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Trying makes it worse

Trying makes it worse

Hi,

I'm EternalFlower and I've been feeling completely overwhelmed, sad, and pessimistic.

I've tried and been a responsible patient and person, reaching out to various services when I started feeling scarily anxious and suicidal, 2 years back..

My Dr is new, a young guy who regularly admits he's inexperienced, and aside from some good jokes, he actually does very little

I notice how easy it is to blame myself that I don't feel better, a total shame spiral, but I wander if my treatments just are bad....

I wanted to chat and hear anyone and hope I can use this space to help not feel so alone.

Thanks xxx EternalFlower

2606 replies

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In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hope your safe @EternalFlower sounds a confronting experience

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Thanks @TAB I was OK today during the day but this evening feel a bit funny

They were meant to offer more support post-discharge, even a check in and home visit.

5 minute call this morning.

I think I will decline further calls as have not been helpful.

Messy.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hi @maddison @Former-Member @Appleblossom @TAB @tyme

How was Ur day?

Today was good for me, I got a lot of chores done which just made me feel reset, temporarily.

I got a call from the CATT team 9am which was unfortunately very brief and non specific, it didn't really go into detail.

I have had a bit of a lonely evening, 🙁 sad and kinda want to debrief with the dr who sectioned me who is now on leave.

@maddison I have a friend who supports me, perhaps similar to Ur support of Ur friend, and before I was sectioned my Dr asked for a contact for me. Like a friend he could call. I gave him my old school friend Annie, and he indicated he'd call her.

He hasn't done so but I thought maybe she could call him? I'm not sure when his official leave starts.

Is anyone doing anything special or going somewhere out of the ordinary for the long weekend?

It is raining so much here.

I would love to go away at some point, but hard to visualise it when my mood stuck in mean and si strands.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Great to hear from you @EternalFlower I have to be quick, I'm about to jump into bed. Yes, I don't see a problem with Annie calling your dr. I have had to do that in the past. Likely it will be very brief & informal, similar your call from CAT. Annie might want to write down any queries she has beforehand, such as a contact number while dr. Is on leave, or specific warning signs to look out for - such as issues with sleep & diet. Maybe you can update Annie each day if you both agree to it. Maybe she can ask advice on what is most helpful for you at moment. Ok. Night❤️

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Please be safe @EternalFlower don't hesitate to call the crisis numbers if you need to ok

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Nothing special re wknd here @EternalFlower hope you're okay

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

heya @EternalFlower sorry the call was so brief with the CATT team!

Not sure if this is helpful, but when I can't get to my counsellor as soon as I'd like, I've been trying to journal as a bit of a debrief for myself. Then I share it with them when I see them next.

I'm doing something special! I've been feeling very "stuck" the last few months and leaving home for a few days has been so hard. Sounds similar to what you've going through. But I've managed to get away to the country to see family! I've been hanging out with my niece (2) and nephew (2 weeks!) which has been nice.

Are you getting up to much out of the ordinary? Even something small?

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@EternalFlower

Good to see your posts.

I am wondering if the psychiatrist was feeling more pressured by his upcoming leave than by you in the session, but I was not there, so can only speculate.

It seems to be a concern that psychiatrists training only rarely includes training in psychotherapy. Only if they choose to do extra, otherwise their practice may be reduced to med management and decisions to admit and team meetings. Even 10 mins of decent therapy could be included in their sessions.

I hoped your post-discharge support would be better. Maybe after the weekend, with all the kerfuffle about the funeral, optus security fail, and the footie, the CATT will put more in.

Keep reaching out however you best feel meets your needs.

Sometimes having a trip can help but sometimes not, a lot depends on your headspace.

Gently Bently

Apple

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Thanks @Appleblossom u are right and it's worthwhile to see from their perspective

When I see my Dr once a week I don't know exactly what leave means or how long it's for or when it starts and ends. I only know if my appointment is cancelled.

He could be away for a day or two weeks and could have something stressful on for his leave. We like to think that they know a lot about human psychology but their training doesn't really include it. My dr always talks about never having time. When I asked him if he'd even undertaken therapy as a patient he said he believed in it for all but has never had the time.

Yet these things need time. I wander if he didnfeel a bit more pressure to make a decision due to his impending leave.

I felt quite traumatised and worried the past day and thank u @Appleblossom @Former-Member @maddison @tyme @TAB I found reaching out very helpful. Just let me process and validate.

I had been feeling that since many ppl have worse experiences being sectioned, even leading to force able restraint and physically being held etc, that my experience was nothing and basically back to business

But while I had fortune that the doctors, police and nurses were nice and kind, the system itself imo is rough, and being sectioned is still rough. Whoever does it.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

I'm reading on and listening @EternalFlower .

Do what's right for you my dear.

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