I can’t cope

I can come up with some good ideas sometimes! @tyme.

How many kids is there all up? Will all of them be on holidays?

I really don’t know how you do it!

5 kids. And when they get silly, the noise is intense. 9,8,6,5,3 years old. @Captain24

I just want to sleep without a kid on me lol.

I reckon if the weather wasnt as humid, it’d be better.

Oh well.

How are the dogs going?

They are at that silly age! @tyme Lots of noise lots of silliness and lots of fights!

Im glad I never had kids.

Even when you get home you don’t even have our own bed. I feel for you.

Both dogs are asleep at my feet. I feel really bad as I haven’t done much with them. I really need to get my shit together.

They are pretty resilient @Captain24 . It's okay if things are a bit blah at the moment. The dogs have each other to keep company.

Look after yourself. That's the most important thing. Even when you said "I really need to get my shit together", do you think you'd ever say that to someone else? I think we are our own hardest critic. And perhaps this is the 'anger' your CM was talking about?

I guess they are happy as long as they are with someone @tyme. I’m missing out on the puppy years though. But I guess he will survive.

I wouldn't say it to anyone but it’s time I did get it together. Maybe you are both right about the anger.

I just hate what I’m doing to myself and to them.

I think this is where the work of self-compassion comes in @Captain24 . I'm not sure this is the time to do it, but it's something to consider in the future.

I also think ACT would be helpful too. Have you done much work in ACT?

Just in case I don't respond, I'm logging off soon.

I'll be around tomorrow evening though for my last night in Syd - YES! After sleeping on this bed, I need a new back lol.

@Captain24 , know that it is hard now. We recognise that. But we also recognise that you are doing your level best. To be honest, irl, I think you would be someone I'd love to work with. You just have that 'touch' that makes people gravitate towards helping you.

Just keep going.

I haven’t really don’t much work in anything. @tyme. I’m hoping the mess that I’m in now might lead to something. Some form of guidance to prevent it from getting so bad again.

It’s so hard. I am trying but at the same time I don’t have it in me to keep trying.

Thanks for saying that. It’s quite ironic as my CM continually says she enjoys working with me. I don’t know why… I keep putting her through hell

Have a good night and day tomorrow. Thanks for everything

So.. I’ve just messed up with getting my sleep back into routine. I’ve just spent the last couple of hours asleep. But it’s all I could do. I couldn’t face the day anymore.

Why am I such a loser? Why do I mess everything up? Why can’t I just move on? Why can’t I get better?

Hey @Captain24, sorry to hear you slept when you were trying to create a better routine for sleep but maybe you needed it do you think?

It sounds like you are having a tough time rn with your thoughts. What are your plans for this evening? I'm wondering if you can distract yourself from your thoughts rn?

Sitting with to this evening!

Take care

RiverSeal

Thanks @RiverSeal

I needed it as an escape. An escape from everything.

Im just watching some tv but it’s not very distracting. I don't know what else to do