I can’t cope

@Captain24 I can never not read a post, not when I genuinely care how someone is going 😂.

I'm glad that you slept ok last night and you've done well to play with Pix and get the food cooked. I completely understand how hard it is to mask and hide those thoughts/urges, being worried that someone can see straight through the masking. Just try to take things one moment at a time and also know that it's ok to let someone you trust know if you're struggling and need a break. I'm sending you lots of love and hugs sweetheart and I'm here with you ❤️.

Yeah one person woke up with a sore throat so just erring on the side of caution. It's definitely not what I had planned today but at least I was able to get shopping done so I don't have to go out over the weekend now. I managed to clean my oven when I got up so that's done aswell for the inspection. I've actually still been keeping up with wiping areas down and putting things away regularly so there's really not much to do this time around.

It came really close to me acting on thoughts last night cos i was desperate for sleep, I only managed to talk to a crisis service once, the other 2 times I panicked and ended the chat. I'm safe at the moment though, just exhausted from having to fight myself. Once I've done lunch here then I'll see if I can have a nap.

I'm hoping that you're able to get some good sleep before work and that things are feeling even just a tiny bit lighter when you wake up ❤️

I’m glad you have kept it up. There is not as much stress this time! I am proud of you @MissGremlin. how’s the laundry?

Im sorry it got that rough for you last night. You do well to reach out like you do. I can’t do that.

I hope it’s all good health wise.

Lunch and a sleep sounds good. We can have a nap together if that helps your way of thinking. I’ll be asleep from 11:30 to 4:30 if that helps. Well hopefully anyway.

Im just about to head in and drop them off. Dishes are done and kitchen is clean!! Veggies in my dinner and it’s made 6 meals that I don’t think I can eat all of the meal!

I hope sleep finds you.

Thankyou @Captain24 sweet ❤️. It's the longest I've kept it up for!

It's been harder to reach out lately cos of what happened on Saturday.

Fingers crossed.

Well we diamond art together so why not nap together 😂. I'll be just after 12pm, although I'm trying to get lunch done earlier, I'm struggling to stay awake.

You've done amazing to get the dishes done and clean the kitchen after cooking. Veggies for dinner sounds so yummy 😋. Just eat as much as you can, I sometimes find that my eyes are bigger than my stomach 😂

It makes things so much easier and less overwhelming. Totally less stress especially there when I caused so much distress last time. @MissGremlin. That’s why I try and keep my house pretty good. It does get messy but if I stop and actually focus I can put the stuff and rubbish away in an hour and it’s clean again. I don’t have rent inspections to keep me on my toes!

I’ve had a shower and just climbed in bed. I’ll see you soon! Even though that sounds really creepy! 😂

Ill only eat what I can. I usually struggle to get enough meals out if it for these 3 nights but the pasta bake has more veggies than usual. They are smaller meals but I still think too much. I still can’t work out how much I actually eat with these needles. It’s just a lot less then normal!

I hope you can get some sleep.

good night

@Captain24 it does make it so much easier. It's nice to not have to panic so much other than the anxiety of having someone come into my space. I dread the inspections!

I've just climbed into bed myself. It's only creepy if you don't know what we're talking about 😂. We're in bed together now 😂😂😂.

Eating less is good and over time that will become the normal, smaller portions are better for us.

Hoping we can both get some sleep. Night night sweetheart ❤️