I can’t cope

Good luck with that @tyme! You do need a break though.

I get that @Captain24 . It’s barely living, just existing feeling. Let’s just say, ‘been there, done that’ and it’s not a nice feeling.

Reading between the lines, you are usually very active and gets things done, but lately, everything’s just been a mental blur…

It’s hard. Makes it even harder to accept that things are not getting done.

Go slow. One step at a time.

Do you have private health insurance for MH?

Yeah. I’m very house proud @tyme. I like my house to be clean and tidy and my lawn the same.

I usually write myself a list and get

most of it done within a couple of days. Even in really low periods.

Right now if I don’t have any appointments, there is no shower, no anything.

It’s like life is just passing me by. I struggle to even know what day it is.

I don’t think I have ever been this bad. I thought I’d had bad times before. I am safe because I don’t have the mental or physical capacity to act on anything. That concerned my CM a lot.

Im sorry I just keep going around in circles. I hate it. I’m sure you hate hearing the same stuff. I don’t even get any reprieve when waking up. It’s there instantly.

My health insurance covers some MH stuff. I couldn’t get much sense out of the dickhead I was on the phone to yesterday.

I’m glad you are house proud. When there’s kids, there’s no opportunity to be house proud unless the kids are in devices ALL day. @Captain24

Maybe you can try calling insurance again. Many times they prob may not even know what’s going on. I’ve had many exp where the person just doesn’t make sense.

When do you work next?

Dogs make it hard too! @tyme. You should see my lounge room it’s covered in toys. It was pretty embarrassing when I had visitors the other night. Plus there were dishes on my bench and my kitchen wasn’t clean.

The private hospital that I’m going to is covered and I think all inpatient stuff is. He just didn’t get that it’s different to going in for surgery.

I go back to work on Wednesday. I’m not looking forward to it but I guess it’ll be some structure and routine. Plus some distraction. I don’t think I’m unsafe at work. I think I’ll be able to focus on what needs to be done.

Routine helps @Captain24 . Are you still on light duties? I think that’s the hard part.

I think I am @tyme. I was only at work one day the last block. I had a MH day the first shift, went the second shift, my CM gave me a certificate after everything that happened and then I had the last shift off for mum.

I hope I’m free to work. I need some part of my life to be regular.

I am really really struggling today.

When you go away, tou said you were by the lake? If I remember correctly. Is there only water sports or is there other stuff?

I'm sorry to hear you are really struggling today @Captain24 . What are some things you can do to keep going?

Yes, when we go away on Monday, there are canoes and kayaks on the property and the gate opens to the river. I'll send photos when we get there.

Routine helps with MH. I remember when I was unwell, work is what kept me going in a way. I was there in person, but my mind was elsewhere. However, it was a distraction at least.

I have gotten rid of the rubbish in the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher @tyme. So I guess that is something.

I just need to go back to bed and forget everything. Just so I don’t have to face another minute.

That sounds awesome.. I love the water but I’m not a fan of rivers or dams. They are murky. But kayaking and canoeing you don’t really have to get in. If it’s a single person kayak you could pack a picnic lunch and head off on your own for some peace and quiet!

Good idea @Captain24 ..

I'll stay in the water and row off... then come back for bed time lol @Captain24 Why not?

You should see all the photos we try to get.... one kid is always pulling a face. So much screaming just for a photo... I think we should just use photoshop in the future and crop them in and out of photos.

I can't wait to be alone without kids... I'm so so done with them all. Thank God I don't have my own kids. Seriously.