I can’t cope

Hi @Paperdaisy

Hopefully it gets easier.

I’ve emailed my MH nurse. I have a therapist appointment tomorrow but she doesn’t seem to be working out. Then I have a psychiatrist app on Thursday. So I’m trying everything I can.

Thanks

I’m getting ready to take Pixie for her second walk today. She will be happy as she will probably see her boyfriend that’s visiting. I should be looking forward to walking with his mum as she is a good friend but I just feel nothing. I really don’t like this feeling of emptiness and nothingness. It’s eerie and scary. I just don’t care for anything.

Hey @Captain24 !

How's the walk?

I'm on tonight if you need a chat 🙂

I feel like I haven't been on in yonks 🙂 I'll share a cuppa with you later 🙂

tyme

Hi @tyme .

Pixie enjoyed the walk and got to play with her little Pomeranian boyfriend. She went swimming in the flood waters. So she had a ball.

As for me it was just a walk. I just don’t feel anything. I did email my nurse yesterday with my nothingness. She said that it’s not good and we will discuss it with psychiatrist.

How have you been?

Hey @Captain24 , I've been a little here and there. Just plodding along with what life throws at me.

I'm glad Pix met his bf lol. Too funny.

You are such an inspiration @tyme. You give me hope that one day I’ll be able to take things in my stride.

Did you get all your things done last week that were filling your head?

You should see Pix and Gus together it’s just the sweetest thing. When they spot each other they run towards each other like a really bad romantic comedy! Pix got bitten by a green ant on the walk yesterday and was licking her foot and Gus helped her lick it!

Hey my dear @Captain24 ,

Yes, time has taken care of my filled up head. I have been tired the last few nights from not sleeping the best. Last night I had a really good sleep 🙂

In terms of you feeling pretty average, I'm wondering if that is a medicine-related thing or a personality disorder thing?

It took me years to get out of that feeling. It was an feeling of emptiness and void...like I didn't feel anything...

I'd be interested to see what the psychiatrist says - but then again, they mainly deal with meds.

By the way, I am imagining Pix and Gus.... too cute.

Hot choc tonight for you?

A good sleep makes a big difference @tyme Im glad you got it all sorted.

Hopefully something can be worked out as to what this emptiness is. I could do something that I shouldn’t and not even care. Plus I discussed something from my past on another thread last night that I thought I’d dealt with but it did bring back unwanted memories.

I could do with a hot choc.

I have a big day tomorrow. I have to go to a training day and there will be 60+ people in one room for 8 hrs. So it’s a bit daunting. Apparently there is a safety section and a mental health section. I have to leave early to go to the psychiatrist and then I’m suppose to be at a dinner tomorrow night. I don’t know that I’ll be able to make the dinner. It’s going to be a very overwhelming day and then I don’t get a chance to recover as I go back to work Friday.

Sorry that’s a lot to unload.

That's a lot to unload, but it's also good to get it off your chest @Captain24 .

Yes, sleep plays a HUGE part in my MH. Particularly since I've been an insomniac... at least it is now pretty much under control. It's made my MH a lot better.

As for the training. Having 60 people is kindda good because you can mingle and 'disappear' into the crowd. The difficult ones are the 6 people ones where EVERYONE has to speak and talk lol.

However, I hear that it can be daunting for you - just the fact that you have to put up a 'front' for that many hours? The used to be the most tiring thing for me. I'd have to pretend all day, so that by the time I got home, my family saw the worst of me because the barriers came down.....

I remember I'd work 10.5 hours and be totally 'okay' (or so it seems). Then as soon as I came home, I'd cry, lash out, get angry....

So just know that tomorrow will be mentally draining, and be prepared that coming home might be a challenge. If you have this understanding, then you can prepare for it. You also know you have to go to sleep after the event tomorrow because you have the work the next day. Which may mean the facade and barriers don't come down until Saturday?

I'll be around...you can hang around here lol

tyme

I’m trying to not anticipate it but be prepared at the same time. @tyme .

Im scared as to when I’ll fall, and how hard, as I have to work Saturday and Sunday as well. Im hoping that this nothing feeling actually works in my favour!

The last time I pushed myself to far I had to fight with myself to stay safe.