I can’t cope

Very big appointment @Captain24 but one that you can be proud of - you showed up in the most vulnerable way, were open and honest (even though it could have scary implications), and you were open to the ideas she put forward about getting into hospital and taking those steps forward to looking after yourself. I'm so glad you have this support with whom you're able to be so honest and trust that she is going to care for you and show up for you.

I hope that you are able to take it easy this afternoon, take some time to process and sit with everything. Vulnerability 'hangovers' are a thing!

Hey @Jynx

I even told her what I’d been taking and how much. She listened without judgement. She didn’t hurry me or anything.

Im really struggling right now getting organised. I still haven’t made lunches for work and I haven’t cooked dinner yet. I can’t even see my kitchen. I’m stressing out and stressing badly. I just put the dogs bath towels in the dryer and sat on the floor. I’ve got nothing. I don’t care for anything. I’m in a little bit of trouble right now. I am safe though. Just distress is getting higher. I went outside and got the dogs beds in and I walked around for a little bit trying to breathe but my head is just stuck on a loop.

Sorry it’s all negative. On the plus side I have been spending a lot of time cuddling and playing with my babies. Selfish reasons though. I just need to be held and loved. I’m lived it’s just me holding them as close and as tight as I can.

The vulnerability thing is hard. I felt it on the weekend too. I feel raw and exposed. Ashamed as well for thinking the things I’m thinking. I have work tomorrow so I’m hoping the hangover goes with sleep if I get any

How have you been?

I still haven’t done anything other than turn the oven on @MissGremlin

Oh sorry.. I took a before pic! So maybe I can be proud of the change

@Captain24 I've done so much, I didn't have a choice cos of who is coming out tomorrow morning for a meeting. I've vacuumed the house, cleaned the bird out, taken the bins out, done dinner and all the dishes and everything is ready for tomorrow. I just need to wipe the bathroom sink down tomorrow morning. I'm exhausted but at least it's stopped me from hurting myself, just not sure how tonight is going to go but I guess it's focusing on knowing that I have to mask completely tomorrow morning (I'm safe). It's almost time to start my bedtime routine, I might even start now cos I've had enough of today.

Taking a before photo is a good idea so you can see the change after.

@Captain24 I'm glad you are doing things like stepping outside and focusing on your breathing. If you continue to slow things down and take it one step at a time I'm sure you can get everything done, especially if you just focus on the essential tasks.

I am hearing how dark things are for you, so please remember that no feeling lasts forever. And please don't hesitate to reach out to Lifeline or SCBS if things get overwhelming. You've proven over the weekend that you're capable of doing so, so I have faith in you, that you will keep yourself safe as best you can.

Keep your pups close; it's not selfish to want to feel loved - it's human. Lean on them as much as you need. You got this <3

I think I’m having and ADHD moment or I’m just completely lost and buried. I can’t think straight. I can’t focus on one thing at a time. I still haven’t even cooked dinner. I have put the chicken in the oven for my work lunches though.

My kitchen is still a mess and I haven’t unpacked the dishwasher. I need the stuff out of it. I can’t concentrate. I’m all over the place. My head is just racing and I just have no idea what is going on. I know what I’m meant to be doing but I can’t see it.

Im getting more and more overwhelmed by the minute. I’m starting to feel like I’m losing it. Like no control. Im safe. Im scared. How am I suppose to function. I need dinner sorted. I don’t k ow what to do. I’m just scattered and lost. I can’t feel my hands or my feet and my heart is just racing. I’m panicking but don’t know why unless it’s just because I’m descending to far and too fast.

Im safe at the moment. I would be able to concentrate on it anyway.

Im just needing to try and empty my mind of something.

Hey @Captain24 that does sound really overwhelming, especially after the big day you've had.

Is there anything that helps when you're feeling like this? Like I know I like to step away and write a list, but maybe also just taking a second out and having a sip of water or a few deep breaths and just trying to think of what's the first thing that you need to do and try to just focus on that one thing until its time to move to the next task.

Like @Jynx said, just one step at a time

I actually did write a list but it’s like it’s overwhelming me even more. @Ru-bee. I can’t barely read it as all the words are swirling around. They are here to I’d thing don’t make sense.

I have actually managed to put dinner on. I feel so faint that I feel

like I could pass our

Im trying to breathe and calm down. Maybe when I’ve eaten that my help. I’m so dizzy.

Sorry I feel

like I’m a ranting lunatic. A few more minutes and dinner will be ready. The stuff for munch tomorrow is cooked I just need to make the wraps.

Sorry. I am safe just not well

Good on you @Captain24 when its ready, have your dinner and then see how you're feeling. I know its hard but you got this

I’ve had dinner but could eat much as I felt sick @Ru-bee shaling and really don’t feel well.

I have packed the leftovers for dinner for the next few nights. I still have to make lunches and clean up the kitchen but I’m sitting here trying b to calm down.

I’ve tried different breathing exercises and I’ve tried cold, nothing is helping bring this down.

Im trying to watch some tv to settle but it’s sad and I’m sitting here and have just started bawling uncontrollably.

I can’t cope an I can’t deal with it. I am safe. I have work tomorrow so I have to pull myself together.

Im sorry