I can’t cope

It’s ok @tyme. I’m sorry. I need to say how I feel but on here is not the place.

Im not sure what she can or can’t do after it yet. I do know that she is going to have rehab. So I have to wait and see on Wednesday or hopefully Thursday when I get her back. They want her over night but if she becomes aggressive they are going to call me to pick her up.

That’s pretty cute. It’s a good story. Share away.

Are you concerned about Pix? Is that where these feelings are coming from? @Captain24 Or is it something else?

I don’t really know @tyme Maybe it’s just an accumulation of things. Pixies surgery, her after care, like do I have to crate her? Can she just go in a portacot? Can she sleep with me? Can mum look after her without dad, especially in the recovery period.
Dad starts radiation tomorrow.

Im not happy in my job at the moment.
I feel alone.

I see my

Pdoc on Thursday and I haven’t seen her in months so my Cam will make sure I tell her everything

Maybe I just can’t do it all, what if I can’t do it all?
Maybe that’s all getting to me.

Hence I don’t want to exist anymore

There are many if's, but's and what if's there. I hear you have a lot on your plate @Captain24 and it's certainly not easy.

For now, with so much going on, maybe it's about just getting through the next 5-10mins at a time. Leave the 'future' things aside, ask yourself how you will manage the next 5 mins.

When things got really really tough for me, that's what I had to do. Just 5 min intervals.... I couldn't cope any more than that.

Hugs @Captain24 . I wish I could say it will all be okay, but I don't know what tomorrow will bring. Uncertainty can be hard to sit with. And maybe, that's what the work will be around - "How can I learn to sit with uncertainty?"

I'll leave that with you to consider. We will chat later this week.

Please please take care and let us know that you are safe.

Sorry @tyme. You’ve probably already knocked off.

I will try and face each minute as it comes and try not to focus on the future. But that is where the need for control is an issue.

Sorry… I am safe pretty much only because I have to be.

@Captain24 , I've just discovered on another thread that 2 services now have a 24/7 online chat!

Lifeline 24/7 Webchat and BeyondBlue 24/7 Webchat ! Did you know? I'm telling everyone I know!

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@Captain24 wrote:

Sorry you are feeling depressed @NatureLover. Is there anything you can do that will help lift you up from it?

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Thanks @Captain24 ...I ended up lying on my bed after a walk yesterday morning. Spent most of the day distracting myself by reading and laundry.

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@Captain24 wrote:

The other strengths were honesty and perseverance. I guess you can see that I’m pretty honest! Lol.

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Ah yes! I have honesty but not perseverence. Perseverence would make a big difference to my life! All 3 are truly great traits that you have.

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@Captain24 wrote:

Im feeling pretty sick today. I’m having a nap in my car instead of working. The boss is giving me a couple of hrs to see if I can go back in.

My mood is slightly better today but I’m self hatred is still there. I want to try and work on it with my psych.

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Were you able to go back to work yesterday? I'm so sad about your self hatred lingering on 😢

I'm usually only around in the early mornings on the forums, hence delayed reply.

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@Captain24 wrote:

Hence I don’t want to exist anymore

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Reading further...I'm sorry to hear about this...I can relate. Not for a long time, but before that most of my life was that. Sending hugs @Captain24

@Captain24 sorry to hear about Pix, hopefully it helps her and she can get back to herself.

Hoping your day is going well 💜

@Captain24 Wishing you and Pix a good day today hon.

Thinking of you 💜💜