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Something’s not right

sick of myself

sick of myself

ive been MIA lately. just so ashamed of myself for getting so low again. for being so useless to everyone around me. i'm so confused and lost in my life. ive been on this merry go round for 3 years since seperating frm my ex of court and appeals and family court mud slinging matches. it doesnt end and im suddenly so angry with it all and ive never really felt anger before and im terrified of it. people tell me that i need to hold on and that all that external stuff 'will end'... its been 3 years.. and at least family court wise we havent even started that properly yet. i cant envisage coping through another 3 years of this and being told that it 'will end' is just agh! im so confused with this anger that is just bubbling under the surface at the moment. i dont know what to do with it and when i start to 'get angry' i immediately start to remember horrific things where others were angry and shut off into some bad space with the movies running over and over in my head. i feel like i go from almost about to explode in anger to this pathetic terrified whimpering child. i'm scared all the time that its going to happen again. my physical health is on the rocks though mostly the drs just say im run down and my mental health is not helping and could be contributing etc. which is all true but doesnt really lead to anything getting better. and sleep is non existant. my pyschiatrist wanted me to use meds and i told him i'd tried them and they dont work and he laughed as though i was lying (not unkindly.. hes actually quite nice) and i wont take the other stuff he seems to love... but makes me feel so much worse during the day. it kind of doesnt help that its holidays i think because i lose the... routine that work forces me to stick to. and my kids are with their dad for the longest time yet and not speaking to them for so long is just awful.

i was getting by before by focussing on the next important thing that i had to do, whether it was get dressed, make lunches, get in the car, plan lesson, talk to... etc i just had everything down to this focus on one thing next. but i havent been able to keep up with any more than that andnow theres so much more piling in that is overwhelming me completely. house is a disaster area, but probably cluttered densely enougn now that we'd survive a nuclear attack (see i can sstill see a silver lining). my blood pressure problems and dizziness may mean i cant drive if it keeps happening. we wont cope with that. my brain looks at stuff and just doesnt compute it. i cant concentrate or make myself do that things that i know need doing. i started the dishes an hour ago but got as far as filling the sink and washing one plate before i just got distracted and ended up back in my chair. im just so utterly usefless at the moment and theres just nothing of me left.

lj

110 replies

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In response to: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

it was probably similar to the mood stabilising quality that the "anti-psychotic" I have had for a week has.

It is even on wiki .. that anti-psychotics are often used for those with non-psychotic symptoms ... I hope your legal representation pointed that out.

Darn the adversarial legal system .. not really the best for sorting out family issues.

Take care @Former-Member.

I am going to bed now as I am trying to keep better sleep hygeine too.

You are amazing to have managed this year .. it November ... how incredibly focussed and hard-working you are ... cant be psychotic and function in a school system ... that barrister ought to apologise ... for them its just a day at the office ... for you and your kids .. it massive.

Goeden nacht Bella

In response to: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

OMG @Former-Member. I'm so sorry. That's the class of meds I'm talking about and I know it's tricky as from today as my GP explained it all. I can't believe they used that against you. I was so angry reading that. You have been through hell and his lawyers are after blood and I am so mad.

I guess the thing I can think now is that the damage in court has been done and it won't matter if you take them or not. If you don't only because of the court case you are letting him win. There is absolutely no shame in this. You getting some sleep and functioning a little better is all that matters now. That part of the court case is over. Have you talked to your psych about lowering the dose or halving the tablets?

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

hi @Appleblossom

thanks, i know you get the whole crappola side of the court 'non'system. i have a big meeting about everything early next week and im just sinking lower the closer we get to it. because i know what im in for again.. i know that the whole system is all about the perpetrators rights and if i fight it, i lose anyway. theres no way to 'win' or even maintain dignity in anything.

@Former-Member thank you for your support.. i know.. the damage has been done and doesnt matter there now.. but i still fighting thorugh family court... and don't want them to be able to make me 'look' bad. i've had several reports done, by my psychologist, psychiatrist, and an independent psychiatrist (who charged $1200!!) who all say that i have the ability to be a good mother, despite the mi, my upbringing etc... but the words get twisted by the other side and presented in different ways. and courts are less about truth than they are about who can put on a good show, twist words and truths to their own benefit best...

lj

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

That all sounds so hard @Former-Member

My thoughts are with you for your upcoming meeting.

Keep looking after yourself, we're here for you

In response to: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

Thinking of you @Former-Member 🎶💕

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

big meeting tomorrow. going to find out what is happening with all the legal stuff. cant stop thinking about court and past stuff. feeling overwhelmed that the last three years have been for nothing.. that things are going to get harder.. not easier. more battles and fights to begin with my ex. settlement, family court, appeals. its just going on and on!

people say that me and the kdis are so much better off now... and we are.. but its been so hard. and now our rights are diminishing an his are increasing and it seems so unfair and theres nothing i can do about it. we're insignificant in the eyes of the law. and Christmas is making me feel overwhelmed. i am just overwhelmed.

Everything in my life is hard. work is so hard and i dont know if its just me.. or if it would be hard for anyone. im leaning towards it just being me and no idea what to do about that. the world is a crappy place at the moment and i feel alone. even though there are people around.. im alone.

i know the things i need to do to fight this dragging me down.. i'm eating and trying to get some exercise and spending a litle bit of time outside. but i can't sleep. and none of the rest seems to be helping because i struggle to keep the food downt hat i am eating i feel so sick all the time. will life ever get easier?

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

Hi @Former-Member,

Life is always going to have ups and downs, some people have more downs than ups. i know it is always a horrible time going through devorce proceedings, emotions fray, the nastyness sets in, it is always overwhelming, i know you have been abused so badly by him, i don't know how he is getting away with it, the laws always seem to favour the purpetrator and never the victim.

Things will get easier @Former-Member, once the devorce is finalised and things settle down, you will get into a routine and life will get easier. sometimes it is hard to see two steps in front of us with all the fog of life.

stay strong @Former-Member, you are an amazing mum and a wonderful stong woman.

gentle hugs

Jacques

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

thank you, i know you understand.

This is just dragging on for so long. i cant see anything being finalised. i cant see it ending. i dont know that he'll even divorce me lol. but if we have only come this far.. not even finished the first step.. not even gotten divorced in 3 years... how long is it going to take to get to finalised and finished... i'm not sure i have the energy for another 3 years of anything.

lj

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

You can be the one to file the paperwork for divorce. It may speed things up. Ask a few lawyers.

In response to: Re: sick of myself

Re: sick of myself

Hi @Former-Member, just wondering how you went with the court stuff and if you are ok? Sending hugs 💜🤗

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