Trying makes it worse

Hi @maddison @Appleblossom

Stars 🌟 for hope and promise

It was sunny here today too.

My 80 year old neighbour came and opened my car door for me (!) To help me get out with my bags. He told me to be careful, opening my door. It is odd for someone to be kind to me. It felt funny. I appreciated it. He and I usually talk about the weather, because his English is so limited, he likes to tell me when it will rain. We have good, warm weather now, too.

I think the oodie sounds fun. It is good to be warm at home.

I'm having a lot of anxiety today, and silly flashbacks...a hard night. I got a call today from new cm, so nice and lovely. So glad.

I am hoping to move sometime soon, it would mean changing from the hospital where I go, so that's what I've been thinking about. The cm was meant to help me look for new accommodation but she just told me it would be hard and it wasn't a good time for looking, ie she didn't want to do it. Funny lady. Maybe with new cm that will actually happen.

I bought an Essie nail polish, it isn't so good...but back to the painted nails 🙂

The best hobby.

How are u?? I know u said u were busy...hope all goes great and the weekend is nice...

I do still hate weekends LOL. I can't "relax" or whatever that means.

Rushing off. Am allowed to see grandson. Surprise decision by the mother from on high a couple days ago. He is back from overseas trip.

@EternalFlower

I am def not a nail painter. Only have a little polish for stopping runs in stockings, but only wear them once a year so should last me a life time. Me nails are nibbled to the quick. We used to have someone on the forum who painted little rocks. It is good you have appreciation of colour. Have you thought of doing more art ... in some way ...?

It is good your neighbour was protective.

Can I ask why you want to move?

It is always one of the uncertainties when moving, to see who you will meet and sort out the good from the bad.

Hey @EternalFlower

How is your weekend going? Yep, my week ended up being way more full-on than I expected. Thank goodness it's over & I can try to relax now.

I'm excited you bought a new Essie polish. What one is it? If it the colour or formula you are not impressed by? I noticed China Glaze sent me an email today, showing their newest collection. It's all browns!! I thought of you instantly.

My nails are still repairing from the fakeys that I stuck on. Terrible idea. I don't know why I did it. I never like things on my nails that I can't remove easily..I get nail claustrophobia..?!

I will reply properly tomorrow, if I can. My head is not working at the moment.

Thinking what to watch on tv tonight. It might be reality tv - I really like a show called Ghost Adventures. It's so silly - sometimes I'm very easily entertained tho!

@Appleblossom no worries about the 'copying quotes.' I'm not sure how they do it! Thanks for reply & I agree about important part. I liked how you mentioned using nail polish on ladders. I was taught the same thing as a child! I hadn't thought about it in years.

Adding gifs because they are fun...haha xx

Hope U both have lovely weekend.

Hey @EternalFlower

How is your weekend going? Yep, my week ended up being way more full-on than I expected. Thank goodness it's over & I can try to relax now.

I'm excited you bought a new Essie polish. What one is it? If it the colour or formula you are not impressed by? I noticed China Glaze sent me an email today, showing their newest collection. It's all browns!! I thought of you instantly.

My nails are still repairing from the fakeys that I stuck on. Terrible idea. I don't know why I did it. I never like things on my nails that I can't remove easily..I get nail claustrophobia..?!

I will reply properly tomorrow, if I can. My head is not working at the moment.

Thinking what to watch on tv tonight. It might be reality tv - I really like a show called Ghost Adventures. It's so silly - sometimes I'm very easily entertained tho!

@Appleblossom no worries about the 'copying quotes.' I'm not sure how they do it! Thanks for reply & I agree about important part. I liked how you mentioned using nail polish on ladders. I was taught the same thing as a child! I hadn't thought about it in years.

Adding a gif because they are fun. xx

Hope U both have lovely weekend.

I have had a good busy social weekend. A friend on Friday, my beautiful grandson on Saturday and playing the organ on Sunday. I had not seen grandson for quite a few months, they have been travelling and he speaks mainly another language, not English, so this was thrilling as I finally had my first real conversations with him amidst laughter and silliness. He gave me a big smile at the beginning, which showed he remembered and a big spontaneous hug at the end. A real pleasure.

Hope you are alright @EternalFlower

@maddison understands the nuances. I have not a clue about that stuff.

Dont worry about my bad hair days and bad nail years .. I have stopped worrying about them ...lol

Hi @Appleblossom @EternalFlower

How are you? Oops I did not realise I posted twice last night. I think I was over enthusiastic with the gifs & first time it wouldn't let me post.

Yes stars for hope & promise @EternalFlower I have always been captivated by the night stars. Their beauty & mystery might be the best vision in the world. And you can see them from anywhere. There is a star that sits just above horizon, opposite my bedroom. Occasionally, I see it if I'm taking the rubbish out at night. Lately, it has been sparkling a deep red colour. It's magical.

What a lovely neighbour you have, helping you with groceries. Maybe, he has the old fashioned kindness in him, that we seem to have lost these days. Speaking of neighbours, my new neighbour has not moved in yet. I have seen her briefly through the window. She is younger than me, & I heard through the 'street gossip' that she is a teacher. I think that sounds perfect for me!! I don't want any noisy, rough boy types!

Sorry you have been having anxiety & flashbacks. That sounds horrible. I know it's easy to say, but please try not to dwell on those thoughts. Try to tell yourself, 'the thought is there, - I acknowledge it.

That helps me sometimes. Acknowledge. Or 'appreciate' it's existence.

That's all.

Anxiety, for me - seems to be a biological process. Perhaps trauma has made my "systems' more alert or sensitive. Or maybe, this is how I was born. I don't really seem to be able to manage it. It happens spontaneously, sometimes by cause or sometimes in general. I have sensory, mainly audible sensitivities. My anxiety prevents me from watching tv with loud noises, or listening to music that I actually love! Medications, help me incredibly, not a cure tho.

Oh, I found a YouTube tutorial to Crochet flowers. It's fun & helps calm me. I tied one to my hair clip, so now I have crochet flowers in my hair.

Here, I made you one!

Hope you are ok. Reach out if you want to chat. I will check back in tonight xx

@Appleblossom I'm happy to read about your perfect day with your grandchild. I can feel the joy in your words xx

Hello and happy weekend check in @maddison @Appleblossom @TAB (sorry if too girly here... )

That sounds so heart-warming that u have a intrinsic bond and understanding with grandson. @Appleblossom glad u got to see him as sounds like it was uncertain there for a minute.

@maddison thank u for Ur posts and just for being here as well, I also find it hard to write when a bit wobbly, maybe hard when going through a lot?

It's appreciated

New neighbour sounds amazing.

Hi @EternalFlower been a bit tied up with work and getting things done when not at work instead of whenever I feel like it lol

Glad you are checking in @EternalFlower

Weekend coming to a close. Not sure what I will watch tonight.

I have not seen the little one often and it was good, as good as could be hoped. He really enjoyed his dad, my son, too, and I enjoyed them from a distance. Not that we can control things, So I feel more optimistic about things.

Take care @TAB @maddison @tyme @Freedom11

@Appleblossom hope you find something to watch

weekends gone already here. Work again tomorrow.