I can’t cope

Hey @AuntGlow

Thanks for explaining the I, I get it now and actually do it often especially with my psych.

I’m on holidays at the moment so have been a bit quiet plus I don’t seem to get the recovery focus thing right when I’m having a conversation. So it’s put me off a bit.

I hope you are doing well.

Thanks @MissGremlin

It’s getting a bit difficult with dad especially. He doesn’t want to do anything. I wanted to go to spotlight yesterday as there was a one day sale. You have no idea how hard it was as I am just the child so it doesn’t matter. He didn’t get his lunch until 1 so he wasn’t happy. I couldn’t even shop at petstock properly. I had 5 minutes!

I didn’t sleep well last night so that is hard. It makes me tired having to stay masked and work as a mediator. Hopefully it doesn’t rain today as we are going to the markets and walking around the marina and getting ice cream from mums favourite ice cream shop.

How are you going?

Yesterday was raining again. We went to do my favourite walk but it rained half way and we couldn’t keep going as there is no shelter, so we looked at and exhibition that was in and under cover! We stood there until it settled a little bit and then rushed back to the car. So that was a waste of time. Then we argued about where we were going. Dad just wanted to go to the supermarket and home but I had things I wanted to do and mum wanted to do as well. All he wants to do is sit on the lounge, read the paper, fall asleep and have the sport channel or news in. He was watching a cricket game from the 90’s!

Anyway, I went to the beach in the afternoon. There weather was 19 degrees this time but it was still so cold. The waves were really good and I enjoyed it as much as I could being so cold. I had to get out when my whole body was aching. I don’t really think this is healthy! But I’ll be going again today! I had a hot shower when I got home and had a nap.

We had some Thai for dinner after a lot of debate. Then we took the dogs down to the beach. They had an awesome time. Pix even made the other 2 run as she just bolted out in front and they had to catch her. I had to run as the other 2 leads had been dropped and I need to keep up. They all just played when Pix stopped and they caught up. The funny thing is the other 2 run and it’s Pix who needs to catch up!

We did get to see a sunset though. It wasn’t great but it was kind of ok. There has been so many way better.

The shape of the clouds looked like the front of a jet!

Morning @Captain24 sweet, I'm sorry that it's getting difficult with dad and that you're not getting to do things that you want to do, especially while you're on holiday. Are you and mum able to go out and maybe he could just stay back and relax if that's what he wants to do?

I'm hoping today goes ok for you and that you can enjoy the markets, the marina and getting ice cream. Being tired would make things so hard, i get the exhaustion of having to mask and be a mediator.

Things for me are really hard but I'm not going to put that on you while you're on holiday, my posts are on my thread if you ever want to read them, I did reply to AuntGlow here yesterday but then realised it was your thread so I'm sorry for that.

The water yesterday sounds so cold again but I'm glad you went for a swim and had a hot shower after. Surfers swim in all weather so it can't be that bad for your body and you're looking after yourself after.

It's so good to hear how well Pix is doing and how much fun all the dogs are having, plus keeping you on your toes 😂.

That sunset is still stunning, the shape of the clouds definitely looks like a jet!

Keep finding those glimmers sweet, i know it's not all peachy with mum and dad but you're doing well and I'm thinking of you ❤️.

Reply on here as much as you want it doesn’t worry me. I’m really happy to share so it’s ok. @MissGremlin

Surfers have wet suits! It’s all good. I’ll keep facing the cold. It’s a little warmer today it’s suppose to be 20 today. I have a jumper on though with shorts. I wear shorts incase we end up on a beach somewhere which happens spur of the moment with the dogs.

We are just going out now to do what mum wants so that’s good. The dogs love what we are doing so that’s good.

Im here for you whenever you need.

Thankyou @Captain24 sweet, it truly means so much ❤️.

Haha that's true! I wish I could send you the weather here today, it's going to be about 29⁰, I'm hiding inside 😂.

I truly hope it's a lovely day for you sweetheart, I look forward to reading what you got up to when you share your posts ☺️.

Oh, I am so glad to hear this! How does it usually land for you? @Captain24 💛

I understand that. Are you enjoying your break?

What do you mean re: recovery focus?

I am doing well - it's show week! 🎶

I find it mostly sits in my chest, the worse it is the tighter my chest and sometimes the pit of my stomach. @AuntGlow

I am enjoying it mostly. I’m really tired and my body is really sore. I’ve been doing a bit of running in the beach to keep up with mums dog. It’s probably only between 5-10 minutes for the whole walk but I do t walk much let alone run.

I also started a high dose of my needle yesterday so it’s taking its toll as well.

I wrote a post that was just about my day. There was nothing in it that needed to say I was safe. Then I got a response 3 posts later saying it wasn’t recovery focused as I didn’t ask the community what I need. I didn’t need anything it was just the end of a conversation. But it is always the same mod though. Maybe they just don’t like me.

Woo hoo show week!!! So so so busy and so exciting. This is the one where you are assistant director?

This morning we went to the markets, the two stalls we wanted to go to weren’t there which was sad. We did get hot fresh donuts though. I just got regular ones mum had lime ones and dad had chocolate mint. They use different sugars on them for different flavours. I may have tried something but I’ve been desperate for hot donuts. You can only get them from one place at home and they are 10 kms out of town and not opened all the time.

We then went for a walk along the marina. Pixie scared me a little as she laid in the floor of the car on the way to the marina and then walked slowly so I had to get her pram

out. She was in it for a little while and then I got her out to walk and she was much better. You can imagine the relief!

We had our ice cream that mum loves. I had chunky chocolate ice cream with mango

sorbet on top. It was really good. Then there was a discussion about lunch. I said forget me im out! It was 11:30 and there was no way I was eating anything else!

I went to the beach and the sun was out and it was a little warmer but not a lot as it was windy. The water was still freezing but I swam for a bit. I nearly got hit in the head with a surfboard. They were learning to surf in between the flags. I come up out of a wave face to face with the end of the surfboard. The guy didn’t even say sorry. I had another couple of close calls where I had to get out of the way so I just got out. I did sit in the sun for a little while and then came back here. I had a bit shower and a nap. These needles make you really tired after you have them.

The dogs went down to the beach after dinner and all had a good time. Pix was running and the other 2 had to keep up with her. Then she just wandered off and did her own thing. They ran and played and sniffed and had a good time. We got to the end and Keiko found the soft sand. Not the wet stuff and she just took off. Mum had to drop the lead and I had to bolt after her. I do t think I have ran that fast since a kid playing softball. I caught up to her as she slowed down. I thought I was going to have to chase her through the sand dunes! She had fun though. Pix ran around like and idiot and we got a video to show her vet.

The sunset wasn’t much tonight, it was pretty boring.

I’ve just climbed into bed as my body is hurting a lot. All the exercise as we are doing a lot of walking and every day on The beach I’ve had to run plus these injections and the new dose is actually double my last dose.

@MissGremlin @AuntGlow @Jynx @Nala2022 

@Captain24 that's a shame about the 2 stalls but the donuts sound so yummy 😋.

That would have been a worry with Pix but I'm so glad she picked up after a bit and then had alot of fun later at the beach with the other 2.

I'm sorry about your experience with the surfers and that you didn't even get an apology.

I hope you're able to get a good night's rest sweet, it sounds very much needed after a busy day. Lots of love and hugs to you ❤️.