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Trying makes it worse

Trying makes it worse

Hi,

I'm EternalFlower and I've been feeling completely overwhelmed, sad, and pessimistic.

I've tried and been a responsible patient and person, reaching out to various services when I started feeling scarily anxious and suicidal, 2 years back..

My Dr is new, a young guy who regularly admits he's inexperienced, and aside from some good jokes, he actually does very little

I notice how easy it is to blame myself that I don't feel better, a total shame spiral, but I wander if my treatments just are bad....

I wanted to chat and hear anyone and hope I can use this space to help not feel so alone.

Thanks xxx EternalFlower

2606 replies

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In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Lol @TAB yeh the cult was a definite favourite in my childhood home .. Except for me!

Unsure why I am Maddington now. That's cool, I don't know what it means so I'm pretending that you are calling me Paddington 😊

 

 

So cute!

 

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hey @Former-Member thanks for the reply.

Yes it was lots of reading for me too when I first started..I still manage to get lost & barely feel like I've scratched the surface in trying to navigate my way around. I have been active on here 6+months. As I am fairly isolated in my daily life, it can be a great way for me to learn from other people & gain different perspectives. I agree, it can be really interesting to read other people's stories & insights. I think it has made me realise too, that we are all professionals in a sense, even though we don't all share the degree. I hadn't ever heard the term 'lived experience', previously.

Wow! That is very cool that you have a dog as your first pet💜 & the 2 of you are learning about the bond you share together. Animals are awesome companions. Even though I know they are smart, I'm constantly surprised, & amused at how clever they really are. They don't understand language (as a human would) & yet they can seem to have opinions about entire conversations, or concepts! I think this is more true of dogs. It's true - cats are more aloof. Cats have wicked sense of humour, most people miss😄

Oh wow - I've never thought to draw monsters. As I mentioned, I'm not good at drawing - I get immersed in colour. Lots of stuff is abstract. Lately, I have doing YouTube tutorials & learning very simple art. My most comfortable medium is oil pastels. I have been using chalk/soft pastels - I bought them by accident!! They are too dusty & messy for me.

I was also attempting mandalas & used acrylic paint pens.

I'm really not an artist at all (in the traditional sense)! I really enjoy the creative outlet, & calm it gives me.

Do you use paint? Are you very good? Are they cartoon monsters, or realistic 😬!

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@Former-Member a soft pastel that I copied from YouTube a few days ago.🙂

 

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Guess I stuffed tag up @maddison sorry

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

You’re absolutely right @maddison. It is such a valuable learning experience and everyone on here is a professional. I have found in my life time, that degrees give you little practical experience or lived experience as you say.

My dog is funny, he is very very clumsy and always misjudges his girth and is always bumping his head on the door jams etc. My best friend has a cat and she told me about his sense of humour. I think that cats get an unnecessarily bad rap 🐈. And for sure, every animal that I have ever met has an opinion on everything. I find that so funny and cute.

I have never been able to master paint or oil pastels. And regardless of the media, I am always messy LOL. YouTube is great for tutorials. I love the videos, they can make mastering something a lot easier. I got into drawing mandalas from scratch a few months ago. They take a long time, but they look very effective. I had to go and kit myself out with a compass, I haven’t had one of those since high school. I try to draw realistic monsters, but sometimes they do turn out quite comical. I have been working on a book of monsters for a few years now. I’d love to see some of your abstract work if you wanted to share a picture? Abstract is actually very hard to master.

Art is all about how it feels not how it is judged aesthetically. What defines an artist? Hmmm 🤔

have you ever been to any art galleries?

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Wow!! This is AMAZING @maddison

The colours are so intense. Did you mix these yourself? You are so good! 🤩

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Wow @maddison ! That's an awesome piece of art there 🙂

Thanks for sharing!

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hey @EternalFlower yes, I have heard of Yellow Jackets...I have no idea where from tho! Maybe you mentioned it previously on here? I looked it up, it looks great & scary. I think I would enjoy it.

I didn't realise you were granted DSP. That is great news. Yes, it's so difficult to get. It can be a huge weight lifted, not having to answer to C'link & all their stringent rules. I am on DSP too. It was really only by pure luck that I had an amazing, understanding case manager (employment cm) at the time who advocated for me. My initial claim was rejected.

It's inspiring & motivating to read you are still working too! Well done 👍

I agree with @Former-Member re: your friend going away. We are still here for you.

Ok. Bye🌞

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

👍 @TAB

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

..stuf happens @maddison esp w tagging on here since upgrades
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