I can’t cope

Hello @Captain24,

Thank you for your reply, of course I care! 💛

Physio will definitely be helpful. What do you have to do to care for your back right now?

I am glad that you have had a lounge day with your fur babies.

What have you been up to this evening?

Hello @MissGremlin! 🥰

Thank you @AuntGlow I really appreciate it

Physio was helpful but now it’s really sore again. I’m just sitting here at work doing computer work and getting up every hour to move around. I snuck my phone in so I wasn’t alone!

I have exercises to do which will hopefully help the muscles to settle a little bit.

I cried when I saw my GP this morning when they took my stitches out. He told me to make an appointment with him so I told him I already had one booked for Thursday. He showed a little bit of care.

How are you going?

Hello @AuntGlow ❤️

Physio can be like that and it does take time, so remember to be gentle with yourself as you heal. There a lot of supplements that can help with your muscle healing, if you ask your physio about it. Movement is great as well - I have lower back injury and have to remember to keep moving too. @Captain24 I am glad that your GP has been there for you. 💛

I am doing well! Just taking things slowly at the moment and focusing on my health too! 🥰

How are you this evening? How is little Casper? @MissGremlin 🥹💛

Sorry. I forgot to reply!!! ADHD! @MissGremlin

It is good but it also shows that I’m feeling something

I can imagine that it’s shit as it’s the only way to get some sleep. But it’s only going to make things so much worse

Its ok to pack up and look after yourself.

How are tou feeling now?

I get up every hour and walk around. It’s bloody freezing outside and it’s just going to get colder! @AuntGlow

Supplements are hard I’m already taking 15 tablets of a night with all the extra pain ones!

The physio was nice and we have made another appointment for Thursday. My return to work coordinator is taking me to the doctor on Wednesday. I told him to try for the doctor that was in hospital.

It’s good you are focusing on your health. Healthy eating patterns? Exercise?

@AuntGlow I'm exhausted completely, I truly feel empty and numb yet somehow on the edge of bursting into tears. Today I had a moment, it was very brief but it felt like somehow things could be ok but then it all shifted and I felt the darkness come over me and it's so heavy, it feels like it's smothering me, like I can't find any slivers of light and i can't breathe. I'm scared that I'm going to lose everything if I can't get myself through this, I don't want to go back to what happened before, I barely made it through it and right now I don't have the strength to fight. I'm safe as I just don't have any energy to even do anything, I'm laying in bed watching my TV shows, hoping I can sleep but it's hard when I know i have a seizure coming aswell.

Casper is snuggled up next to me, he's good.

@Captain24 gotta love the ADHD brain, mine drives me nuts lately with not staying focused on just one task.

Yes it does.

I know, it's a horrible pattern that I've gotten myself in and I need to find a way to break it.

You can see the post i just did to AuntGlow as to how I'm feeling. I'm hoping I can fall asleep soon.

I think the fact that you had a fleeting moment where you felt things could be okay is really positive - it shows that you can access it again. @MissGremlin

What were you doing in that moment? What were some contributing factors?

I know how scary it must be to feel this way, so please remember to call Lifeline or 000 if you are feeling unsafe, okay?

Can we agree that you'll turn to your safety plan tonight? Watching your shows sounds like a great start. 💛