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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor16 June 2022, 9:48 pm AEST

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

tymeModerator05 Oct 2022, 9:34 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

Fair enough @Bow - you're welcome to read on, or join us over at your Share a cuppa? thread 🙂

I'd love to have you.

In response to: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor05 Oct 2022, 9:45 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

I don’t think my moods are stabilising. @tyme Actually it’s pretty obvious isn’t it! Lol.

I am really lucky with my team the nurse is in constant contact with the psychiatrist and my GP. I can also call my GP anytime, during business hours obviously. She said today that I seemed ok and booked an app for 2 weeks but if I crash and feel I need an app before just to call her and she will fit me in!

It’ll be interesting with HR to see what happens tomorrow. I’m just assuming it was all talk and she will forget but I’ll just have to wait and see. She should have time to catch up. It’s been raining since about 8 and it’s still raining with more expected tomorrow. So the roads at work will be a mess and maybe there won’t be much running.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator05 Oct 2022, 9:54 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 wrote:

I don’t think my moods are stabilising. @tyme Actually it’s pretty obvious isn’t it! Lol.

@Captain24 - this is precisely why, from the beginning, I questioned bipolar/meds (I'm not doctor though! I only know from my experience of a decade on bipolar meds which i didn't need!....)

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor05 Oct 2022, 9:57 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

You’ve know all along where this was headed did you! @tyme You’re not surprised at all

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator05 Oct 2022, 10:01 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

Yes @Captain24 . But I have absolutely no authority or right to say it straight out. As I said, I'm not qualified 🙂

But at least you didn't have to wait a decade!

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor05 Oct 2022, 10:04 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

I just have to wait and see you the psychiatrist has to say. @tyme. It must be hard to ‘know’ but not be able to actually say anything. You should become Dr @tyme ! Lol

You’re right I am lucky it’s not 10 yrs

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

creative_writerSenior Contributor06 Oct 2022, 8:22 am AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 I feel like it’s tricky with bipolar medication. It can take a while to find the right combination. I did feel pretty stabilised at one point but obviously that’s not the case right now. Sometimes meds have to be changed, sometimes there are also other MI in the picture that also need to be explored in therapy. Otherwise with bipolar you also have to think outside the box too, having a routine, healthy lifestyle and consistent sleep helps.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor06 Oct 2022, 8:07 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

I am so confused and overwhelmed about what is going on with me that I’m mentally exhausted @creative_writer

I learnt a knew price of equipment at work today and the trainer said I was doing well. I, of course don’t believe him and my fear of failure is getting in the way. We are expecting 40 mil of rain tomorrow and I’m scared that they are going to put me back in it tomorrow night in the heavy rain and dark. I want to learn it and I want to be good at it as it will lead to other gear. In my heart I know I can do it but my head is telling me I’ll be useless at it.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator06 Oct 2022, 8:12 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

That's a great achievement @Captain24 ! They haven't asked YOU for nothing. If they knew you wouldn't be able to do it, would they bother training you in the beginning?

Also, did you get to speak to HR today?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor06 Oct 2022, 8:21 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

Its a massive achievement. It’s a little loader @tyme at least my heart knows I can do it. So it is a start. I just need my head to sort itself out.

I didn’t get to see HR. She wasn’t in her office when I went there. I’ll have to see her Friday if I can. We have a training day Thursday so she may be there.

How has your day been?

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.