I can’t cope

@AuntGlow I was doing my diamond art at the time but it was like I had a flashback to when things were ok, i guess there's a part of me that hopes that I might get back there one day even if it's only subconsciously.

I'll try to, I did try to reach out earlier but I couldn't get things out, it's scary to talk about where things have been at. Like I said I'm safe at the moment, I don't even have the energy to move. I'm just focusing on one shaky breath after another while my heart is pounding away.

Mine is terrible! The better I get the worse ASHD is! @MissGremlin

You do need to break it. It’s not just you that this effects. I know it’s hard but I think that is the most important to think about while doing it to yourself.

I read by it. I’m sorry it’s just so rough for you. I know the feeling of being to mentally un well that your are safe. That was a massive concern for my psych a few weeks ago. That’s when my GP and Pdoc all got involved

I hope you don’t have the seizure . I’m hoping you can get some sleep soon. Well night really…. For selfish reasons! 😜

I have tomorrow night off now. They are giving it to me. So I don’t have to sit here or drive out here. So that’s good. I can do stuff at home that has me moving and resting all day. I am doing my best to try and fix it.

I’m sitting at work doing procedures for a friend to help him out and so I have something to do. It’s making me really tired. It’s also hurting my back. I keep getting up every hour and moving around. But moving is hurting too now. I’m not sitting in a decent chair as there’s none.

It’s all playing mind games in my head. I’m a good friend by doing some for him and reducing his load. But because I’m tired and I’m getting some of the answers wrong. That’s making me feel stupid. My mind is saying really bad things. Like the drive home may not go well.

I just want to go home. In the warmth and in my nice cosy bed with my babies.

Hey there @Captain24,

It sounds like you're trying to be a really good bud, and helping out a friend but it's impacting your wellbeing quite negatively 😟

Whilst it can be valuable to strengthen our relationships with people around us by showing them we care, it's also really important to recognise when you might need to enforce some boundaries for yourself. I'm sure you already know this, but just offering another kind reminder that we've got better capacity to help other people, when our own cup is full.

You said that the drive home may not go well, is there a plan you have in place to make sure that you reach home to your babies safely?

If you need a safe space to talk about the bad things that your mind is saying, I really encourage you to connect with some of these services tonight, so that you can get the support you're needing:

• 000 Emergency, police & ambulance (24 Hrs)
• Connect with a lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs) 13 11 14
• Suicide callback service (24 Hrs) 1300 659 467

I hope that you can get cozy up and be warm with your babies at home very soon!

Hi @MindfulMango

I have done some of the easy quick ones. He has a few in there that are dozer things but I can’t drive one so I won’t get those answers right! It is impacting me but he is a really nice guy and I want to help. I’ve only got an hour to go and then I’m finished.

Boundaries aren’t a strong point! It’s just an hour I’ll probably only get one more done. I am slowly getting better. It has kept me busy though. My back is hurting really badly. It hurts sitting in the chair and my return to work plan says I have to get up and move every 45 minutes so I’ve been doing that but now walking around is hurting to. It’s causing a lot of negative self talk as well. I’m stressing about it too. My boss has given me tomorrow night off so that’ll be easier. This time tomorrow I’ll be asleep instead of at work.

I need to not have a plan for the drive. I am thinking of my babies though. How would they cope. I don’t think anyone else would care.

Talking would be good but I can’t here as there is people in the office.

Im hoping the next hour goes quickly. The night hasn’t seem too long since I’ve been doing this stuff. I didn’t even realise the time