I can’t cope

@Captain24 have a good rest sweet. Sending hugs ❤️

It was good. @MissGremlin

Ive done some more diamond art and my

dinner has just cooled. I’ll eat and go back to my diamond art and hopefully finish that section before I feed the dogs.

Sorry I wasn’t around when you wanted me @MissGremlin I just needed to sleep. I’ll do my best not to again

@Captain24 you have nothing to apologise for sweetheart, I'm glad you got some rest.

What did you have for dinner?

It's been crazy here, there's a house fire just across from me so the smell of smoke is quite strong.

I've been trying to sleep but my body is fighting it even though I'm completely exhausted, my body is shaking. I've fought so hard to get through the day but now I'm scared to let my guard down. The thoughts and visualisations have been coming with such intensity that everything else goes blank and I feel a loss of control, like something else takes over.

It got too much earlier so I reached out to a crisis service but after talking to the person and telling them that I was having thoughts of ending my life and that I really wanted to act on them, they said that it wasn't appropriate for the service and they ended the chat. It really confused me as the whole idea is to be able to talk about those thoughts/feelings, it took so much courage to reach out so that hurt alot.

I'm safe, even though I'm struggling to feel it cos my body and mind are in fight/flight mode. I'm laying in bed, snuggled up with Casper. I was watching my TV show but I was starting to doze off so I turned it off but now I'm struggling to sleep. I just needed to get this out.

You’re very welcome @Captain24, it was lovely chatting with you too!

I’m glad you were able to get some things off your mind and hopefully those memories are still putting a little smile on your face 😊

The walk was really lovely. The magpies behaved themselves too thankfully 😂

I hope you’ve been doing okay over the last couple of days and that you’ve had some good moments along the way 💛

Yay! You found it! @MissGremlin And for only $4.49 too, that's a great bargin. I’m glad you managed to get out and find your book 😊

How are you doing today? I hope you’ve been doing okay and that things have been feeling a little easier for you 💛

Morning @Nala2022, I was so excited to find the book, I wasn't going to go there but I pushed through the anxiety and I'm glad I did.

Things haven't been good, yesterday was so hard and the night got really intense, I didn't know if I was going to make it through it. I'm still struggling with those thoughts and urges, they hit the second I woke up. I'm not sure what to do, if I can ride this out, if it's going to settle. The dose I'm on isn't even enough for use as an antidepressant so I shouldn't be getting these side effects. I'm safe, I'm very slowly doing my morning routine and I made a cuppa.

How are you doing sweet?

I’m glad you did too, and even more so that you pushed through the anxiety and went to get the book. I know that wouldn’t have been easy, and you should be proud of yourself for doing it anyway

I’m really sorry things have been so difficult, especially after such an intense night. I can understand how scary it must feel when you don’t know whether things are going to settle. For now, try to take it one moment at a time rather than getting caught up in what might or might not happen. You’re already doing something really important by taking things slowly, working through your morning routine and doing what you can to keep yourself safe @MissGremlin 💛

I’m doing okay. I’m just about to make myself an iced latte 😊

@Nala2022 it was a little achievement.

I'm trying so hard to take it one moment at a time, it's just incredibly tough. I don't even feel comfortable reaching out to the crisis service after having 2 very bad experiences yesterday that left me feeling worse. I just want a chance to catch my breath, a few moments relief from the thoughts/urges, when it's constant it wears you down (I'm safe).

I'm glad you're doing ok, an iced latte sounds perfect 😋. Did you get up to anything over the weekend?