that although when we think we are all alone love is still there in the midst 🌈

@Appleblossom ,

Massive hugs. I have appreciated yourself and your experience and wisdown a number of times here. I hear that you are suffering and I hear that it is a world uncaring or misguided that has contributed. I feel your emotional response is valid. But I do so hope there can be a way to vent and channel this frustration and hurt without physical hurt to yourself.

Every contribution you make to care is valuable. I hope one day you can help write a new section on psychosis. But maybe I am misunderstanding your words and inference.

Just want you to know I am here. x

Thank you @Sehnsucht @Former-Member @Former-Member @Former-Member @Former-Member

I called the CAT team last night and tried to talk out a couple of parenting things ... He told me they cant get inolved in "counselling" even though may agree with my approach as they only do CRISES. He was good to talk to and informed me that I had been officially sectioned ... which nobody had told me on Tuesday, as I was totally compliant, but I wont get my knickers in a knot about trifles. They also released me after a couple of hours so I am officially "free"...

The 2nd neighbour spoke to me .. they are being nice.

I do think that there needs to be a lot of new thinking around psychosis @Sehnsucht Yes when people are seriously agitated they are hard to talk with. I actually mentioned it in my course. The lead educator young lady doctor used the term similarly to having a blister or something very discrete ... but nothing biological is very discrete. Even a blister has a process .. the separation of the skin, formation of fluid etc ... Most of the course is great confirmation and many doctors on their videos say good, decent and sensitive things.

The nurse in Triage agreed with me when I said I was not psychotic ... I was agitated upset and disturbed. I had not heard a voice tell me to do anything .. it was spur of the moment ... less than a second ..

Anyway I am very sad but accepting. My son called up his father and packed up the keyboard and is going country with him for a while. He wouldnt say for how long. I wonder how much he will pull his weight there. I bet it is a different act. I could hear the dad was allowed to listen to his radio and know there wil be relaxed tele watching in the house.

Maybe my son doesnt realise how controlling of me he is. I also know that he is vulnerable. Every human is ... Never mind. He is 24. I am making various plans, continue looking after house, but maybe sell it and move into a retirement village. Will go bushwalking a bit to get of the house otherwise I will go stir crazy.

Without him, its you all here, that give me a reason for living. Maybe my writing group with work out, but the 80yo dominates there ... I have to learn to put up fronts so that people dont think they can push me around ... so there is a bit of thinking about that.Take care