Still safe

I could not disagree with you more, @NatureLover. I reaffirm every word of my post.

My ex-psychiatrist took me, in a most broken, shattered state, in the depths of depression and with a very tangled personality–I had no idea who I was–and he unpicked my maliciously damaged personality, and rebuilt me in the manner that was true to my identity, my potential, my social position. He gave me my true self–my intellect, education, direction, strength, values, and a role-model I will treasure all of my days. And role-models can re-create us.

He threw out all he had been taught because he knew it was wrong. I was his guinea pig. He had the skill, and I had the need and the time to follow it through to completion. I once asked him how he got through his exams when he must have had to tell them what they wanted to hear, not what he knew to be true. I have found in my psychology course that I am faced with the same dilemma.

He cured my depression because he knows what causes it and he told me, because educating me was important to him as he knew psychiatry was where I am most in my element. Not with any psychiatry, with his psychiatry. When he speaks, you know it is true because it 'rings' true. It stands proven.

I did not fall into depression during this past trauma because I understood the mechanism and was able to avoid it. That was the worst trauma I have ever been through and there had been a wide range, and I only resorted to half a tablet for a couple of nights to recalibrate on several occasions. I no longer suffer depression and I never will again.

I am sorry you believe that your condition can only be managed. That will ensure that it will be ever so.

Unlike you, @NatureLover, I do not believe that only milder conditions can be cured. My ex-psychiatrist would not shy away from the most severe of cases because he revelled in the challenge. And so do I. And a little bit improved is not acceptable to him or to me. Total cure was always his objective and no challenge would be too great. He actually knew what he was doing, not just going through the motions. It was magic to watch him work and I will treasure the memories always. He has an intellect I will never see again. He is a freak of nature.

Edit: As you know, I swing from thinking him a demon to a wonder worker, then back again. This was written when I was in the wonder worker frame of mind. I'm now back in the other perception of him. He did this to me with well-planned malice after luring me into his web by his good deeds. I'm stuck here. Perhaps I was more his 'fool' than his guinea pig.

Hi @Historylover

I'm happy to hear you're feeling a bit better today and hope this continues today.

Sending hugs

Hanami

Deeply immersed in legal studies at the moment @hanami. Most interesting. Cheers and have a good day!

Ahh legal studies @Historylover that could be a very long and winding rabbit hole, but worthwhile if you are in the mood.

I thought about it for a while, a long time ago, but went in the music direction. I had already worked in a few legalistic roles, so did enough for me.

Managing flare ups in moods well with prn meds is wise

Waiting for results is tough. Hearing you about academia.

I tend to agree that even severe mental illnesses can be treated and people can be well, but I have a very flexible concept of what is well and functioning I guess.

I have been getting these training videos for new psychiatrists and think they are a load of bollucks.

Glad others were there for you. Just saying hello.

Apple

Hello to you too, @Appleblossom. I'm thoroughly enjoying investigating legal studies at the moment as my next enrolled course, beginning next month, is Aboriginal issues, and there is a lot of law in that. At any rate, all education is good and I've had my appetite thoroughly whetted. I just wish my concentration could last as long as my interest each day, but I expect I will become more and more conditioned.

I thought if my assignments are not fairly assessed, I may change courses to (para?)legal studies, but at the moment I'm just letting things settle down. I'm more than a little peeved by these superior-to-thy-education university folks. They don't realize how lucky they are. We haven't all had the same opportunities.

I have to do a PowerPoint presentation for the major assignment in the Aboriginal issues course and have never done one before. I dropped out of the course last time when I saw that requirement as I have no-one to help me with it; but I'm hoping that I'll be able to work it out with the aid of YouTube. I hate to let anything beat me!

It really is tough waiting for results. Now I understand what students go through.

As for training videos for trainee psychiatrists–I wouldn't bother. My ex-psy forbade me to look into psychiatry books as I would only get as angry–and misinformed–as he had been. He was happy to educate me himself–to the extent that our roles permitted. He allowed/encouraged any other medical field text book, but not psychiatry. There are so many misconceptions out there that it is incredible that the system hasn't imploded before now.

Yes, I was rescued again by the forumites, and am back in the saddle again.

Thankfully.

@ Alive and kicking is Good. @Historylover The power point requirement in my last unit was a big learning curve for me. They seem to think of it as essential for digital literacy. I never managed the narrated part in time, but In the end I enjoyed adding the pictures and quotes to the normal written work. You probably get access to the program through your course site, and there are help sites to show you how to use it. Give yourself a bit more time.

@Appleblossom, I've done it again–swung from suicidal and thinking him the demon from hell, then back to thinking him a wonderful miracle worker, then back again now to the demon.

I'm safe. He hasn't finished with me yet. What a mess he has made of me.

No worries, @Historylover , there is room for disagreement on these forums and I would be very glad to be wrong about severe MIs being able to be cured. 🙂

Can I ask very gently about something that confuses me? I would like to learn on this matter. You write that

---

@Historylover wrote:

I no longer suffer depression and I never will again

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but you also write that you're suicidal. I had previously thought that being suicidal was severe depression. Can you explain how it is not depression? I would be interested to hear.

The personal issues I am dealing with are insurmountable @NatureLover.

I could probably slide into depression if I give up on my fight to survive, and perhaps I should.

Hey there @Historylover

How are things going today? Did you get through the legal studies stuff ok. I take my hat off to you, that stuff is heavy going! Super interesting though I imagine.

Your course sounds really interesting.

Sending hugs

Hanami 💮