I can’t cope

I need help after nala left yesterday. It was a lot on my own and I didn’t even know what to say @MissGremlin

Iy was nice. I’ve dried my hair now and I’m about to start on dinner.

Is the other one not as bright or completely different? You need to focus on what is more enjoyable for yourself for now and if it’s the bright one then that’s what you should do.

You must be close to bed by now.

@Captain24 i can completely understand. Just know that you simply being there meant so much yesterday.

I'm glad you've dried your hair and are about to start dinner.

The other one isn't really bright at all and I wasn't enjoying it so I'll put it to the side and do this one.

I'm doing my routine but it's just become complete chaos here as people decide to be disrespectful. So now I'm overwhelmed on top of those heavy feelings (still safe).

Sorry. I was busy. I’ve cooked dinner, eaten, done the dishes and fed the dogs! @MissGremlin

Now it’s time for bed.

Sorry that happened. I guess it’s hard. Breathe yourself through it.

O hope you are enjoying your bright diamond art.

I hope you sleep well. I might see you tomorrow night if I have time.

@Captain24 all good sweet. I hope you're able to get a good night's sleep and that work goes ok tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you, night night sweetheart ❤️.

Been thinking of you today @Captain24 sweet ❤️.

Wanted to share something i found at kmart when I went to the shops today, no idea how it will turn out or if I'll be able to build it but I guess we'll find out 😂.

I’m just about to climb into bed @MissGremlin

I hope today has been kind to you.

That it’s awesome! I hope the instructions are better than the ones Ive got! You have e to be very careful and gentle. The pieces break easily!

I want to know how you go when you do it!

@Captain24 I hope you can get a good night's sleep sweetheart ❤️.

Today has been anything but kind to me 😂. Just thankful to be in bed now and hoping tonight's a better night sleep wise.

I'll let you know how I go with it when I decide to start it.

@Captain24 I wanted to share something with you. Today I've not had any thoughts of suicide which is completely strange for me, I know the days not over yet. But I'm feeling like I'm on a little high, my mood has been ok even despite my doctors appointment and a trip to the shops. Thinking it counts as a win I reckon ☺️.

Hope work is going ok for you, thinking of you sweet ❤️.

I just got home. Not sure how long I’ll be up @MissGremlin

Thats amazing! It feels so weird doesn’t it. Focus on that feeling and know that you felt it. You’ve had it. It exists. It can come from nowhere.

@Captain24 I'm glad you're home sweet. How are you feeling?

It really does feel strange, it's still mostly been ok for the rest of the evening. Feeling a little stress though as bedtime routine doesn't go as smoothly as I hoped it would but I'm sitting in bed now.

I've got a really busy week, went out yesterday with 1 to get some things, then had doctors appointment this morning and went out with the 2nd, tomorrow I have a follow up appointment from the ED to check levels in my blood then another shopping trip with the 3rd one, Thursday I have the sleep study appointment to get the results, Friday is a normal routine day and then the weekend to myself, Sunday mental health team are coming out to hopefully put some things in place including more support worker time with another worker. It's really full on, it feels overwhelming but at the same time things are getting done.

I managed to build 3 Lego type things today aswell. I haven't stopped but I'm feeling ok about it oddly enough. Could do without the constant headspins but I think that's just cos the medication is coming out of my system.