I can’t cope

Hello @Captain24, it's so good to hear from you sweet.

I'm glad that you've had a sleep in. Haha to putting the AFL on, at least there's a good reason to. Meanwhile I've been driven nuts hearing about it on the radio 😂.

How are you going with the needles sweet?

Doing bit by bit and seeing where things are at later sounds like a good idea. Glad you've got sunshine, it's been raining here and it's nice and cool.

I've been sitting and doing my diamond art most of the day so far so I'd love to do some with you. Was just saying to Nala that I'm really not sure if this one will turn out.

Things are pretty rough here, I'm dealing with headspins, my head pounding and nausea but I'm trying to not take any medications today.

I totally don’t like AFL! I made my year nine English teacher cry because I told him I wasn’t playing unless he did league! @MissGremlin

Im sitting down to it now so we are together. What I’d really like to do is go back to bed to sleep. I know you wish you had this problem but it’s just all consuming!

Sorry it’s not turning out. This one isn’t working either. I need to try and finish it so I can send it through with the other one I did. I’m so disappointed.

I have noticed a decrease in appetite and that foods taste a little different. My friend pointed it out yesterday at lunch. She was talking about hers and then the penny dropped for me. She started losing weight from the first one. I don’t think I have but I’m allowing it to take time.

Im sorry you are doing it so hard. The migraines must be debilitating.

@Captain24 it's funny cos I used to love playing footy with the boys in school, very much the tom boy back then. Even now I still love kicking the footy around. But actually watching the game I don't like doing, I don't watch any sports.

Completely understand just wanting to go back to bed. All I've been able to do for the last week is lay down just to settle the nausea a little. Today's the first day I've been able to sit up and do my diamond art, but I'm still feeling icky.

It sucks when they aren't turning out, it's both a waste of time and money but leaving a project unfinished is hard aswell especially if you want to contact the company about it. I really wanted this one to turn it as it's a gorgeous picture, but the colours are so off.

It sounds like they're definitely starting to work especially noticing things. It will take time but I'm hoping that you start to see results soon, I know it's a huge confidence boost when you do.

They are so debilitating, I just want to feel ok.

I like playing footy with the boys too and we wanted to get a female team together but girls weren’t allowed. But it was really footy not this AFL shit! 😂 @MissGremlin

I love watching swimming! I was a swimmer back in the day and use to represent the school.

I’ll come back Kylie is on!!!

@Captain24 the days before females were accepted to play certain sports, now there's specific female teams.

Ditched for Kylie 😂. Haha enjoy watching her sweet ☺️.

Yep.. definitely ditched for Kylie. Everyone gets the same treatment when it comes to her! @MissGremlin

I don’t even know what I was saying! She certainly puts on a show.. it would have cost them heaps but totally worth it. She even did a song with G-flip. I love Kylie.. she is an amazing performer and her vocal range is amazing. She sounds so amazing in person.

That AFL shit has been turned off now!

It’s sad when they don’t turn out especially the two that I’m doing. I’m going to be pushing it to get decent ones done by Christmas. I’ve got a few things u have to do this break, a couple of appointments and stuff around the house. I also have to hem probably 10 pairs of pants so that’ll take a little while but I’m hoping around that I’ll get close to finishing Brut.

Don’t think I’ve been ignoring you. I had a big few days at work and yesterday was hectic and I’m really having trouble talking and connecting right now. All I want to do is be curled up in bed. I have no energy.

@Captain24 she's definitely an amazing performer and her voice is astounding. I was dancing to spinning around the other day, it brought back memories of the camps I used to go to and when we did discos.

It is so sad especially when it's one we really like and the custom ones shouldn't have an issue with turning out given the price of them. Hopefully you can still get a bit in between doing things.

It's completely ok sweet, i understand. I've struggled with communication aswell lately so I get it. I'm always here sweet, even if it's just to sit with you in silence ❤️.

Oh… I’m so old… I was at the pubs then and not as a teenager! @MissGremlin

I have lots of Kylie on my playlists! When she first started Australia didn’t really like her so I got heaps for being a proud Kylie supporter. Now it’s different!

My dogs are going off!! My groceries are just being delivered!

Sorry I left for a bit mum rang to see what I thought of it!

It is sad. I really hope they can do something with them after what I paid for them.

I don’t know how to describe what I feel. My physical health and fatigue are really getting me down and so is work. I feel broken but it’s a different broken. It’s like there is still good as everything else is pretty fine. It’s really strange. It’s not like my world is going to end or anything and I’m quite content right now. Feeling a little off after my needle though!

As for talking I just feel it to be difficult. It’s not a depression thing I think it’s a tired thing. Like it’s an effort that I just don’t have the energy for. Plus I did do a bit yesterday. I’m not depressed, it’s weird. I really need my psych appointment but I just can’t afford it. I need her to help me understand.

I don’t know if any of that makes sense? Most trying to let you know how it is and not worry about me.

Are you still diamond arting or getting dinner ready? Are you alone?

@Captain24 haha you're not old 😂. Theres only 10 years difference between us!

I'm not a huge Kylie fan but there's songs that I do like from her, ones that bring back good memories. One of my ex's was a huge fan of her, shares her birthday aswell. Unfortunately cos of the trauma in that relationship I get triggered when I hear some of her music.

It's ok sweet, I'm glad you got to talk to your mum for a bit.

I really hope they can do, it's incredibly disappointing given the cost of them.

It sounds like things are a bit conflicting. I know work is a huge struggle especially with how some people there are treating you.

There's times where I struggle with communication but at the same time need connection. You've just come off of your shifts at work and caught up with your friend, I know that would have taken alot out of you even though I know you are glad that you can be there for her. Maybe you could email your psych those thoughts/feelings?

I'm alone, currently laying down as the headspins and nausea was getting too much. It's horrible that even laying down doesn't stop my head from spinning.

10 years is not much now but at that age it’s like a lifetime! 😜 @MissGremlin

Your ex’s birthday is 4 days after mine! Just saying.

I’ve emailed my psych that I can’t afford her appointments this fortnight and that I’m broken but I’ll see what happens. We don’t really email stuff much. I do send random ones when I’ve had an extremely proud moment though.

It is so conflicting. I’m thinking that this may actually be normal with what’s going on. That it may make normal people feel the same. I don’t know. I really can’t describe it very well. I don’t have anyone to talk to that would actually get it. Maybe if the PSW’s were around like they use to be it would be helpful to get their take on it. But that’s a past life now and will never be the same.

Im glad you are alone. I don’t know if this is the same but sometimes when I have head spins and they don’t stop I lay on the bed with my foot on the floor for grounding. It use to help a little as something was on the ground.

How long are you alone for?