I can’t cope

I had some dinner and a bath. I turned all the lights off in the house and just laid in it by candle light and rain sounds. @Chasingsunsets Im really tired and exhausted it’s been long and tough today but I’m not sleepy. I’ve been laying here for over 2 hours and I’m still awake.

I hope you evening has gone well and you can get plenty of rest. I saw the photos of your walk and it looks so nice.

I just got up and took more @MissGremlin Im still not asleep. I can’t take anything else though as I’m pushing the limits. Hopefully they help quieten the noise a little.

That’s a cute photo @Cuddlebear Inhope you are resting. I’m resting just not sleeping. It’s starting to stress me out.

@Captain24 I'm sorry that you're still not sleep sweet. Please be careful with medications, I'm just hoping it helps you to be able to sleep. I'm not even in bed yet, things are way too intense for that so I'm chatting to a crisis service (I'm safe).

Sounds like ita been stimulation overload and you needed the least amount of stimulation to try get some equilibrium if I am on the right track @Captain24. I have been curious about all this recently actually re high and low activation and what I can do to bring myself back. Only in the very early stages. I’m also still awake had good intentions lol. Oh are pics up! That’s exciting thanks for letting me know 🤗. What’s on for your week ahead?

Ps thanks re my walk @Captain24 my highlight has to be the tawny frogmouth! I am hoping they are sitting on eggs 🤞🤞. Do you guys get these guys where you live?

@Captain24 @MissGremlin @Cuddlebear 

I have been awake for the last 2 hours. I’m so tired. I can’t get comfortable, I can’t get back to sleep. My body feels all tense. I can’t relax. I’m scared I’m going to have another day like yesterday. I have so much to do but I need to be not tired and it has to be done as I don’t have any other time. I’m feeling stressed. My chest is tight. My shoulders are tight. My body is aching.

Maybe having got this out somewhere instead of holding it I might get back to sleep.

Morning @Captain24 sweet, how are you feeling?

I’m tired. Just so so tired. @MissGremlin I got up and fed the dogs and went straight back to bed. I’m going to try and bath the dogs today. They stink from being at the beach.

Im also hoping that I can do my yards. I think once I start I should be ok. Hopefully. It’ll be the first time I’ve done it without smoking my way through it.

See how I go. I am far from up to it. But it will get me off the lounge and I’ll be away tomorrow and will have to do mum and dads Tuesday.

Im still in a really really dark place though. So sorry if I go quiet and withdraw especially after being so full on yesterday. I feel really vulnerable, raw, exposed and ashamed from it

How are you?

It’s hard to work out what works at what times @Chasingsunsets I accidentally find something without realising it and my psych picks it up and says that I have mention something similar so I put it in my safety plan. I’m lucky though as I have an amazing psych

I think there was one at work. It was sitting on a post. Everyone was pointing it out but being in the truck we couldn’t get close enough to see it properly and didn’t want to scare it.

tomorrow I have a half hour dermatologist appointment that is 2 hours each way away! Tuesday I have a psych appointment and then I go back to work on Wednesday.

What about you?

@Captain24 I hear you on being tired. Bathing the dogs sounds like a good first step for today.

I hope you're able to get your lawns done, I can imagine it will be different doing it since not smoking.

Just do what you can manage sweet, take it one step at a time.

I'm sorry you're still in a very day place and I can understand all those feelings, just know that I'm here whenever you need ❤️.

I'm really tired, sore and feeling a million different things all at once but none of them good things (I'm safe). I've just sat down to do some diamond art after I finished the one I was working on yesterday.