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sick of myself

sick of myself

ive been MIA lately. just so ashamed of myself for getting so low again. for being so useless to everyone around me. i'm so confused and lost in my life. ive been on this merry go round for 3 years since seperating frm my ex of court and appeals and family court mud slinging matches. it doesnt end and im suddenly so angry with it all and ive never really felt anger before and im terrified of it. people tell me that i need to hold on and that all that external stuff 'will end'... its been 3 years.. and at least family court wise we havent even started that properly yet. i cant envisage coping through another 3 years of this and being told that it 'will end' is just agh! im so confused with this anger that is just bubbling under the surface at the moment. i dont know what to do with it and when i start to 'get angry' i immediately start to remember horrific things where others were angry and shut off into some bad space with the movies running over and over in my head. i feel like i go from almost about to explode in anger to this pathetic terrified whimpering child. i'm scared all the time that its going to happen again. my physical health is on the rocks though mostly the drs just say im run down and my mental health is not helping and could be contributing etc. which is all true but doesnt really lead to anything getting better. and sleep is non existant. my pyschiatrist wanted me to use meds and i told him i'd tried them and they dont work and he laughed as though i was lying (not unkindly.. hes actually quite nice) and i wont take the other stuff he seems to love... but makes me feel so much worse during the day. it kind of doesnt help that its holidays i think because i lose the... routine that work forces me to stick to. and my kids are with their dad for the longest time yet and not speaking to them for so long is just awful.

i was getting by before by focussing on the next important thing that i had to do, whether it was get dressed, make lunches, get in the car, plan lesson, talk to... etc i just had everything down to this focus on one thing next. but i havent been able to keep up with any more than that andnow theres so much more piling in that is overwhelming me completely. house is a disaster area, but probably cluttered densely enougn now that we'd survive a nuclear attack (see i can sstill see a silver lining). my blood pressure problems and dizziness may mean i cant drive if it keeps happening. we wont cope with that. my brain looks at stuff and just doesnt compute it. i cant concentrate or make myself do that things that i know need doing. i started the dishes an hour ago but got as far as filling the sink and washing one plate before i just got distracted and ended up back in my chair. im just so utterly usefless at the moment and theres just nothing of me left.

lj

110 replies

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In response to: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

gah!!! so much happening,, but so many unknowns and feeling so completely unsure of everything. i want to run away from everything because i just don't know what's happening in any part of these things. waiting to hear when the officials that are in charge of the court case actually want to meet with me to discuss whats going on (i dont want to meet them, talk about it... but need a date and time so that at least i know when its happening!). I don't know when or if the community health worker wants to see me, maybe they dont i dont know! i dont know whats happening with my work stuff next year really an the stuff i do know is stressing me out. i dont even know if i want to go back next year. there is so much to do at work at the moment. so much due at the moment. meetings to go to and plans to write for next yaer and im barely coping with this year and the day to day stuff...feeling paranoid kind of about comm health worker not following up, im not sure if theyre upset with me, or if there is something else wrong. but its just another thing. and im meant to be staying in the here and now to get through everything but it's just impossible tonot worry and think about everything.

i keep wondering if life will ever get any easier, less complicated. i feel like i am bouncing from feeling like i can keep going and coping, to feeling like theres no future... to just being numb or just flat and apathetic to back to coping. im over it all. tried so hard to just put it all out of mind over the weekend and kept so busy with the kids but i guess today its just back hitting me like a brick.

lj

In response to: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

Hi @Former-Member. I think it's perfectly understandable that you feel like life is unpredictable and scary at the moment. Have you tried calling the community health worker? I didn't know mine was on leave recently until I had no reply and then rang to see what was going on to find out that she was on a fortnight leave. I hadn't been told.
It so hard being the one responsible for everything and not having anyone to really vent to or help out especially when your kids are so young. Thinking of you 💜😊🤗💐

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

i dont know @Former-Memberthe worker was supposed to visit on friday afternoon (she texted on thursday morning to say she was coming and i texted back ok in the afternoon). i dont talk on the phone unless i can really help it, i dont know why i just find it really hard to talk on the phone. one of the support people i work with is on leave but the other is still available but i feel like im such a pain, i dont want to be such a friggen over the top idiot. and im not even sure i want to see anyone but not knowing when they are going to want to is worse somehow. i wish my psychologist was back already (another 2 weeks). just feeling so anxious tonight. no way to breathe.

gah.

lj

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

I'm pretty sure I know exactly how you feel @Former-Member. If you're like me it's a bit of a no win situation in that you don't know that you want to see them and cancel then regret it on the day. I'd imagine just knowing what is happening would make a huge difference. I hate ringing community mental health too. I always feel like a drama queen. I think you would be feeling so different right now if you just had a date re the court stuff and knew exactly what support systems were in place for you. It would be really hard with your psychologist gone too. I had to sort out something with my therapist today about just letting me know what's going on because I have felt up in the air and then go to every level of catastrophising lately. It really doesn't help our mental health when we can't rely on our mental health supports. Mine is always good but just a few things lately messed me around. Luckily we sorted it out I hope today. Breathe @Former-Member. You've got this. It's hard and it's not fair and you don't deserve it but you'll drag yourself through it. Sending hugs 💜🤗💐

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

thanks @Former-Member

the people that somehow put up with me are great too.. I'm so lucky to have support at all... but i think it really just is that nothing is certain, everything is up in the air and its not any of my support workers faults. sigh.

are you ok?/how are you going?

lj

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

I've had an ok day today @Former-Member . First day for a long time I feel a bit like me - whatever that is 😝 I haven't had any extreme emotional response at home by myself for the first time in ages too. I feel I have a little bit more direction since coming home from hospital. The kids have chilled a bit too. I was really quite out of control for the past few weeks I think and they were wearing it a bit.

Ill be crossing fingers for you that you get some of the information that you need soon to help reduce the anxiety. Not knowing is the pits.

🤗💜💐

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

yay, well done @Former-Member you've been through a lot lately and you've been workiing so hard, im glad to hear that its been ok day. And phew that the kids were chilled too. thats always helpful. thank you for all your support.

hugs

lj

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

Hi @Former-Member
I hope you got some sleep tonight. This time of year as a teacher is SO tiring - reports, end of year concerts / awards nights and just throw some parent / teacher nights in there too! So I can't even imagine how overwhelming things are with other things on top of that!

But you are doing an amazing job.
In terms of your support worker - keep in mind it's their job - they shouldn't be people who just don't turn up because they don't want to. It would be like a teacher just not turning up to their class because they don't feel like it & didn't organise a replacement (ha! I know that can be tempting sometimes though 😉 ). I would encourage you to contact them (even via text) and just let them know you would really appreciate a visit. If it's a good support worker they will be horrified they they didn't come around on Friday.

Nik

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

hi @NikNik

i have a silly cough which has been making getting sleep harder than usual.... which isnt helping. i feel so fed up wtih everything, overwhelmed and useless. yes, school is just gah! im doing so much at home at the moment which i guess is good... but then at school in my 'non contact' time with kids im so exhausted i just cant do anything/or just cant find the motivation... or im chasing kids anyways! gah!

the support worker tried to catch up with me tonight by turning up at home, but i wasnt there as i was taking my daughter to her group for kids with serperated parents (because she's been so anxious). so now i've missed her again.. and feel crap because im not sure if she meant in the message she left that she thought we had an apointment today.. or whether she just called around to catch up. its too hard. and now im overthinking it i know. im so tired though. its hard to catch up with anyone because im so busy during work hours. but then like the cleaner seemed to be suggesting.. how could i really need help if im well enough to work. so maybe i shouldnt really be asking for or expecting help if im going to continue tow ork i should be able to do this on my own and suck it up. im slidijng though and so scared.

lj

In response to: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

Hi @Former-Member
Maybe it's time to phone her and set up a mutually agreeable time to meet as this ad hoc system isn't working for either of you. 💕🎶
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