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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor16 June 2022, 9:48 pm AEST

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor09 Feb 2024, 8:34 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

She did talk at me. First walk but 2 phone calls all on the same thing. Just everything on repeat. I put boundaries in before dad’s cancer but they got blurred and mum has come barreling through them. @tyme.

I know you can’t and I know no one will.. I wish they would. We’d all be happier

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator09 Feb 2024, 8:37 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

Sorry, and NEVER. And no, we wouldn't be happier. I reckon I'd leave the profession if it happened because I'd see it as failing on my part @Captain24

I know what you mean by talking on REPEAT! So did my mum.. that same thing over and over and over again!

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor09 Feb 2024, 8:48 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

I don’t see it as a failing on your part @tyme. It’s not your fault I’m not right for this world.

You just get sick of hearing it. It’s even worse when you don’t want to hear it at all and don’t want to be there. Don't want to see them and don’t want to face them. The only bonus is that she is too self-centred to ask how my appointment went so I haven't had to try and work around it until I see my CM.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator09 Feb 2024, 8:55 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

When's your next CM appointment? I know you said she's been away and you've been trying to get in touch before your psych but it didn't happen. Do you have a CM appointment booked? @Captain24

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor09 Feb 2024, 9:00 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

She was at my Pdoc appointment and she is making an appointment for Tuesday. To discuss telling my parents. @tyme.

Tuesday seems like a long way away right now.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator09 Feb 2024, 9:09 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

Tues @Captain24 ... it's something for you to look forward to. That is, you have a planned date that you are accountable. I recognise it feels like a long way off, but it helps you look ahead.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

AcanthizaSenior Contributor09 Feb 2024, 9:10 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24sometimes just getting by moment to moment is an accomplishment. I'm so sorry to hear how things are for you. I know it is probably completely different but it sounds so familiar. I am so glad I didn't follow through with my feelings back then even though it seemed like there were no other options. Sending you whatever strength I can and really hoping you get the help you deserve.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor09 Feb 2024, 9:15 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

What if she forgets. @tyme. I’m not really important. She’s pretty busy and there is probably others that deserve and need her more. I feel like it would just save the hassle of everything and for everyone.

Im really not ok. I don’t know if I can do it. but I have to say I'm safe

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator09 Feb 2024, 9:22 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

Here's a HUG for you @Captain24

YOU deserve it. Your mind is telling you to be hard on yourself and it's hard to see that because you deserve so much more.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor09 Feb 2024, 9:27 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.