I can’t cope

Wondering how I can best support ypu over the next 50min until the call @Captain24 ?

And its because I want to.

I would step back if that was what i wanted - but its not what i want.

And i dont care if you dont ever have any capacity to support me in exchange. I see your heart and your personality and I like you, and that makes me want to help you without any expectation of returned support. 🥰 i like helping friends and people who are appreciative.

Thankyou @Ru-bee, I've tagged PSW's a couple of times recently but got no response. For me it just feels like I'm a bother and a burden so then I won't do it. To tag and not get a response hurts me more than it does to just not tag and not expect a reply. I'm just doing my best to keep connected with the community and help as much as I can even when inside I truly feel completely broken (I'm safe). But at least supporting others makes me feel like I've got a purpose and that maybe I belong somewhere.

Thankyou for your responses today, I hope you have a good rest of your day ❤️.

@Captain24 always happy to be here for you sweet, cos I choose to be. I care about you and all my forums friends on here. I really hope your appointment with your psych goes ok sweetheart ❤️.

💜💜 @Ru-bee

I know the PSWs that have been helping, supporting and encouraging us care and that you are doing as much as you can.

I think about best wording and put it on different thread regarding changes.

Due to these recent changes, whatever they are, it feels PSWs (as a group) are not being able to be on the forums like we’re able to last year and previously.

more and more I see posts from new people/casual contributors being responded to and support etc being provided to them by senior contributors.

as I said, know that PSW’s are being there for everyone as much as they can. Couple of Mods are being there and supporting us also. It’s not knowing how many days it might take before PSW are able to see a post from someone who needs their level of support

I tagged a specific PSW recently, took about a week for a reply. I’m left guessing it’s new rostering that has PSWs hardly on the forums anymore. Idk. All I know is it’s not right. To be in midst of conversation with a PSW and then have to wait for days and days for them to next be rostered onto the forums….

. I’m stopping before I say thing/s that get me in trouble again and my posts blocked

Thank you. I’ve set up my laptop and just waiting for the time to tick by. She knows I’m in distress as I told her I was crying. She has seen me cry in hospital and even sat with me after groups had started and was late!

She does know that I don’t like to cry and stop myself. I’m just scared that I’m being to needy after only seeing her yesterday. I’ve let her down. I’ve let myself down.

I can’t say enough how much I appreciate you all when I’m just not capable to do it in return. I do care about you all and I don’t like that you are all suffering to and I’m just adding to it.

My heart hurts. I have chest pain and it’s deep inside. Not medical! I don’t need attention! I’m not laying in hospital for hours on an ecg machine again anyway.

I have no energy. I still haven’t changed tops. I’m out of bed though. But I’ve still got time for that. She will be late anyway. ADHD!!! Loses track of time! I totally get that though.

I’m not making any sense. I’m really scattered and all over the place. I want to hold my dogs but it’s too hot for them. It’s 42 depress, the air conditioner is on but I think the heat changes the atmosphere in the air and they can feel it. Both are laying on their sides like they do when they are hot.

@AlwaysMyself @MissGremlin

I’d support that @Flutterbug9 but the button isn’t working.

That was well said. Well worded around the level of care. That’s what I wanted to say but couldn’t get the right words.

(((Hugs))) @Captain24

You are not adding to my struggles at all @Captain24 . Actually, you are currently distracting me from my own - which is a great thing for me! 😁

I don't see it as been "needy" (but I can also relate to feeling these things sometimes myself too) - you are having a hard time. I am so proud you reached out to ask for extra support. I hope the psych is proud of you too - I reckon she should be.

My psych also offered to me last week that I could message her during a bad day to see if she had any availabilities that day in addition to our normal weekly appointments. I hope sharing this helps you not feel "needy" in a bad way, and know that you are not alone in needing increased support at times, and psychs understand this (and if they don't... then maybe they're not the right person for complex or severe MH?) - I am pretty confident you psych understands this from what you've said about her and her making time for you.

I'm sorry to hear that you've felt unsupported @MissGremlin you definitely deserve support and do such an amazing job of supporting others on here 💜

@Flutterbug9 you're right, the PSWs are on less as we learn other areas of the service too. Our rosters are still being worked out as we settle into these new roles and we have more staff being trained on the forums (which is something I think is positive, there are some seriously wonderful new people coming on here). I completely understand how not knowing when you're going to get a reply would be difficult. I don't know that I have an answer to that right now but it something we can feed back and talk about as a team.

@Captain24 thinking of you, I'll be off by the time your session finishes but I hope it all goes okay

I glad I’m a distraction @AlwaysMyself. I actually wish I didn’t need to be for both of us!

How did your appointment go? Was that the Medicare one?

She won’t see it as needy, she will know how much distress I’m in with the fact that I actually emailed her. I don’t usually reach out. I’m glad you counsellor was the same. With my work roster and her only doing 2 days a week it’s hard to sort out appointments. It was suppose to be three weeks before I seen her again. But now it’ll be twice by then. I am ashamed that I need her though.

I am ashamed at the way I’m feeling, I am ashamed that I have spent the day in bed, I am ashamed that I have cried most of the afternoon, I am ashamed at my distress on here.