I can’t cope

Hello @AuntGlow sweet, things have been pretty rough for me lately, there was a hospital trip aswell so things got intense. I'm still here though for those that think that's a good thing 😂.

I've had a few issues when trying to post, sometimes I get logged out when I press post or I've lost the post reply button when typing a long post.

It's lovely to see you around here and i hope you're doing well ❤️.

I am really, really glad to know you got support when you needed it most. @MissGremlin

The hospital trip must have felt so overwhelming for you... what helped you to get through that more vulnerable experience?

Oh, that IS frustrating!! I will pass this along, but please remember to put official feedback through as it goes straight to the tech team for them to address. Do you still have the link?

I am, thank you. 🫶

@AuntGlow I wouldn't call it support. I had police called on me, initially I was guarded and didn't want to tell them what had been going on but then I was honest so they called an ambulance and I was taken to hospital. Unfortunately the hospital experience was disappointing as I was sent home the next day with no support and still very unwell. The last week has been hell to try to get through.

What helped me though is the forums community, the couple of people including captain that stepped up for me. I do also have my online friend outside of here but she's in psychiatric herself at the moment and in another state but she was still there for me as much as she could be.

I can access the link but right now it's not a high priority for me to try to report it. I've just learnt to copy long replies before I hit post just in case I do lose it.

I'm glad to hear ❤️.

Hi @AuntGlow

All it says is reply can’t be posted. I’ve given up. I just look stupid with what I did post. I am stupid so I guess it doesn’t really matter.

Sorry I’m angry. So angry that I’m shaking.

How did your holiday go? Where did you go if you can say.

It’s actually good to see you. I don’t really see anyone any more other than MissGremlin.

Oh gosh, I am so sorry you went through this, my friend. It would have felt so scary... what do you wish went differently/what support would have been more helpful in that moment? @MissGremlin

I am so glad you had @Captain24 and your friend to turn to when you were going through this, I can imagine that would have helped you to feel more grounded and safe?

I understand and that is a really good idea! I do that too. 🫶

@Captain24 You are not stupid at all. I can see that this has been very triggering for you and I want to acknowledge that - what does this anger need right now to be released/soothed?

It was a very fun trip!! I went away to Bali with friends - it was my first time! I loved it, Balinese people are so beautiful.

Of course, it's nice to be here. I will be back again tomorrow evening for a bit longer. 🥰

@AuntGlow I needed to be kept in hospital longer, they also failed to do a bag check like they said they were going to so I still have everything. I broke down in tears after they told me that my heart rhythm was not sustainable for life, yet the doctor at the time just took my blood pressure and walked out, there was no care for how I was feeling.

I'm so glad that captain was here, i wouldn't have got through without her. I know it took alot out of her though as I do it regularly myself when people are having thoughts of suicide or have actively done things and I've had to help them through that moment safely. But it helped so much to have the connection here, she stayed with me the whole time and Nala was around for a bit aswell.

Wow, I completely hear you on this front... it sounds like they weren't attuned enough to what was really going on for you, is that right?

I think the amount you show up for others is so commendable and kind, and I think it makes sense for that energy and care to be returned when you need it most. @MissGremlin 🥰

@AuntGlow they really weren't at all. Everyday for 2 weeks I'd been doing something to myself after the medication I was put on sent me into a psychotic episode and increased the suicidal ideation. Then to be sent home with no support and to now be having headspins, migraines everyday to the point where I can't stand for more than a few minutes without feeling like I'm going to be sick, it's just horrible (I'm safe).

I'm glad i can be there for others in those moments as I know how hard it is to go through them alone. But it's so nice that this time I had others step up for me, just having someone there meant so much.

That truly does sound horrible... I am so sorry you're going through this. @MissGremlin 😣

What are some things you have been doing to nourish your nervous system since this happened? 💛

@AuntGlow I've struggled to do much at all other than lay down but then the thoughts run rampant. I've not been able to do my usual diamond art to help regulate. Today's the first day I've been able to do any properly but I'm sitting here with the headspins and the nausea just trying to not take any medications today (I'm safe).