I can’t cope

Yes, I completely understand that feeling! When you get to the 'nurture' stage, what do you find helps to soothe those sensations? @Captain24

I know your body is going through a lot right now, but it sounds like you have had some really joyful moments and found lightness in the little things. 🥰

I am glad the fur babies are playing and getting along too. How is mum?

Yes, I am assistant directing! It's been so heartwarming to watch so many young performers come through and really shine. 🥹

Have you been doing any dancing or singing at home lately? 🎶💃

Hello @MissGremlin,

I understand and I think it was incredibly brave of you to slowly let her in, so that allowing others into your space feels more comfortable over time. This is actually a really smart way to create more nervous system regulation around this - proud of you!!

I can hear how that would have felt dismissive when you were feeling quite vulnerable. Talking to someone else sounds like a good idea. Let me know how you go. 🥰

I am doing well! Looking forward to warmer days ahead. 🌞

Hello @AuntGlow, thankyou sweet ❤️.

It's been a really hard day, I had an ambulance called on me in the early hours of the morning (which wasn't necessary) and it disturbed my sleep when I was actually able to fall asleep. My thoughts really aren't great tonight, they've gone further into planning, so I've reached out to a crisis service to talk things through. I'm really exhausted from having to fight myself constantly, I'm desperate for relief and it scares me how far I'll go to get that. I'm safe for the present moment, trying to focus on my diamond art and I'm watching Buffy.

I'm glad you're doing well and that you're looking forward to those warmer days ☺️.

Thank you for sharing this with me. I am glad you have reached out to a crisis service for support. @MissGremlin 💛

Refocusing towards your diamond art and watching Buffy is a really great plan for this evening.

If possible, I would love to hear about on thing you're grateful for and one thing you're looking forward to this week?

@AuntGlow it's hard to talk to them, I can't be open cos I know I'd end up with emergency services being called on me (I'm safe for the moment).

One thing I'm grateful for is having a friend (online) that's a huge support even though we're both struggling so much we are there for each other. There's nothing to look forward to though, i can't even look ahead right now.

I understand. Maybe it could be helpful to focus on the feeling you're needing help to nurture tonight? @MissGremlin

I am so glad you have such a supportive online friend. I wonder what you could ask of your forums family? How can they support you right now?

I am thinking really small-scale here, for example, I am looking forward to my morning coffee (it just helps your mind to connect with hope). 🥰

Night beautiful @AuntGlow, thankyou for being here tonight and being caring ❤️. I'm hopping off as this isn't the place for me to be with how things are, I'm sorry (I'm safe for now).

Okay, please keep remembering to reach out to crisis supports and know that you are never alone.

I look forward to talking to you soon. 🥰 @MissGremlin 

@Captain24 I'm sorry to be sharing this on your thread sweet, but it feels safer today.

I've reached a point that I've never been at before, but I simply can't function, even doing my routine has become impossible. All yesterday I stayed in bed, I wanted to sleep but I couldn't so I just laid there. I've woken up today and cancelled the routine, I don't want to leave my bed again, I don't want to do anything. The thoughts I've been having I've never experienced before so I'm not sure how to manage them.

I feel so stuck, I keep getting asked what support would feel helpful, my response 'I don't even want support anymore, I've given up on the thought that it would ever happen'. I feel like I've given up, like I've got no fight left in me, there's just nothing, I'm empty. I really don't know what to do, I've tried everything I'd usually do, all my coping strategies, keeping connected, reaching out to a crisis service (multiple times a day/night). I'm scared, this is all new for me and I don't really have anyone that can help me navigate it, if that's even possible. Before I've always been able to keep pushing through, keep functioning even when it felt like I couldn't, I just did, but now I can't and I don't know why.

I'm safe at the moment but those 2 words are becoming harder to both say and maintain. I'm doing all the 'right' things in that I'm reaching out to the crisis service when i need to, I've told the mental health team how bad things are (not that the person seemed to understand), I have my doctors appointment tomorrow (hopefully) and I'll talk to him aswell. I just don't know what else to do 😞.

I'm trying to take things very slowly and gently, just one second and one breath at a time. I'm keeping Casper close and doing my best to find a way through this even though I'm struggling to see a future beyond each day. I needed to get this out, it's so hard to sit with alone.

@AuntGlow @Jynx @Nala2022

@MissGremlin Good morning Miss G. We're here with you. You're not alone.

I'm sorry things are so hard and heavy at the moment.

Please keep reaching out and using those tools in your toolbox. I know you are so resourceful and resilient.

Coffee? I'm going to make another...

It's a gorgeous morning...

Can you get a little sunshine?

Sending you all my best ok? I'm here with you.

Hh Xx