I can’t cope

Dear @Captain24 ,

Thank you for letting us know. I hear how difficult it must be for you.

Thank you @MissGremlin that you've been able to support.

@BAO I just don’t know how that comment was at all helpful.

I’ve just turned all the lights off in my house and having a bath by candle light with white noise going. @MissGremlin It was just something to fill the time. But maybe I’ll be tired when I get out of it. I’ve just remembered I haven’t taken my meds yet. I’ll also add to them to see if I can get to sleep quicker. It’s not healthy but it’s safe for now.

@Captain24 Hello my friend. I’ve just seen you are really struggling and I’m so very sorry to hear it.

It sounds like you’ve tried hard to find ways to feel less unwell. You’ve done so good trying all of the things you listed. How can I help? Would you like to tell me what’s on your mind? I am about to read more of what you’ve written so you don’t have to repeat yourself.

Do you have any pets at home?

@MissGremlin you’re a reLky amazing human.

@Captain24 having a bath in candle light with your white noise going sounds so relaxing. I hope it helps to make you sleepy, you deserve a good night's sleep ❤️.

Awww thankyou @Cuddlebear sweet, it's so lovely to see you here ❤️.

@Captain24 You're not a burden. You are actually very loved here and I can see how hard this is right now for you.

You mentioned you were scared to go to hospital. If we stayed online while you went to hospital and we kept in touch would that help at all?

@Captain24 Im so glad you’re having a bath with lights down, candle lightand white noise playing. It’s such a good thing to do and you deserve that calm and pamper. Yes remember to take your meds too. We’re here and hoping you do get sleep to help you. If not, we’re still here. Just a tag away.

@MissGremlin I thought I’d just check @Captain24 thread as I have it favourited. And noticed they are feeling quite unwell. You’ve been wonderful to be supportive and to sit with them.

Hi @Cuddlebear Its good to see you.

It’s been a really hard day. I’m almost at the end of it. It’s crazy how much I had to fight and then even reach out for help. I still do have that urge and need to hurt myself but after having a relaxing bath I don’t have the energy. I feel really weak and can barely lift a muscle.

Im always scared that if I go to hospital that they will keep me. The last time they just sat me in a padded room with and entire glass wall so they can see in and a security guard sat at the door and no one spoke to me or came near me. I was the only one in ED.

Im hoping that I can nod of but I did sleep a lot this afternoon to put distance between me and my urges.

How are you going?