I can’t cope

Hi @Bow !! 🤗😽

I'm doin pretty alright! Been a lil while, I've had some annual leave recently which was super nice. How are you?

I’ve spoken to my boss and I have to go to work @Jynx @Bow . I told him I’m not ok and haven’t slept well so I will have a buddy for the night to keep me distracted and safe. He has also put me in the water cart which means I can do as much or as little as I feel. I am lucky he is so good.

I’m still anxious about going and actually getting there as I don’t know what roads are closed until I get to them.

Im just hoping is the fact that I didn’t get much sleep and that it’s been pelting down rain.

Thanks for your support guys. I will be taking my phone into work. So I know that I have you guys when I need you

Oh nice @Jynx did you get up to anything on your leave?

im doing ok. In hospital at the moment though, been here 2 weeks, ED got bad- having NG feeds. But slowly getting there. D’s birthday on Wednesday so trying hard to get out for that!

So glad you have a good boss @Captain24 who sounds understanding and who has put things in place to reduce risk to you.

there is an app you can download that tells you what roads are closed? Not sure how affective it is out your way though.

It’s raining here too…. I can’t hear it…. But did go for a bit of a wander this arvo and found a window.

@Captain24 Oh yay for your boss - having that care and understanding in your place of employment really makes all the difference in the world doesn't it? And definitely glad you can keep us in your pocket 😉

Also if it is feasible, never underestimate the power of a 15 minute rest. I learned (from Mythbusters I think?) that even if you don't sleep, you will still feel more benefit from a brief rest where you shut out as much sensory input as you can, than you would if you just pushed through. This was a game changer for me cos I struggle with insomnia and could never actually nap, which used to stress me out! So now instead of having a power nap, I call it a power down, and it really does help stave off the worst of the super sleepy brain struggles.

I hope you are able to just take it one step at a time hey - I believe in you, you got this!

@Bow aww hectic! I am very glad you're getting lots of care though, and fingers crossed you will be able to get out to celebrate with your little one! And I guess even if you don't, you getting this care n support for your physical and mental wellbeing will mean that you will have many more opportunities to celebrate with your daughter in the future.

For my leave I spent a couple days doing very little (much needed!) caught up with some friends, went for a wilderness walk, went to karaoke with my work mates, and started learning how to play solo D&D!

Sounds like you made the most of your leave @Jynx but what’s D&D??

@Bow it's a role playing game called Dungeons and Dragons! You create a character who is adventuring through a magical world, and use dice to determine the various events and encounters, as well as determine whether actions you take are successful. It's super nerdy but also super fun once you get used to the game mechanics!

Hi All

Ive been a bit quiet as I haven’t been ok and thought it was best to stay off here.

Saturday night at work I got buddied up with someone but it was a long night. It was suppose to help but I could even make much conversation. I just felt low, flat and lonely which makes no sense.

In the way home from work yesterday morning, I was 5 mins from town and the road was flooded. It was either risk it and drive through or do an hr trip around through another town. So I drove through. As I was driving through the water started to take my car but I didn’t even care. I didn’t care what happened. That was a bit scary.

Last night I still didn’t want to go to work but the road wasn’t flooded anymore so I had too. It was a long night alone and I just couldn’t get out of my head. I’m lonely if I’m with someone and I’m lonely on my own. It was better being alone though as I didn’t have to try and make small talk.

Work is usually my safe place but at the moment the thought of going fills me with dread. At least I now have 2 days off.

Im so tired of this head game. I’ve had enough. I’m tired of feeling low. I’m tired of feeling hollow.

Sorry for the ramble.

Hey @Captain24 Things are really hard right now, but they won't always be.

Are you reaching out to your professional supports? 💝