I can’t cope

That’s soon @MissGremlin at least you don’t have to wait all day. Feel Casper breathing. Maybe go out side in the fresh air for a few minutes.

I hope you can get some help for them. That would be great for all. It’s hard to know how much to say about that situation, you need to get the point across that help is desperately required but not too far that it’s taken out of your hands.

As for yourself it’s the same. Maybe use the pressure that that is causing, being in that situation could need support. Others get help for that and get told to get help to be able to help. If that makes sense. It would be so much easier to write it properly! 😜

Have you had an iced coffee? Could you have one? But I’m hoping there is a little bit of sun that you can see just for a couple of minutes. Hopefully that may help. I know how hard it is to get outside though. But if I was you I’d be pacing the house anyway! I wouldn’t be able to stay still. Not sure if you’re similar.

@Captain24 I'm the same in pacing the house and not being able to stay still!

I can't eat or drink anything when I'm like this, I just had to take my anti nausea medication as I feel so sick.

It’s taken its toll @AuntGlow Im really suffering from it all. As Jynx said the vulnerability hangover is real.

It wasn’t easy being so open but it had to be said. Her compassion and not hurrying me was great. She really cares about me. The hospital I think I would go to is actually near her. I’m not sure if she lives near there or her other clinic is there but she said she would work something out while I was there. If I can work it all out.

Ahe also knows how scared I am of big places. When she said it was near the train station I freaked a little but she said it’s not as busy as I think. My friend that went there walked to the beach every morning so I don’t know what that’s like. But it was 15 minutes and the ocean. Sounds good.

Some days I really wish for a proper mum. I don’t have anyone. I told my psych yesterday that I was alone in it all. I did message my friend last night and asked if she has been to that hospital. She hasn’t but apparently a few that use to go to the old one go there. Also some of the staff moved across too. She asked if I was coping and I said no and she sent a sad face. So I guess she isn’t up for it. The last we talked she said she was doing really well and I don’t want to upset that on her. Maybe she doesn’t have the capacity within herself or doesn’t feel strong enough to support me.

thank you so much for supporting me through it. This is gonna be a tough ride. I need to know that someone is in my corner and that there is no right or wrong because right now I feel like it’s wrong.

My fingers are crossed @MissGremlin

It is hard but you need to keep safe so we will keep it all cryptic.

Good luck

Thankyou @Captain24 sweet ❤️.

They're late which really isn't helping my anxiety!

@Captain24 well I survived it. It wasn't too bad, a bit confronting at times but hopefully this referral will go through and get picked up. Now I'm waiting for my support worker to come at 10.30. I'm exhausted and just want to rest.

The referral for some one or for you?

Im glad it’s done though and you got through it.

I hope the support worker went ok @MissGremlin

All I have done is lay in bed and sleep. I’m still really tired. I don’t know how to fix this exhaustion. It’s mental and physical. I’m just so drained. I actually dreamt that work would give me the time off paid and that Pix didn’t have diabetes and I could get a dogs sitter. I wish that were real.

Becore I can look any further into it I have to see when all of mums appointments are. So I can see if I can juggle around it. I’m not sure whether this hospital is a 3 or 4-week stay. I’m sure it won’t be as relaxed as the last one I went too. I don’t know if I should do the mood disorders or the trauma course. Mood is all CBT but I don’t see pictures so that makes it hard.

Im just saying this to try and feel a little heard instead of holding it all in. I don’t expect any response or anything though. Just know I’m not alone.

Hey @Captain24 I'm with you, I hear you. Having to think about all these logistics while also really struggling would be exhausting.

I'm glad that you can get some of these things out here, but I also hear that these urges to self harm are feeling pretty scary right now and I wonder if talking to someone in real-time would be helpful? Even if it's just to help ride out the urges for now.

@Captain24 the referral is to a service that should hopefully be able to help all involved.

The support worker was ok.

I'm sorry things are so tough for you at the moment sweet. I'm here with you, sending lots of love and hugs to you ❤️.