I can’t cope

Defs keep me in the loop! @tyme. I get the over socialising! That just all sounds too overwhelming for me.

So she won’t even let you work in peace? She is so attached to you. You are such a softy. Can you so no to the other 2?

@Captain24 I'm glad it's cooled down at the moment, it's been nice here today aswell. I can hear your worries for the hot days that are coming up and I can imagine how scary it is with Pix and what happened previously. I'm hoping she can stay cool enough on Sunday and I'm glad that you'll be off for the other days so you can keep an eye on her.

I’d come but I have to sleep. Thanks for the invite! 😜 @tyme

Hahaha you have the story right but it was rescripted into that. I was in the backyard and mum was telling us she hated us and dint want us anymore and was sending us away so she never had to see us again. The rescript, was my psych came to the gate and told my mum to stop and then took me to Nan and pops house! You have a really good memory though! I’m impressed at how closely you remembered it.

It was hot during the day @MissGremlin. I sat outside the meal room in the sun, it was so nice. Everyone was telling me I was crazy but I lived it. I walked into the meal room to call on the 2 way and it was cold in there!

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@Captain24 wrote:

Defs keep me in the loop! @tyme. I get the over socialising! That just all sounds too overwhelming for me.

So she won’t even let you work in peace? She is so attached to you. You are such a softy. Can you so no to the other 2?

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It is overwhelming and that's why I'm working and chatting so that I don't have to connect with the emotions lol.

The eldest so super attached to me. We have fun together, but I'm also very strict. But yes, she drives me bonkers!

The other two are happy go lucky. You can have them at home together and they will play nicely and help each other. As soon as the eldest is around, it's all hell breaks loose... the eldest doesn't get along with them

The firecracker was screaming tonight. She said I threw out her paper. I asked, "What paper? I didn't throw any paper!"

She said, "It says tomorrow I have to give out the zooper doopers"... she's so cute. That's her 'job' tomorrow. @Captain24

Yes! That is the exact story! I still have the image in my mind! @Captain24 There is a garden, a gate and a protector (nan and pop's)...

not to mention the Mars bar.. that' goes back YEARS now! @Captain24

@Captain24 I'm glad you enjoyed sitting in the sun. I just don't cope in the heat, I find the sun too bright for my eyes aswell.

You’re so funny! At least we are distracting you. @tyme. Just remember that it’s only a couple of hours as you have work.

Im glad you are strict with her. You do need some boundaries.

Oh the fire cracker keeps me entertained! I had a girl that use to come to dancing and she was always naughty but loved me so was reasonably good. I use to give her a small job, something as simple as putting the fairy wands away from the baby ballet class just before hers. She would think this was really special and would be a saint for the whole class!

Normally that story would trigger me but with Nan and pop being part of it it lessens the sting so much!

Yes that Mars Bar. That was a really long time ago! I still do it though and every time I have a mars bar I think of him!

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@Captain24 wrote:

Thanks @Jynx.

I actually wish there was someone in my life that I could be open and honest with that would hear me and hold me. But there is no one.

I just want it to stop. I struggle to verbalise (or write) how it’s actually feeling. It’s just really deep down inside and hurts. It’s all consuming. It’s constant. Nothing lessens it. I’m that far down that I don’t have SI as I just don’t have the energy. I know I’m not making any sense.

How are you?

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Maybe we can't hold you physically @Captain24 but it doesn't mean you're not precious to us all! I am hearing how overwhelming it is, down to the core. I think sometimes when it feels so all-consuming it can feel impossible to see a light or a pathway forward. But even in those moments where you can't see that light, we are all here rooting for you and holding you and holding onto that hope for you 💜

I'm chugging along ok, just busy busy and taking in lots of new info haha. Brain make big fog 😂

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@Captain24 wrote:

Jett is sitting next to me and Pix has gone down to my room so I’m guessing she is on my bed. It’s cooled down here a lot so Pix is doing ok. I’m really stressed about Sunday as it’s suppose to be 42 and mum has them all day. She doesn’t have the air conditioning that I have so Pix is going to get way overheated and I’m scared that they will take her out for a walk and that she will die. @MissGremlin. The hotter days are my days off so I will have control over how she is looked after and the control of the house temperature.

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Aww @Captain24 totally understand the worry after everything that happened with Pix last year!! Have you been able to chat to your mum about ensuring that she doesn't go out in the heat with your pups? Maybe giving a list of detailed instructions? Encourage her to give them a cold bath or something? I keep my fingers crossed for your pups esp Pix to be well looked after in the horrible heat!! 🤞

I can’t see the light or any hope. @Jynx. I’m just doing my best to remember that this has happened before, it’s not easy though, each time seems harder. At the same time I’m thinking it will happen again. That’s the negative side.

Thank you for saying I’m precious. That makes my tummy do little jumps. To think someone cares about me like that. It actually helps a little.

All the training causing fog or other stuff?

I’ve told them to put wet hand towels in the freezer to put on her belly to cool her down. I’ve asked that they don’t walk her on Sunday night. The next 2 days are suppose to be really hot too. She does go in the pram with an ice pack though. But I don’t really want her out at all. I am a little scared but I keep reminding mum of that day and how scared she was. It could just as easy happen to her dog too.