I can’t cope

Hey @Flutterbug9 to you too! Great to see you here.

It's amazing that you have all been able to provide each other support @MissGremlin @Captain24 @Flutterbug9

Peer support is so powerful.

Thank you all for being YOU.

It was really busy which was good @MissGremlin

It didn’t stop my thoughts though. They are just constant. It just doesn’t stop. The second I’m not distracted everything comes flooding back in.

Like I’m home and have had dinner but I am just so defeated and lost. It’s all back to the same as I have been feeling. I’m sitting in the lounge needing to get up and have a shower but I can just barely move.

Ho was your day.

Not real good @Flutterbug9

Pix and Jett aren’t home yet so the place is peaceful!

How was your day?

I hear there has been lots of training. @tyme. I’m struggling with the idea of change around here.

I did go to work. It was really busy but my thoughts don’t stop and my mood doesn’t lift. I have to try really hard to mask it.

20 is so many!!! What are you going to do with them all?

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@Flutterbug9 wrote:

What’s happening tomorrow @tyme

training others can be tiring work. Sending hugs and wishes for a long, restful sleep tonight

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I invited 6 kids over on Wed. We had so much fun at the park, pool, bike riding and making jumps so I invited 20+ ppl over for tomorrow lol.

We can continue building their Minecraft 'Survival' fort at the park on mounds of bark that the council have placed lol.. not sure the council will bless us.

Isn't it great just to be a kid?

Hey @AuntGlow

Thank you.

It’s a really tough patch that I’m going through. I suffer with general depression but bipolar depression is something so different. It’s hard to describe the difference though. You just know it in your gut and heart.

She was amazing and I actually got a call from the medical centre with an appointment. Her letter must have been serious.

My next steps are just trying to put on foot in front of the other. Coping from one minute to the next. It’s pretty much a waiting game for it too lift.

All I need is to be heard and held

I'm struggling with the changes too because I don't really know what it will be like. Just know I'm still around. It's just my hours are a bit different sometimes @Captain24

Tomorrrow, we are just going to hang out, ride bikes with the kids and stuff. We had so much fun on Wed so I wanted to do it again, and extended the invite to more people... it's just that when you start inviting one, then there's more and more to invite. I think we are up to 30 ppl now.

I just plan to be a kid... bike ride, jump in the pool, and build forts.

I’ve been stressing that you’ll leave @tyme. 0ddisidian left 😢. I was scared you wouldn’t come back from holiday with all the changes.

That does sound like a lot of fun, finding your inner child!

Please send me a message and let me know how it goes. I’m on nightshift for the next 3 nights so I won’t be around but I love checking my phone in the mornings to see who thought of me. Also watch your notifications cause I will respond.

What are your plans for tonight when you finish? Is your niece still all over the place e with jet lage?

@Captain24 oh sweet that's tough when the thoughts are constant.

I hear you sweet and I can relate to that defeated and lost feeling. Sending you some motivation to have a shower, you've got this sweet ❤️.

My day has been a bit all over the place. I'm sitting here dozing off but I feel it's a bit early to go to sleep. I just feel very off at the moment which worries me that maybe my heart is playing up (I'm safe and will call for help if i need to). I'm just resting on my lounge with Casper.

I’m in for a really rocky ride @tyme

When I have called a crisis line in these episodes they ask what triggered it, I just say it’s bipolar and then they get it and listen differently. The second I say bipolar it all changes but in a good way.

Have you had heart issues in the past?

I have sometimes found that if I push through the ‘doze’ stage that it’s then harder for me to go to sleep. Maybe you could try for a little bit of rest and see what happens?