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Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

AppleblossomSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 12:07 pm AEDT

Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

As a person who has experienced mental health issues from a range of viewpoints and who has worked hard to overcome stigma in the community I make this slightly tongue in cheek comment. I hope it does not offend anybody.

Last week I started an online course about caring for People with Psychosis. It is good to learn that most my knowledge is sound. It has a good range of highly qualified psychiatrists on it and has more of a UK than a US slant, which caters to my preferences.

I am not leaving the forum, but will be logging on less. I dont like divisive tactics or popularity contests (too much of a loner) but dont want to contribute to anything that would cause anyone distress.

I was horrified about the Gold Coast teen drug hospitalisations this week. Rather than hysteria about drug use or the range of other symptoms of human dis-ease I do try to be calm and analytical. I also try and use my stories for the good.

How we go about questions of human living is open to debate ... as it should be.

Regards to anyone who reads this.

42 replies

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In response to: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

Unknown userMember23 Oct 2016, 10:25 pm AEDT

Re: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

Hi @Appleblossom

Its uncanny that only the other day I thought it a good idea for you to get away for awhile. And then your son goes to stay with his father for a unknown period of time. Now is the opportunity my friend. Time for you. And please know that we will be here for you. I will be here every day if you should need me to talk to - if you have a bad day and feel abit afraid or lonely. I am a megabyte away. But I have this feeling you will find benefit for this free period.

A retirement village sounds ideal in my opinion. Surrounded by people your (our age, I am also 55) with plenty of activities/outings to join if you should choose. And less maintenance to worry about. I feel you are embarking on your own new journey - a new beginning.

Ofcourse you will keep in touch with your son and with him having to pull his weight with father will be a good thing to help him heal and mature. With the writing group - well there is always one dominate person. Perhaps concentrate on the others in the group who are more easy going and enjoy their company and give the 80 yr old no focus. No one can make you do anything you don't want to.

I love bushwalking - I love nature. This will be uplifting for you as well - and then coming home to no pressure would be so relaxing (I can only dream of). But you can now do it 😃 Take this opportunity my friend to try things you only dreamed of before. And know that we are there for you and won't let you down. You are more than a forum member - you are a valued friend.

Fear not @Appleblossom - the best of life lyes before you. Hugs ❤️

In response to: Re: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

AppleblossomSenior Contributor23 Oct 2016, 11:39 pm AEDT

Re: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

Thank you my friends.

What will be will be .. with children ... I dont want to control them or tie them unnecessarily to me ..I dont them to feel they have to show affection to me. Its more important that they are true to what they believe then get so screwed up like me. I wont make major decisions right now... just looking. I love my daughter as well ...

I spoke with a choir piano teacher friend (not the one with dementia) who said I probably should be in hospital ... but she is very kind and used to a lot of services. I am ok. Others need the beds more, but it was really nice to talk frankly with a person who is becoming a friend. I have to remember to keep the SI at bay.

Then my brother phoned from Germany. We talked for nearly 2 hours. He has 2 big ops next week. One of them is putting a chemo port into artery leading to liver ... supposed to be dangerous ... all I can do is send prayers. We said rosaries together over my mother, but I have sent him meditations on Chakras 2,3 & 4.I have a fabulous book called "Wheels of Life: a user's guide to the chakra system". He discovered an ashram after he got cancer and prefers that form of spirituality ... so we can talk science and airy fairy now ...

He wanted me to keep contact with his wife if anything happened ... but cant really articulate that as its all positive thinking and focus for survival.

In response to: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

Misty1Senior Contributor24 Oct 2016, 1:36 am AEDT

Re: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

Hi @Appleblossom, I feel a bit intrusive replying to your post. Cause I'm new to this and it feels a bit like bringing coals to Newcastle. I'm sorry to hear things are so hard for you and hope they improve.

Anyway, just wanted to send a hug.

In response to: Re: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

AppleblossomSenior Contributor24 Oct 2016, 5:21 pm AEDT

Re: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

Thanks .. its not intrusive .. it is an open forum.

Hello @Misty1 I read your story ... I know "sorry for your loss" doesnt cut it ... but its all I can say for now.

I love your saying about "coals to Newcastle" ... I have an attachment to Newcastle ... I am a long time student of language ... where did you pick it up?

In response to: Re: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

Misty1Senior Contributor24 Oct 2016, 5:29 pm AEDT

Re: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

I don't know where I picked it up...
I know it's an open forum but I feel like the stranger that just joined the conversation. Besides you all seem so good at writing a good response...

In response to: Re: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

AppleblossomSenior Contributor24 Oct 2016, 9:52 pm AEDT

Re: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

It is really hard to know how one's responses are recieved by the inital poster.

I am sure I have put my foot in it a few times but I hope I have helped more than I hindered.

I just "Have a go."

Sometimes a mod or another poster might jump in to soften something I have said and reassure the others on the thread ... I try and take that on board. We are all different.

The best way is to post something that seems relevant to the person or topic and rings true for you. With all your teaching you will have a huge social skills tool kit.

Sometimes .. it actually doesnt matter what is said .. but that someone replied.

Go Gently with yourself @Misty1

In response to: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

Unknown userMember25 Oct 2016, 5:01 am AEDT

Re: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

Hi @Appleblossom, I've just been reading this thread, trying to join the dots where you're at. Wish I had your sharp mind. But it seems you had a relapse, possibly self harm or enough for Triage wanting to schedule you, but you're home, managing on your own. I'm a bit surprised because your trip away for the wedding sounded so positive. And now your son has gone to stay with his dad indefinitely (sorry I thought he was 16) . You're struggling with your life purpose now and having trouble connecting with people. But trying, though shrinking inside yourself.
Have I put it together 1/2 right? I do feel your sadness between your lines and pray it lifts a little soon. I agree with you its better to be treated at home, hopefully with visiting followup but try not to shrink too far into yourself there. (I should talk), sitting outside helps.

I have been struggling with selling up and moving on, now I'm late 50s by myself. Its hard. But I think, give yourself time to rest. The 'empty nest' is hard for UA mums. Be Gentle on Yourself. When my youngest left home suddenly, I pretended she was on holiday a while and would be back. I'm still waiting. Some say it slowed the grief process, but I didn't care - it was/is a survival thing for me. I don't believe in goodbyes, only 'see you later'. Hang in there Apple

In response to: Re: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

AppleblossomSenior Contributor25 Oct 2016, 3:17 pm AEDT

Re: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

Oh @Former-Member It good to hear from you. There is no follow up .. no home visits .. just go through standard system and get a psychiatrist ..

Its weird I think that the week away actually made me realise how controlled and fearful of my son I was. I could watch tv at night relaxed and companionable for a whole week.. I havent been able to do that since I married ... he makes me feel I am putting a great imposition on him to share watching the news or a movie ... the night before the flare up I asked if I could change the tv into the other room (I have 2 antenna points) so I could use it to relax at night ... but "no" and silly negotiations over speakers ... I let it go, I could stand up for my rights but have been trying to get a collaboration ... but the realityI have to face is that my ex and his children really BLOCK me a great deal.. its more than they dont care ... tho my son cares more than anyone .. and I will list him as NOK ... but I do get a steady diet of put downs, which I can do without.

Now that he is not here .. I can open my curtains and see my garden ..He has had so many special needs about control of the airwaves, heating, and curtains never open ... rediscovering my home .. I wanted it to be simple but bright and cheery ... for him growing up.

I didnt feel like watching tele last night .. but I could have.

its sad "snobbery" is such a stupid and destructive thing. I have been held to ransom .. as not being good enough for a very long time.

Of course when/if he comes back I will help out again ... but something in me is closing down .. I have done enough, its a miracle I have survived ... even if things look like I have been a bad mum. I will never block them out .. but I dont feel guilty .. I cant have tried more .. no matter he thinks or says.

He is alright .. is planning to go camping with his girl because his next concert is in the country ... so he is staying on course .. has taken the keyboard .. just wont have me to rehearse him .. but he should be able to do it himself anyway .. I have never had anyone rehearse me.

What are you planning to do after you sell up?

In response to: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

KurraSenior Contributor25 Oct 2016, 11:04 pm AEDT

Re: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

You have done enough @Appleblossom. There comes a time when we need to cut the apron strings so our young adults can start making their own decisions and their own mistakes. In this way we allow our younguns to start using all the things we have taught them since infancy.

This is your home Apple and you have an equal right to have your curtains open, to relax in front of the tele etc if you want. I realise that your son has special needs but you do too. Maybe just maybe it's time for you to look after you.

All of us here have special needs but we've had to break those ties to our parents and start taking responsibility for our own lives. As mothers and fathers we have a responsibility to care for our children until they have grown up.

One thing I've really enjoyed since my kids have flown the nest is being able to do things my way and to rediscover the single me. I'm Kurra first and foremost now.

Once you start recovering from your difficult woopsie recently you might find it quite liberating to release the real Apple. As you mentioned you have noticed that something in you is closing down. Personally I believe this may be a sign of the inner you bursting to break through.

I have been thinking of you although my posts have been infrequent recently. I'm still adjusting to much longer hours at all times of day or night and a significantly more cerebrally demanding job.

Take care. You're in my thoughts 🎶💕

In response to: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

MoonGalSenior Contributor26 Oct 2016, 11:38 am AEDT

Re: Multiple Viewpoints: Mental Illness is NOT for Dummies

@Appleblossom - I have always loved engaging with you and thank you for the care you have put into this community. I hope you find your balance and self-care.

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